overweight 10 year old(22 Posts)
My DD is overweight and has been since a toddler. As a baby she had a large tummy and it has grown with her.
I have sought help/advise from doctors, dietitians and pediatricians. All have agreed she is overweight/obese. She has no medical problems that they can diagnose (had blood tests) and basically I am told to continue with current diet/exercise and eventually she will grow into herself. I keep saying that this is not happening and no one will listen to me.
I have kept food diaries, tried cutting out food groups in case of an intolerance, but nothing has helped. Everyone I have seen says her diet is fine and portions are not to big.
As for exercise she is fitter than most her peers. She goes dancing, plays cricket and Netball, goes swimming and to the ice gym. Most nights she is doing an activity. At weekends we go out on our bikes or is taking part in one of her activities.
She is fit and well, is never unwell and has 100% attendance at school.
I just can't understand why/how she carries so much weight. She has just returned from a week residential with school, which was activity based. But she has definitely put on more weight. If I don't keep a tight control on her diet and exercise she would balloon. I explain this to doctors/dietitians, but feel they ignore my concerns or don't take me seriously (i'm convinced they think she is on a Mac Donalds type diet).
If she sat at home eating rubbish, watching TV, I could accept it easier and understand why she carries the weight, but I honestly have no idea.
The problem is that as she gets older she is aware that she is larger than her peers. She also recognizes that she has a healthier diet (they compare packed lunches). Tonight she has been in floods of tears and asking why she is the way that she is? I just don't know what to say or do anymore.
I was very very chubby at 10. I grew a LOT at 11 and became very long and thin.
My dn has been overweight all her life. However she is now 16 and the weight is just disappearing. She is tall and thin now.
I don't have the answers, but I thought this might help.
Thanks Orangeandlemons, I have had lots of friends say the same and it's what the doctors say. I hope that if we stick with a healthy diet and exercise it will eventually sort itself out and she will have developed good habits to take into adult life.
It doesn't help the here and now. It's almost impossible to get clothes to fit and she is becoming self conscious.
She is very popular at school and the various clubs she attends, she is a lovely child who is kind and considerate. I know deep down it causes her distress and as her mum I would love to help her.
Are you or her dad 'big boned'? one of my DDs friends was a really chubby child. Her mum is like a sparrow, her dad is a viking (from Denmark). Guess who's genes she got?
The last time I saw her, she was growing into it if that makes sense. Her mum had had her at the doctor, dietician etc. They all gave the same advice.
Time is necessary. It was hard for her, she was at least 20cm taller than the biggest boy in the class and much rounder.
Unfortunately, she used her bulk to intimidate people and was very unpopular. That doesn't sound the case with your DD.
Neither her dad or me are what you would describe as petite, I would describe us as average/slightly above average build.
I weigh heavier than I look, wear size 10/12 but overweight on charts. Friends are always amazed when we discuss weight. Because of this weight does not bother me, it's more the issue of getting clothes to fit her and she is becoming self conscious.
She is not tall, same height as most of her peers, smaller than some. She does have a petite face (not round/chubby like other over weight children) and I think if she lost weight would be petite, MIL is petite.
What is strange is that all her weight is round her tummy, if she were an adult you would describe her as an 'apple'. Dressed in good fitting clothes (when I can get them), she does't look as overweight. Her weight is not evenly distributed like other children.
I guess I will have to just give her time and take heart that she is fit and healthy, has lots of friends and generally is a very happy child. I would love her to grow into herself before secondary school, because I am concerned about potential bullying then.
What does your Dd eat ? Can you list it here ?
My dd isn't overweight, but is tall & also has a tiny bit of a tummy, so I've been keeping an eye on her food & portions.
Her diet is something like this.
Large bowl of porridge for breakfast + milk & squeeze of honey
1 round of cheese sandwiches/salad or cucumber, yogurt stick, apple
Some nuts after school or apple/pear/plum
Tea is something like sausages/fish fingers /spag Bol/pasta with homemade sauce/jacket potatoes/casserole.
Diluted juice & yogurt.
At the weekends we have roast dinner & I usually make a proper pudding.
We also have cooked breakfast on Sat/sun.
They don't eat crisps/choc/squash/sweets, although I do make the odd cake for after swimming lessons !
Her Diet is very similar to your dd Willowwisp.
Breakfast : Porridge (by the individual sachets so one portion). Or cereal like two weetabix or shreddies.
Snack: Fruit at break time at school i.e. apple, two satsummas, kiwi or pineapple.
Lunch: Sandwich (ham or chicken), Cucumber and pepper, low fat yoghurt and fruit. (sometimes I will do a pasta or rice salad or crackers with low fat soft cheese to replace the sandwich).
Snack: Fruit. Sometimes a plain biscuit e.g digestive. Or if I have baked banana or blueberry muffins.
