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Preteens

DD (age 10) "moustache"

38 replies

mttum · 28/04/2013 13:57

Any advice please? DD has developed a bit of a 'tache on upper lip, as well as hair under arms "etc". It's not bothering her at the moment (as far as I know, anyway), but she'll be going up to high school in September and I want to be prepared for if she starts getting teased/bullied or otherwise becomes self conscious about it. Shaving underarms I don't have a problem with when she brings it up, but I don't think it is a solution with facial hair. Any ideas?

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ohtobecleo · 28/04/2013 16:37

I had this problem as a teen (though I was about 15 before it became an issue) and my mum used to take me for a lip wax. Slightly painful, very effective. I now (in my 40s) have no hair on my upper lip and stopped waxing some time in my late 20s.

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MyNameIsSuz · 28/04/2013 16:51

Don't wax it! Ouch. Try a little dab of sensitive Veet, there's one that's for faces.

I think the real issue would be how to broach it. Were you planning to wait until she noticed - or had it pointed out - and said something and have a solution ready? That would be kindest, but if that was me at 11 I'd have been embarrassed and kept it to myself.

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ohtobecleo · 28/04/2013 16:58

The advantage of waxing over hair removal cream is that the cream is like shaving (ie just removes hair from the surface) and it grows back quickly. Waxing removes it from the root so the hair takes longer to grow back and it gets finer, and over time the need to remove it becomes less. Hence my second point that I no longer have the need for hair removal on my upper lip. But I probably wouldn't start that until she's a couple of years older as it is painful - briefly!

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Meringue33 · 28/04/2013 16:59

Laser treatment. Go somewhere they have hospital grade kit, if good it should only take a few treatments to go for good.

NB if they suggest shaving prior to the treatment DO NOT do this. Just trim with nail scissors.

Although its a sensitive topic perhaps there is a way to let your daughter know you would support her with this? You don't want her to take matters into her own hands and do something daft like shave or pluck, which can cause even thicker regrowth.

I speak from experience! My genes are very hirsute and I've promised myself if I ever have a daughter I'll pay for her to have laser treatment on legs and face if she wants it, at a relatively early age so she doesn't have to spend half her life battling it like me! (So far I only have a son, relieved for him!!)

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mttum · 28/04/2013 20:46

Thanks everyone. It's good to get a female point of view as I am a single dad and just want to do what's best for her. I wasn't going to bring it up myself but take your point meringue about not leaving it until she takes matters into her own hands. At the moment we can talk about pretty much everything, so lets hope it stays that way!

Thanks again - I'll make sure I don't leave my razor lying around!

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lovesmileandlaugh · 28/04/2013 21:01

How about bleaching it? Will just make it less noticable!

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mttum · 29/04/2013 05:58

Thanks ls&l, would that be using peroxide? Any idea how often it would need doing? I am thinking bout electrolyisis: has anyone had it done and could you give me any idea of costs, pain levels etc?

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VivaLeBeaver · 29/04/2013 06:12

DD has this, hadn't noticed it herself. I just told her straight. But she knows I have the same thing so I don't think was too embarrassed. We used facial hair removing cream (which is what I use as well).

I think bleaching is pointless as the hair is still there and no way am I waxing it off.

DD also has hairy legs and uses removal cream on them, and last weekend she also used it on her forearm hair which she's always been self concious about.

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mttum · 29/04/2013 07:20

Thanks viva. It kind of depresses me that we have to have this conversation at all, but as always I guess open loving communication is the way forward...

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VivaLeBeaver · 29/04/2013 07:35

I think just reassure her that for a large number of women/older girls it is quite normal. That people don't tend to discuss it so we don't realise how common it is.

You never know she might be quite excited in a way that its a sign she's growing up.

I know my dd is desperate (sadly in my view) to grow up and was thrilled when she started growing hairs in her armpits, etc.

