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my aspergers dd. how could they??

(29 Posts)
Gottabbrave Wed 12-Dec-12 21:29:52

My dd is 11 she started secondary last september. I had such high hopes for her. Now im not so sure.
For as long as i can remember she has suffered bullying of every kind from her classmates and its getting worse.
She is well above her years in intelligence and has asperations to be a civil engineer like her dad . Unfortunately she is also socially immature which is her downfall. She is constantly being verbally abused swore at pushed name calling. This is on a daily basis. The school are taking steps but the kids have threatened to beat her up if she tells so i am her one friend in this horrid situation and apart from expelling the main 3 culprets, i fear that realistically all i can say is she needs to have a very thick skin . Easier said than done .
I have to send her there every day,
im not sure if i have a question to you all or what im asking . Wish i could home school but i cant i have 3 other dcs.
I just want her to be happy and successful in life. She has so much potential and so wants to learn i just dont know what to do.
If i was super intelligent i would pull her out of school and teach her myself . If i was super rich i could pay private tutors etc but im none of these so what? Im so angry with these kids, im so angry with their parents for raising them to feel the need to bully.
One day something bad will happen. Im sorry can anyone help me?

Jakadaal Mon 17-Dec-12 17:21:00

My heart goes out to you OP - these are all my fears for DD when she hits comprehensive. I would second getting in the schools face - use Ed psych, governors, parent partnership, SENCO, Parent Support Advisors .... anyone who need to to get the school to sit up and do something about this

CatKitson Mon 17-Dec-12 17:25:17

Don't discount homeschooling. You don't need to be "super-intelligent" to home ed, just need support and a bit of help finding the right materials. You don't need private tutors, home ed groups often have parent co-ops which share some of the teaching. It has to be better than what the two of you are enduring at the moment.

amillionyears Mon 17-Dec-12 17:34:56

Does she have any friends there at all?

nortonmumoftwo Mon 07-Jan-13 11:37:55

Hi there gottabebrave

First thing - stay strong for her - a crying parent is of no use - I know I've done plenty of it!
Second thing - children (especially girls in my opinion) can be vile.

I had to get my DD changed class in year & due to a large amount of low level bullying by one vile girl. She is now with 'nicer' girls from 'nicer' homes and suffers no intimidation and bullying. She still falls out with them occasionally but its nothing she can't handle. I had to fight tooth and nail to get her changed as the school insisted it was just "friendship issues". There are so many layers of 'teachers/year heads/academic mentors" in schools nowadays - most really unnecessary. In the end I emailed the Head and he got is sorted. I have to say he was really good but only I think because I tried to convey a balanced attitude on the outside! It's not easy sending your child to school in tears and then picking her up in tears.

My advice would be, if you decide to stick it out - is to do everything in your power - i.e governors/headmaster/MP/LEA/police - i.e PCSO's normally deal with this type of thing. Remember any child can be arrested or suggested for Restorative Justice above 10 years old. Any violence should be reported to Police I think.

The other solution is to move her - what does she want?

I so feel for you - really I do - my situation absorbed my whole life for about two months. It will get better and your daughter will be a stronger person because of it - I promise!

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