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Girls - is 11/12 a bad time for friendships?

(29 Posts)
Madmog Tue 22-Jan-13 10:14:40

Just wondering if 11/12 is a bad time for friendships, I guess partly due to the onset of puberty and some feeling sensitive? Or is it something that continues into teenage years? My daughter started comp in September and we were pleased to find she had four lovely friends in her group but things have changed.

For anyone who wants to read, in July and Sept my daughter got caught up between A & B, the result is B no longer talks to either girl. In December my daughter had a massive fall out with A over joint homework (A cancelled 7 times on two joint projects, so daughter said she would do it by herself with tutors agreement). It got really nasty and A got A, C and D involved as well as other girls. If it had continued would have been reported to school as it amounted to bullying and was threatening.

Last week A and C fell out with D - my daughter just about managed to keep out of this one. She said the week before A wanted C to herself and would get rid of D from the group. Now A and C are putting pressure on my daughter to walk with them and not D. My daughter choose to walk to D this morning as D has supported her on all of the above with the risk of losing friends and my daughter appreciates that.

It seems to be A who is initiating all the fallouts and instinct tells me maybe it would be best if my daughter wasn't her friends any more, but obviously there are others involved. What fun!

NewFerry Sun 27-Jan-13 10:21:25

Unfortunately though it doesn't say much for the mentor that knowing this her answer is to do nothing.

Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 10:24:13

I agree NewFerry I was disappointed after last time. Her reasoning was that what happened was only hearsay and she would need more evidence before she could do anything. The bully is clever though and devious.

NewFerry Sun 27-Jan-13 10:33:48

Why is it that some people behave this way? And at secondary school, I think they are old enough to know, understand, and take responsibility for their behaviour.

Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 10:59:58

I wish I knew. I think to start with QB was jealous of DD. She really doesn't have anything to be jealous of, but I don't think she realises how bad her behaviour is. She has always seen herself as the victim and nothing is ever her fault. When threatened with detention at school she has faked a migraine. She has spoiled countless birthday parties of DD's in the past by sulking because she wasn't the centre of attention. She sulked at one of DD's parties because she didn't win pass the parcel. One of the girls there told her to "get over herself". I wish that happened more and perhaps she would grow up a bit more. She tells lies and goes around saying that DD is needy. It is so unfair.

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