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Devastated DD, first period 10 years old

(85 Posts)
SouthernPolish Fri 12-Apr-13 23:35:45

My DD started her periods today and is absolutely devastated, poor lamb. I have done my very best to prepare her for this day, books, chats, choosing supplies in Boots etc. But she has sobbed and sobbed all evening and her eyes are are very sore.

She says shes just wants to stay a child and does not feel ready to grow into a lady. She doesnt want anyone at school to know.

She has only just fallen asleep in bed with me, clutching her teddy.

I was 11 and remember feeling the same, hence trying to be well prepared for DD.

Feel rubbish on her behalf...

piratecat Sun 28-Apr-13 21:05:37

we are also trying to do a night time bed wetting alarm along side periods. the alarm goes into the underwear, but obviously, her period will set it off.

tonight is day one so has gone up to bed with just pants on and a sanitary pad.

my poor dd, talk about conflict.

Eldoret Sun 28-Apr-13 20:57:25

poor thing
im 40, and it still upsets me that i have to be a grown up lady! i cry every month. Dont tel her that though smile

MNBlackpoolandFylde Sat 27-Apr-13 22:42:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dancergirl Wed 24-Apr-13 22:54:41

Thanks for updating OP, your poor dd. My own dd started last summer but so far has been quite light luckily.

Hope things improve soon. Her teacher sounds horrible! Sod the school (and SATS!), if you think she needs to stay home then do it.

Mumzy Sat 20-Apr-13 01:25:46

Poor love it's rotten starting so young especially at primary school you just want them to enjoy their childhoods without having to deal with adult stuff too soon and you sound like a lovely mum Southern. This thread takes me back to when I started at 10 thank god a couple of months before our teacher shooed the boys out into the playground one afternoon and gave us girls a pep talk about periods. Otherwise I wouldn't have been any the wiser when I started. I do remember for the first couple of years having very irregular but very heavy periods with the most awful cramps. The day I discovered feminax was amazing.

piratecat Thu 18-Apr-13 22:46:01

dd has been taking proper ibuprofen and capsule paracetamol for about a year now.

thank god. it's much cheaper!

so much confusion about when girls start their periods. during my research, i found advice that it was only at certain weight! Not true, dd was prob about 5 1/2 stone if that. Skinny, and with boobs (jealous)

SouthernPolish Thu 18-Apr-13 22:11:21

Oh yes I completely know what you mean Piratecat - 10 year old brain in the body of a teenager. GP said that if he didn't know her DOB he'd have said she was 15, based on weight, height and physical development.

Based on that, I am now ignoring the 12 years and over instructions on packs of Nurofen Meltlets and ditched the Calpol 6+ (useless!).

Trying to stay positive: hopefully the silver lining is she now doesn't have to go through all of this at Secondary school in the midst of exams... maybe a more chilled-out actual teenager?

Also: due to all of the questions she has been asking, she's definitely several steps ahead in terms of sex-education, which can't be a bad thing either. She knows about the pill because the GP discussed it (he's not advising it now, but for the future if things carry on as they are). So we had a long chat about it at home and got some books out.

Sadly, at DDs school the sex education so far has been a bit crap and I've already has to fill in many blanks and dispel some myths. A supply teacher even told the girls that 'overweight women have big breasts and thin woman don't' :-O

piratecat Thu 18-Apr-13 19:16:32

yes i was concerned with the pill. But, weighing up the odds of the effect the periods have had on her and her schooling, and one year in i decided to try it.

They were only more 'happy' to give her a chance on them because she has had regular periods for a year. Therefore, she is functioning well, and as i described before had been going thru puberty for two yrs before she got her first period.

a ten yr old in a much older body hormonally if you like. primark pants are great btw. 2.50 lol.

SouthernPolish Thu 18-Apr-13 18:46:48

Thank you piratecat - good practical advice and tips! esp re: Buscopan.
Had already thought about buying black / dark coloured cheapo pants at weekend. We are currently using 'older' pants and may end up binning them if they look grotty.

It's rubbish that they have to go through this isn't it?!

Hope your DD is ok - hospital stuff sounds scary and worrying. How awful for both of you :-(

When she's a bit older I will defo go for the pill option, as I still remember the huge relief that came with going on it myself. But feel a bit concerned about hormones at such a young age.

