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What chores do you expect your preteen to do?

(73 Posts)
Flippityjig Sat 10-Nov-12 21:24:35

My dd aged 11 currently only clears the table after a meal.

She has asked for a pocket money increase - she currently gets £1.50 a week. I have said I will increase it if she takes on some chores at which point she seems to lose interest a bit, well, she stops asking!

I'm thinking things like making her bed every morning, tidying her room once a week, cleaning the hamster cage, maybe hoovering downstairs once a week or dusting?

So I wondered what other children of similar age do.

Perhaps even more important, I would love her to do these things without me nagging repeatedly, any tips?

lisad123 Sat 10-Nov-12 21:27:33

Dd1 is 9 and her jobs are make her bed, tidy room, dishwasher at the weekend and help set table. She gets £2 a week plus sweets on a Friday.

Roseformeplease Sat 10-Nov-12 21:29:27

Mine (10 and 12) are expected to be completely in charge of cleaning their own rooms, bringing down laundry and putting away laundry. They clear and lay the table, empty the dishwasher and do some cooking (omelettes and scrambled egg, bacon, baking for the family etc). They also have chores as and when needed. One will empty all the bins, or bring in wood / coal for the fire. They carry shopping etc. They also wash and dry up pots and pans - sometimes.

I do not yet expect them to clean loos and bathrooms. They are going to take on one night's cooking a week each soon, as part of a raise in allowance. We are giving them a set amount per month for pocket money, phones and all their clothes except school uniform, coat and wellies. This will depend on an expanding list of chores once the youngest is 11.

Startail Sat 10-Nov-12 22:03:55

Not giving me a filthy look if asked to do anything would be a start.

The one downside of being a SAHM is DD2 does tend to think everything is Mothers job.

I do remind her that the taxi service breaks if she is too cheeky.

We live in the middle of nowhere, mummy's taxi is essential.
She is a silly soul who likes a hug, so the teen attitude doesn't last long. She also has been known to push the Hoover because it makes her feel big and strong. It's a hateful great Dyson, that I wish would die. However, I so rarely Hoover it will probably out live me.

14y DD1 likes cooking and mostly gets the idea that being helpful gets the job done quicker.

Startail Sat 10-Nov-12 22:06:39

That was meant to say soppy soul. Wanting a hug isn't silly. It's lovely she still wants to.

Flippityjig Sun 11-Nov-12 18:33:43

Thanks for the replies.

yes, unfortunately the hugs don't crop up as often as they used to here :-(

My dd doesn't enjoy cooking unfortunately. I'm hoping she'll get into it more when she starts cooking at school.

She currently has £1.50 pocket money per week but she gets top ups on top of that and really only spends it on sweets. I was going to increase her pocket money to £2 but think she should start doing a bit more.

I don't know if a reward chart is really a good idea at this age but don't know how else to ensure she does the chores.

Startail Sun 11-Nov-12 18:45:05

I think DD2 is finding senior school harder work than she expected. It has taken the edge of the teen bravo for a bit.

She had a huge amount of HW this weekend so I haven't suggested helping about the place.

I'm hopeless at sticking to chores lists and the DDs are so busy they always seem to have a good excuse. Anyhow if I nag them they notice I'm on here wink

Flippityjig Sun 11-Nov-12 20:18:23

Yes, my dd sometimes has piles of homework too, quite a shock after primary school shock

She hasn't caught on to my seeking advice on here yet wink

Theas18 Sun 11-Nov-12 20:25:03

Um just mainly much in and help, look after her room, put her washing out to be done and away that sort of thing.

But otherwise it's generally...I've coupled, someone else needs to set the table and clear away-they divide jobs between themselves pretty well.out, as Fri night, we have grandparents coming.can someone tidy and Hoover as I'll be late from work....the 16yr old and 13 yr old did a pretty good job :-)

We've generally steered away from jobs for money, if you are party of this family you muck in!