Dinner: Sausage with sweet potato and carrot mash, Sheppard pie, casserole, chilli or spag bol home made, baked potato, fish fingers, home made chicken and apple burgers, pasta bakes, Cod, smoked haddock, salmon, curry home made. we have veg i.e broccoli, carrots, butternut squash, cabbage, beans, salad etc as a side every night. When we have fish it's usually with cous cous and veg or salad.
On a Sunday we have a roast and I will cook a pudding i.e. apple pie or crumble.
She eats a very varied diet, she has a small plate so know portions are not to big. When I completed a diary for pediatrician I weighed everything and was told portion size was fine. I am very lucky because she enjoys most foods including fruit, veg and salad which I can use to bulk out her meals. I do limit the carbs she has and try not to feed her huge portions of pasta, potato or rice in the evening.
We do not eat sweets, chocolates or cakes at home. When she attends activities I send her with a drink and the snack she would usually have after school.
DD takes part in active activities four evenings per week, these include dancing, swimming, cricket and netball.
She dances 10am - 2pm on Saturday and plays netball Sunday. We go out on bikes over the weekend and during the holidays.
She does have the odd treats at parties and has a biscuit at Brownies. I would not want to stop her attending parties or ask her not to have a biscuit at Brownies, it would not be fair for her to be different form her peers.
Perhaps you could cut her potions back a bit each week ?
It's difficult, I was a chubby child & I hated it & it stays with you (fairly slim 40+ now !) forever.
The only thing I can think of is working out how many calories & then putting them into myfitnesspal to see what she is eating. Whatever you do, don't let her know & don't give her a complex.
There was an interesting article in last mths Easy Living mag about a mum who put her daughter in a diet. I think it was the right thing to do, but I don't think keeping on at her daughter (I think she 7) was quite right.
Btw how tall is she & how much does she weigh ? My dd is 146cm & weighs 72.5lbs.
Ah Tinks - you could be describing my lovely grd-dghtr who is now 12. Until she was about 7 she was a normal weight but since then she became overweight and is still the same at 12. None of us can really understand it aslike your daughter she does not eat junk food, and she is very active. She too is fat around the tummy and is very conscious of the tops of her arms that are quite fat for her age. She won't wear anything with short sleeves unless it is really hot. Think it could be in the genes as her mom is overweight but I can't understand that because she doesn't overeat. Like your girl, my dgd is conscious of it, and to make matters worse she now has teenage type spots and is conscious of those too. We have tried all sorts of products but nothing works. Her mom is taking her to the GP as anti biotics sometimes help.
However like your daughter, she is a lovely caring girl (gives half of her pocket moey to the WWF (tigers) and loves animals of all sorts. She has lots of friends and is always invited to parties, sleep overs etc.
I think really we should be glad that out girls are healthy because there must be hundreds of young girls waiting for transplants and who have cancer and god knows what, so let's be thankful for our lovely healthy girls.
Is there any she drinks lots of fruit juice rather than water? This was a problem for my DD at one point.
Just found this thread looking for advice about my 6 year old. It is reassuring, as I am having exactly the same problem. She eats a very similar diet to your daughter and is very active - she is NEVER still! However, she does enjoy food, and eats every scrap which is put in front of her. I blame the genes. I am size 10 and eat what I want, however dh is overweight and virtually has to starve himself to lose it. I suspect she has the same metabolism and, like him, she is tall and solid too. I am considering going to the gp for advice, but I guess they will all tell me the same you have been told. No answers for you I'm afraid, but I hope it is reassuring that there are others with the same problem. Also, like you no one really seems to listen to me when I worry about it and just tell me she's fine - which doesn't help much!
Does she have big feet? My DDs doctor told me that children with big feet who also appear overweight or are heavy can be put down to genetic makeup and with a healthy/active lifestyle, they should grow into their feet. This proved correct for my DD who was always twice the size of her peers and now, although tall (5'7" and 12 years old) and with size 7 feet, she's very slim and fit. Apparently, children with small feet who are chubby are carrying too much fat and you need to cut down on the food they eat or portion sizes.
My DSIS ate less than me as a child and has always been overweight and still is.
She certainly doesn't over eat, never has and it's 30 miles to macDs.
She wasn't as active a child as me, but my bit of cycling and the odd swim in the river couldn't possibly account for the difference in our sizes.
DM is a large lady too and she eats less than any of us and doesn't even have a sweet tooth.
Sometimes life isn't fair.
I have similar issues with my 9 year old. She is chubby and getting chubbier, but she does over eat and she sneaks food - sometimes she seems insatiable. She does swim twice a week and they play well after school on bikes and generally active. She tells me she's fat (but shes' on the normal curve for 91st centile height/weight.