Ta everso - really helps :-)

ShowOfHands Thu 18-Apr-13 18:13:11

I started my periods overnight and woke up in a pool of blood and in pain. I knew it would happen eventually but was in total shock. I ruined my sheep all in one sleepsuit, label was age 9-10yrs iirc. I felt v torn by the recognition of what was happening and the knowledge that it meant my body was growing up even if I wasn't ready to. My Mum got it right at first, gave me a day off school and told them I had an upset stomach. She went out and bought lots of age appropriate stuff, a little tin, drawstring bag etc and showed me what to do.

Then she bumped into my friends on their way home from school later that day and told them all. I don't know why I was so embarrassed but it still smarts now looking back.

You're doing a million times better than my Mum so far!

piratecat Thu 18-Apr-13 17:47:01

hiya southern, just sat here with my dd, the one who started her periods just before her 10th birthday.

firstly big hugs to you both from us.

Dd's first one was a 7 day event too, heavy, painful. They have all been pretty bad, with days lost from school.

Last year she had terrible pain for two weeks without a bleed, and i am not saying this to scare or indicate anything, but she ended up with being admitted as she was eventually found to have a bleed in her ovary. That was a different pain to period pain, but it returned to normal. Just wanted to put that out there in case anyone else does a search on here for period pain, and to highlight that some pain needs investigating.

However, back to period pain. GP prescribed mefanemic acid, for pain. This has never helped. Then Tranexemec acid, (to lesten flow) that didn't help flow or pain.

The only thing that has taken the edge of it is Buscopan and paracetamol. It was recommended by my pharmacist, when i was chatting to her, and when dd and i went back becuase of the pain (which she was also having days before her period but no bleed) I asked the gp who gave us it on prescription. It's primarily for IBS cramps, but google it and it can help any lower abdominal cramps.Another great thing is that you can get it in Tesco off the shelf, should you run out.

She has had such a rough time of them too, that the gynae team at our local hospital agreed to put her on the pill, to try and help with the pain.

DD is the same age as yours, also coming up for her sats.

Primark ladies knickers size 8-10 in a five pack, we bought two packs to help with disguising leakage. She doesn't like seeing the blood, and she's also not spoiling her nicer pants.

Morrisons own pads in the purple pack. DD is tall and slim but finds them comfy. She leaked all the time with the thin ones, and despite ones with wings not moving shefound she had more leakage on the inside of her thighs. So we didn't bother with those anymore.

hth a bit ?xx

SouthernPolish Thu 18-Apr-13 17:25:34

Ta for help & support.

DD is coping well mentally... but physically still not in a good way...

School was good in some ways and not others: bins, being let off PE, going out of class to use loo etc all good (although observant classmates sussed out situation quickly - not so good).

But she's STILL got bad cramps and is white as a sheet
:-( & bleeding is about the same as I do (ie: quite heavy!). It's day 7 now and no letup! I bought 6 packs of towels on Sat and need to restock!

Yesterday I walked her to school, but she was all 'wobbly' so I had a word with her teacher and took her home again. Teacher (AKA: Trunchball) said 'she just needs to get on with it - this is how is IS now', but when I pointed out, ahem: day six and still at least 4 leakages a day, she agreed I needed to get it checked out.

Saw our lovely GP - same one who she's had since birth... He said she's coping with an above average amount of pain and her bits and bobs are very inflamed, ie: stay off school until cramps improve and bleeding subsides. She's taking Nurofen for now, but he made me aware there are other options, should it get any worse.

So I told Trunchball we'd do online SATS test papers at home. Last time I looked DD was alternating between SATS and Googling pictures of poodle puppies (bless her!).

So, to add insult to injury, first period is not being a kind one, was hoping for a gentle trickle... quite the opposite. But, hardly surprised, I was just the same.

A spooky thing happened though... I'm usually like clockwork and not due on until late next week... started yesterday :-/ DD thought it was hilarious. And YES: we have compared pant situations!

AuntieMaggie Tue 16-Apr-13 19:41:30

Oh how our mothers feck us up...

I started my periods at 10 while staying with my dad. I was rumbled by my stepmum who is more laidback and open than my own mother about these things when she found my stash of used pads and dirty pants. My experience with my mother is similar to Southerns especially about the pill and tampons (though the message was I wad a tart to even consider it!). I have many memories of leaking at school as I used to go through a tampon and pad every hour but wasn't allowed to go to the loo during lessons, was in agony for the two weeks my period used to last, and would wake up every morning soaked including when on school camp which was just awful sad

I think you sound fantastic Southern

piratecat Tue 16-Apr-13 19:09:02

about a year i think. painful breasts for a long time, from 8-81/2, spots from then. Then grew about a foot, then started her periods two moths before her 10th birthday. hth

Sparklymommy Tue 16-Apr-13 18:02:56

Piratecat, just a little question, from the bumps around nipple til first period, how long? My Dd just seems so young!

piratecat Tue 16-Apr-13 16:30:19

op hope she is doing ok.

my dd got the bumps round the nipples, and painful breasts just after she was 8, followed quite quickly by pubes. Then bad skin. I wasn't that surprised when she got her first period, but it was still a shock iyswim.


