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Horrible 9 year old dd

(29 Posts)
lainiekazan Wed 10-Jul-13 11:50:00

I lost it again this morning and screamed at dd.

She is just so surly all the time. She has always been difficult - terribly shy and prone to tears - but recently it's moved up to a new level.

After school yesterday I said I'd bought ice creams. "probably boring ice lollies" snarls dd. I ignore that, and said I'd also bought some cookies. "How big?" comes another snarl. I ignore that.

This morning I've made her a special packed lunch for a school trip. "I've made you salad nicoise!" I say brightly. Dd shrugs.

Then I went mad. It's all the time. Looking so miserable and making monosyllabic sneery comments.

Any advice?

lottieandmia Thu 18-Jul-13 20:26:23

I don't agree that losing it is the best course of action. As parents we do all lose it occasionally because we're fallible but I don't see how it teaches a child anything useful tbh.

It boils down to the fact that we can all be moody and miserable and it's not fair to expect your child to be lovely all the time because they too are fallible like us!

Zedg Thu 18-Jul-13 22:50:42

My 9 yro son is driving me crazy. He just doesn't listen to anything I ask him and has an allergy to the word no! If I say he can't have or do something he just answers back and goes on and on. I try to ignore him when he's going on and on but he knows how to wind me up, then I flip and start shouting and grounding him. He becomes apologetic then the next day he's the same horrid child. I am reduced to tears everyday and I don't know what to do.

coolcookies Sun 21-Jul-13 22:06:11

Basildonbond, today I had a similar experience because I took 9yo dd to my friends party and she had one of usual shy kickoffs but she got a little annoyed because all the grown ups kept being all soft with her and, to be honest, I got sick of it as well, but dd just suddenly started to run round the garden, screaming and shouting and everyone stared at her and she remarked, What are you looking at?! And everybody started muttering about how she is ' crazy ', apparently. It was very tiring on the whole, and I now know that I shouldn't of really taken her...

VenusSurprising Mon 05-Aug-13 00:23:11

They're just big toddlers really.
They need to sleep and have water and food.

Also they need to be told that whinging and being grumpy isn't on.

Maybe have a family meeting so you can sort out levels of strop that are acceptable (none here) and ask them to go to a quiet spot and draw/ write some stuff down if they're feelings are overwhelming them. They can dance on their angry mat too, and you can get yours out and dance around as well!

We did this with our toddler, and now with our preteen. It works well (fingers crossed)

We all live in our house: no one is allowed to go off on one and slam doors, swear, shout and be in a huff. Rules and guidelines are important: meetings get buy in on these points.

We also have a lot of talking time: we eat together most nights, and we have a family game night at least once a week, when we all get down in the floor and play a fun board game!

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