JudeFawley Sun 11-Nov-12 20:30:42

Our 10 yr old vacuums his room at weekend & strips his bed.

He helps empty dishwasher and will load & set washing machine and tumble drier. Puts away laundry.

He likes ironing, but is very bad at it.

He peels veg on a Sunday and bakes a bit.

No pocket money.

DeadTall Sun 11-Nov-12 20:32:49

DD (11) gets £2 per week and DS (13) £10 per month.

They have to make their beds every day & keep their clothes off the floor, empty the bins weekly, help with drying up at weekends, always clear the table and lay it whenever asked. If they do additional jobs (dusting, hoovering, washing the car) they can earn a bit more. I'm thinking of increasing it at Christmas, along with the chores list... I think helping with the washing will be next!

BitchyHen Sun 11-Nov-12 20:36:12

DD2 is 10. She puts her washing out daily (when nagged) and puts away the clean clothes. She tidies her room every week, feeds her hamster and helps me to clean his cage, and lays the table for tea. She gets £3.50 a week pocket money and no top ups.

BitchyHen Sun 11-Nov-12 20:41:49

12 year old DS has to put his washing out and tidy his room. He feeds his guinea pig and cleans her cage. He feeds the dog every evening (I do the morning) and takes the recycling out and sorts it into the correct boxes around 3x a week. He gets £20 a month paid directly to his bank account now he is at secondary school and rarely spends any of it.

Arseface Sun 11-Nov-12 20:47:56

DS, 11, has a chore a day. Little things like vaccuming upstairs carpets, cleaning glass doors at the back of the house, washing up after supper, helping to cook etc. He is also responsible for putting away his own clean laundry, keeping his room in a reasonable state and keeping the small front porch clean and tidy.

Sounds a lot but he has no jobs on Sunday or the two weekdays he has clubs and no jobs take longer than 10 mins.

The front porch is basically a quick sweep and wipe of the floor, chucking shoes and boots in the shoe bench and throwing away junk mail. He needs to notice when this needs doing without being told.

In return he gets £70 a month in his bank account.
£10 for his phone,
£20 pocket money,
£40 dinner and travel money.
This gets docked if jobs are not done or not done well for no good reason.
He is able to walk to school and take sandwiches from home if he wants to save and can also earn extra money through other jobs.

At first he caned all his cash on sweets, downloads and games in the first week. When we refused to bail him out he got the hang of it pretty quickly.

He loves having a bank account and debit card which he can use at cashpoints and to buy things from Amazon etc. Has made him much better at saving cash as he can see his balance rather than just notes and coins to swap for sweets!

Arcticwaffle Mon 12-Nov-12 19:38:33

12 and 11 yo dds do a chore a day (emptying dishwasher/taking bins out/hanging up washing/vacuuming the living room).
Plus they have to tidy their bedrooms once a week and put out dirty washing.
Plus clean out their pets when needed.

For that they get £5 a week, which they consider loads but it's supposed to cover things like Christmas presents, drinks or snacks when out, phone top-ups, more than primary pocket money did.

They are quite good really, they also will cook on average a meal a week, cos they both like cooking, and they cook for themselves if DP and I are late back from work or busy in the early evening.

pmgkt Mon 12-Nov-12 19:49:34

i expect dsd's (12 & 9) to help clear the table and either help with the dishes or load / unload the dishwasher depending on how many there are. They stay for 2 nights and do the dishes one day each. I expect them to tidy their room and make their beds etc before they go home, and keep things under control in their room while they are here. i also expect them to tidy up after themselves in the rest of the house, by putting either own things away. ds1 who is only 2 cries if i dont let him help with the dishes, load and unload the washing machine or if i put something in the bin myself. im sure that will change. None of them get any pocket money, i work on the basis that i clean and cook its just respectful to help out a little in return.

Flippityjig Mon 12-Nov-12 22:51:38

Thanks for all the replies.