The sad thing for me is that I was always a tall and heavy kid (currently 5ft 8 and 11st 5lb and 43 years - and hating myself) and was always made to feel big and abnormal by parents and anyone who ever tried to pick me up! (lots of 'ands' in there sorry!) I was 5ft 8 at 11 years and that was unusual for a girl back then, so clothes were an issue. Worse still my mum was always on a diet, but 5ft 4 and 8st 7lb, so no wonder I felt like a freak. I've been trying desperately not to repeat the mistakes of my childhood, but they seem to be haunting me already. I don't want to make food/diet or her weight/health an issue like it was made for me, but I don't know how to be normal around food so I always seem to end up reacting wrongly.
My advice for you, based on my painful journey, would be to continue to focus on having fun, exercising and being a positive role model, but not on every minute detail of her diet. Tell her she'll be tall and beautiful and think of positive words like 'statuesque' if she'll never be a petite girl. I tell my girl - "Your're going to be taller than me: a blonde six footer. You'll walk into a room and command it"..
On clothing, I've started making dresses for her and she loves them because the lengths/waists are much better when they're made to measure. For one thing they fit and for another they're unique. She loves hats, so I let her have a whole load of them to give her outfits character and that gives her confidence. Anyway, hope that helps x
Are the doctors concerned Tinks? If not, then I would not worry excessively. It sounds like you are following sensible eating and exercise habits.
As she is only 10, I do imagine that she will grow into herself once she hits puberty.
I can imagine what you are going through . I have the same problem very stress , she is 9 very sportive I ll watch her but she still put on weight. Her dad was chubby when he was young until 20 year old and lost weight I am really petite . I presume its big bone hopefully she will lose the weigh when she grow up can go to the gym and exercise more .
I have this with ds who is 10. When he was 8 I used to have to buy M&S school trousers as they were the only ones I could pull the adjustable waist band in all the way without them looking ridiculous, now I have to get him plus fit trousers.
He jumped from between 50th-75th centile (which he has been all his life) to the 91st centile over the 6 week summer holidays when he was 9. He was out running around daily in the garden, bike riding etc and I am a SAHM so I fed him every day and watched him balloon!
His portion size didn't increase, nor did he eat junk food and yet I couldn't believe that he was just growing so quickly and not really gaining any height. We are now over a year on and his weight has hardly increased at all but he has grown height wise.
My MIL can totally sympathise as she is a petite 5'2 and 8 1/2 stone, my FIL is 5'7" but I don't know his weight, my DH apparently shot up to his staggering 6'3" height in his teens. My MIL was buying new trousers every half term for him. So Dh stands at 6'3" with a 50 inch chest and used to play rugby where other players refused to tackle him in secondary school as they feared they would snap.
Seeing ds1 is like seeing a mini Dh. He wears aged 14 boxers as he has a right bottom on him. And he is clearly going through puberty with body hair and stinky pits He has size 3 1/2 feet, there is a boy in his year 6 class who has size 6 feet!
I do believe that some children just need to grow into their bodies. As long as no-one is worried about her portion size or current weight, I would just keep an eye on her. Clearly you know how to dress her to hide anything she is upset about.
One thing I notice is the low fat options you choose. Ie low fat yogurt/ cheese. You really should just use regular full fat options as many just take healthy fat out and replace with lots of sugar/ sweetners
Age 9 with size 5 shoe size. Noticeably taller and bigger than her peers, and a very round face. Trying to cut-down portion sizes but hopefully she will start to grow out of it soon?
I'm new to mumsnet and this is my first time commenting on a message board so forgive me if I do or say anything wrong here.
I also have the same problem, my daughter is also 10 and over weight. She has always had a slightly biggish build and bit of a round tummy but it was never something I worried about as she was a similar weight to a lot of her friends and never stood out as being an over weight child. This past year however she has piled on a lot of weight to the point where I'm having to buy her adult clothes. She is very active, she does gymnastics and dancing and is always running around with friends doing handstands etc. She walks miles without ever complaining or getting out of breath. She has a good appetite but the food I cook is heathy and i limit treats. She is not eating any more than she did before so I don't understand the weight gain at all.
One thing I'm thinking is her moods have changed a lot this past 6 months (kevin like tantrums, door slamming, I hate you type stuff) she has never had bad moods before. She often crys after answering me back and gets upset and doesn't know why she has been so moody. The other day I noticed that a few little hairs were growing under her arms so I'm wondering if the weight gain along with mood swings and hairs could be linked with the start of puberty? Is this something that may be happening with your daughter too? I have read that girls can often gain weight in puberty just before periods start. Maybe you could ask your doctor if this is a possibility and I think I will talk to my daughters doctor too. I really empathise with you on this one as it is so upsetting seeing your child over weight and also feeling like other mothers are judging you. I hope you get some answers. x
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