DeepRedBetty Tue 16-Apr-13 15:58:09

Thanks for this thread. dtd2 is due for her third sometime in the next week, dtd1 is still waiting. Lots of really helpful ideas here.

OP I thought the way my mum handled it was bad until I read your experience.

Here's the flowers you deserved at the time and didn't get.

iloveweetos Tue 16-Apr-13 15:58:01

omg cant imagine having had started periods at 9-10!!!
i started when i was 15 and was looking forward to it, til it happened every month lol

sussexmum38 Tue 16-Apr-13 15:46:00

Despite having an older sister and lots of talks it was still a shock to our 11 year old last month when she started her first period. The following weekend I took her for a girly day out including some shopping. I think it helped.

Andro Tue 16-Apr-13 15:41:37

You sound like a really great mum OP.

I started when I was 10, 3 things really stick with me:

1. My best friend's mum had the wonderful task of helping me (I was at my friends house all day). She was very calm and matter of fact - making an embarrassing situation bearable - telling me that I didn't have to like the change, but I did need to learn to deal with it. She told me exactly what I needed to hear at the time. I also went from not periods to a predictable cycle, it made planning ahead easy.

2. I hated the sensation of being 'on', I always felt really grotty (in the 'I can't get clean' sense) - finding the right protection helped immensely!

3. I was a swimmer; learning to use tampons was NOT fun, it was however a necessity if I wanted to swim. There was also the fact that the school I attended did not permit girls to miss swimming just because of their period, appropriate protection was a 'must have'.

Sparklymommy Tue 16-Apr-13 15:29:47

This is an interesting thread, as I have just decided that my own 10 year old DD is starting puberty (suddenly put on weight, bumps around her nipples, prone to tantrums over silly things, easily upset). I also feel she is very young and she doesn't really want to talk about it or understand. I remember starting my own periods on my 13 th birthday (not the best present!) when I was staying with my nan.

DD is also a dancer and I hadn't even thought about leotards and the difficultys that will bring! Although she does wear warm up shorts a lot so that won't be a huge problem, I hope!

ripsishere Mon 15-Apr-13 07:16:57

You sound like a fabulous mum who isn't bigging it up (whatever that meansconfused).
My almost 12 YO DD is desperate to start hers. She's been dragging her own increasingly battered kit back and forth to school for 18 months now (it moved countries with us).
I can't imagine her encountering the red tide for a good few years. she is very slight, hair free and only has a bosom like two fried eggs.

SouthernPolish Sun 14-Apr-13 22:54:43

Oh and the above statements are in no way 'bigging it up' they are an accurate description of DD. Sadly, some 9 & 10 year olds just happen to hit puberty early (way too early). So all a Mum can do is help them through it.

Had a loooong chat this evening with the 'Whats Happening To Me?' Usbpurne book. Had a bit if a giggle cos I dumped a tampon in my mug of tea to show her how they work. She's feeling much better (in herself) today, although still got cramps.

SouthernPolish Sun 14-Apr-13 21:49:47

My DD has a typical 10 year old brain which happens to be inside a body which is most definitely more woman than child, ie: 5.5ft tall, size 5 feet, B cup boobs, hairy in all the places you'd expect and struggles to fit into kids clothing (size 8 fits far better). I still treat her like a child, but it's pretty obvious things are only going one way...

Dragonwoman Sun 14-Apr-13 21:47:58

Remembering how awful my periods were in my teens - pain, leaking & embarrasment - and I was 13 when I started- I wonder if these days you can get medication to stop them?
Would a GP prescribe the mini-pill for that purpose to a very young girl?
After all, there's no purpose to periods if you're not TTC - why make a young girl put up with them? I am thinking of asking if my own daughter has problems like I did.
I know artificial hormones are not ideal in a child, but once they have periods thier bodies are flooded with hormones anyway month after month for years - not really a natural state of affairs if you consider that through most of history girls started much later than they do today (because they weren't as well fed)

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