Today we had a breakthrough. Dd had decided she wants to save her pocket money which led us nicely into a discussion about chores. So we've drawn up a list of stuff we expect her to do (make bed, set table, clear table and put in dishwasher, tidy room, clean hamster cage, strip bed for washing) and raised her pocket money to £2 per week and also have a list of extra chores she can do or we might ask her to do that we would pay extra for like washing the car , hovering the car etc.

We will see how it goes.

Flippityjig Mon 12-Nov-12 22:52:50

Sorry, that should read hoovering

NotMostPeople Tue 13-Nov-12 12:55:26

Mine all get £5 per week. They have to clear the table, load and empty the dishwasher for the evening meal between them. They have sole responsibility for keeping their bedrooms tidy including changing bedding (I do have to remind) and they each have to do one other job like hoovering/mopping / cleaning the hob per week. The youngest is 9 the oldest 13. The oldest and middle also have their mobiles paid for.

In general they are expecting clear up after themselves, I am a sahm not a servant and I expect to be treated with respect by everyone in the family.

Beanbagz Tue 13-Nov-12 16:20:27

DD is almost 11.

She helps set/clear the table and stack/unstack the dishwasher. Last week she made dinner for all the family (Thai stir fry & rice) and will often help me with the cooking.

She also had to make her bed, tidy her room (before the cleaner comes), put dirty clothes in the laundry and put away clean/ironed clothes.

I also expect my 7 year old DS to do the same though he's not so keen on the cooking.

specialmagiclady Tue 13-Nov-12 17:28:23

I think the thing with chores is they have to be easy to repeat. e.g. make beds every day, tidy toys etc every night, do xyz every saturday so that everyone knows where they are and YOU can remember to do the nagging.

Also good if there can be some kind of consequences if the jobs aren't done. For example, if my 7 & 5 yo DSs don't make their beds in time they go to school without breakfast* (they have 90 minutes to do it and this has happened TWICE in their lives..Most mornings they do it in 10 minutes.) They have to feed the cat and most nights tidy up the lego explosion playroom.

I have a really useless elder brother (my mum was still stirring his tea aged 38) and I am not raising boys like that.

*this is a really extreme example, but just maybe less pocket money or "sorry as you couldn't help me on Tuesday I can't help you get to your friend's house today".

Also, someone once told me it takes 100 times for a child to learn to do something without nagging. That gave me patience for the long haul...

hoodoo12345 Tue 13-Nov-12 17:55:53

My 11 year old:
Makes her bed,
tidies her room,
sorts and puts away her own laundry,
clears her own dishes away,
feeds and cleans out her pet(ferret)

Mimulet Tue 13-Nov-12 18:00:16

For what its worth I think all pre teens need to help around the House. I say that because for one, they need to understand the value of money. After all, we all work for it ourselves! and secondly, they have to learn how to look after themselves for when the day comes that they have to leave the nest. Kind regards.

3b1g Tue 13-Nov-12 18:09:51

I expect them all to tidy up after themselves, keep rooms tidy, clear their own dirty dishes after meals, put away own clean laundry etc. They all have to help cook the evening meal once a week. Whoever doesn't cook has to take turns either cleaning dining table & sweeping floor, wiping kitchen surfaces & sweeping floor, or washing up pans. They all have to change their own sheets / pillowcases / duvet covers (the eight year olds get help with the last). The twelve year old also empties the dishwasher at weekends and is capable of doing s load of laundry when asked to.
On top of these basic expectations, they sometimes offer to do extra jobs for small amounts of money, such as washing the car or mowing the lawn (only the eldest can do the latter as it's a heavy push mower).

racingheart Tue 13-Nov-12 18:37:22

MY DC are 10. They tidy their rooms every week and hoover them every fortnight, strip their beds, put away laundry that I've folded and sorted and do some very basic clearing the table. (Walking 2 yards to move dishes from table to kitchen worktop!)

But I don't link these jobs with their pocket money. They're expected to do them because it's their home so they have a vested interest in keeping it nice.

They get £3 a week.

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