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NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 29/04/2013 07:39

Viva's right OP...some girls are chuffed about it all happening...she's still your little girl though.

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mttum · 29/04/2013 07:40

Ha ha, yes, she is the envy of the other girls at school with armpit hair! Grin. I was the same about shaving but after 43 years the novelty has worn off.

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mttum · 29/04/2013 07:41

With her armpit hair I meant

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LeBoob · 29/04/2013 09:57

I once bleached mine and got awful chemical burn, waxing or tweeting would be the way forward IMO S

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LeBoob · 29/04/2013 09:58

Tweezing**

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formerdiva · 29/04/2013 10:08

My Mum and Dad helped me start bleaching my moustache when I was 10 (it does make real difference IMO). Broaching the subject would be tricky I can see, but I'd bet money that she's already aware of it herself and dislikes it. Maybe if it was a broader "I know you're getting older and I want to let you know that you can talk to me about make up/ skin care/ hair removal. I might not know the answers, but we can find out together".

I can still remember the gratitude I had for my parents when they helped me out Smile. BTW, you buy a specialist bleach for it. Jolen is the brand name, but Boots also do their own version.

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rootypig · 29/04/2013 10:34

oh don't bleach! absolutely dreadful for the delicate skin there, even the products that are 'designed' for it.

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VivaLeBeaver · 29/04/2013 10:37

It depends how bad the "tache" is. I tried bleaching as a teen. It was still noticable, especially in sunlight. As I'm very dark brunette it was obvious I'd dyed it and everyone just took the piss more than if I'd left it.

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elfycat · 29/04/2013 10:49

I'm fairly blonde and have always bleached (just bought more today). The area is pinkish for about an hour afterwards, if it was more than that I'd consider waxing.

As a Dad you could laugh some time while doing your face, about what age you started shaving and get into the conversation that way.

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Madamecastafiore · 29/04/2013 10:52

Nowhere should laser anyone who hasn't finished puberty. Anywhere that does is really not worth their salt.

I'd wax and if she still troubled when about 20 get it lasered then.

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formerdiva · 29/04/2013 11:57

I guess it's different strokes for different folks, but bleaching has never left me sensitive (and my skin is quite touchy - I can't use spot creams for example). I have black hair and quite a mighty tache to go with it, but bleaching makes it look better. Not as good as waxing, but I don't think I could have handled that at 10. If she's up for it, though, waxing is definitely the best short term option IMO, and maybe in a couple of years she can switch to that?

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ZZZenagain · 29/04/2013 12:05

I'd use hair removal cream. Just apply, wait, wipe off. Can leave the skin looking reddened but if she does it at night, the skin will look normal the next day. When she is a bit older, you can take her to a beauty salon and try a different methos. Beautician warned me against waxing, said she felt it contrubuted to facial linings she has.

Bleaching is also straight-forward and easy to do at home. Plucking too painful IMO. Waxing also hurts because the hair is tugged out with the roots

Your lucky dd that her dad helps with thexe things too

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daytoday · 29/04/2013 12:23

Don't wax - my hair comes back stronger! I must be a freak.

I would research hair lazer removal for when she is older, so she knows that there is a solution when she is ready.

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Branleuse · 29/04/2013 12:37

for her own sake, tell her shes getting a tache and its nothing to worry about but you want to put some cream to bleach it.

Id do it before the other kids notice tbh

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Dancergirl · 30/04/2013 11:50

I can't believe some of these responses. For goodness sake, she hasn't even noticed or is even bothered! Is this about the girls feelings or the parent's?? Or maybe the parent is disappointed that she isn't bothered by it.

Girls shouldn't be encouraged to remove or disguise natural body hair unless THEY want to. As for discouraging bullies.....if she's going to be bullied at all, they'll find something else to pick on.

Waxing, laser, bleaching....has anyone actually ASKED her if she wants to do this? How nice to hear about a girl who isn't so wrapped up in her own vanity.

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