Is DS (10) a pushover and what to do about it?(2 Posts)
So, I have a 10 (just!) yr old DS. He's a lovely child, on the whole!
It was his 10th birthday outing yesterday, him plus three friends. They had a great time and afterwards two of them came back for tea. During tea, when they were sat one on each side of him, I noticed a fair bit of what I thought was playfighting / minor pushing and shoving going on but DS was laughing and giggling so didn't think too much of it.
After tea they went upstairs for ten mins before parents arrived to collect them.
When they'd gone, DS went quiet and when I asked if ok, burst into tears. He said one of the friends in particular had been unkind to him, teased him about the photo of his "girlfriend" that he had in his room and sometimes teases him at school for not having an Xbox etc. My DS, when this was going on upstairs, then hit out at this other boy. I can only assume it wasn't too violent an incident as we heard no shouts / cries and nothing was said at the time.
Think my DS was upset that he'd hit this other boy (knowing he shouldn't have) as well as the teasing / pushing / shoving that he'd been subjected to.
I think the trouble is that because he laughs along when it's happening, other kids don't realise he actually isn't enjoying it and so they think they can do it even more.
I know he needs to learn to stand up for himself, verbally not physically if poss, and that asserting yourself against your friends might be a necessary lesson in life but I just feel so sad for him that his so called friends think it's ok to treat him this way.
I worry that going forwards, he could end up seen in his friendship group, as the one that can be pushed about a bit / taken the piss out of.
Any advice about what we can do to help him assert himself gratefully received!
Judo, martial arts, the psychological side is about handling any conflict with confidence.
What you're describing is so normal, though, I reckon 50% of y5-y6 children frequently feel the same.
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