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DD's lack of self-confidence

(9 Posts)
LindyHemming Wed 24-Apr-13 20:04:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lljkk Wed 24-Apr-13 20:07:21

Is she generally a worrier?

What does she think she's good at?

Finding something she knows she can do competently might give her confidence a boost in other areas.

LindyHemming Wed 24-Apr-13 20:17:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lljkk Wed 24-Apr-13 20:20:47

That's cause she thinks you're blinded by love; she's right in a way, you're programmed to love her & not see her objectively.

Question is, why does she want external validation. Is something specific getting her down, maybe. Does she need to learn that adequate is actually fine and a respectable achievement most of the time?

LindyHemming Wed 24-Apr-13 20:35:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lljkk Thu 25-Apr-13 07:42:05

It sounds like she might be good candidate for CBT, which you might be able to help her do some of the tricks of without having to get professional counselling. Just getting her to stop and question herself when she's upset, she would need to work it thru outside her head, on paper maybe:

"I feel Y
I feel Y because I believe X.
What is the evidence that X is true?
Should I still believe X?"

type stuff.

Ledkr Thu 25-Apr-13 08:00:35

Are you confident because that would affect her.
Dies she do a hobby? Guides drama or whatever.
I find with dd 11 if she's not feeling great about school she still has her outside friends at her clubs.
My dd is skinny but beautifull and a talented dancer. Other girls can be very unkind about her "spine sticking out" I use humour a lot to help her come up with answers or reasons why the fat girl person might say theses things.
It's a funny age isn't it? Hope it gets better.

ThreeBeeOneGee Thu 25-Apr-13 08:04:03

I can recommend a book called "How to be happy" by J. Alexander. It's a sort of self-help book for children, but not at all cheesy. Presented in a 'cool', humourous style, it goes through some basic CBT so they can change their own negative thinking patterns into positive ones.

DS1 read it in Y6 and it helped him.

ThreeBeeOneGee Thu 25-Apr-13 08:07:06

jennyalexanderbooks.wordpress.com/talks-and-visits/general/

She has also written a "7 day self-esteem booster" (same link)

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