DD 11,making up stories about herself/struggling with friends(4 Posts)
My 11 DD has just started High school. we knew that it would be difficult as she is dyslexic and was worried that people would think she was thick. She is quite immature for her age and not at all "cool". I don't have a problem with this but i feel that the combinationof everything is making her quite vulnerable. A few days ago a nice girl I she knows told me she was sorry to her my DD had OCD. I said she was talking gobbildygook and the only thing she has OCD about is eating seets. The other child ws clearly embarassed. i later spoke to my DD who said it felt like she had OCD(I think she is just a bit controlling)understandbly but I tried to talk to her about making stories up and the consequeces. She has been really clingly to me all weeek adn this morning i discovered,she has cut her own hair at the front, she denies tis but cleraly it is true. I knw many kids have difficulties with friendships , how can i help mke her feel secure enough to stick to the truth and believe inherself a little bit more.
Lying could just be a phase she is going through. TBH I wouldn't have told the other child that my DD was talking nonsense as my DD would then feel undermined and if she's feeling vulnerable she needs to feel supported. She may well be making things up for attention from friends - a lot of girls of this age do - they seem to almost compete with each other for friends.
Unless the lies are huge and involve others, I would largely ignore them, but pay her loads of attention when she tells the truth about things no matter how minor they are.
Sounds like she needs a confidence boost (as so many kids do) - are there any clubs either in or out of school that she would be interested in? My DD's school have a lot of lunchtime and after school activities for a whole range of things. If she can get involved in doing something she enjoys, she may meet other girls and boost her confidence.
I hope it turns around for her and you soon.
Thanks for that FernieB. I was really caught on the hop by the other child. If I had had time to think about it,I might have just thanked her for her concern and left it at that. As it was, i tried to make light of it and now I have to hope that this other child just lets it go. I appreciate what you say when you mention my child could be undermined by what i said, but I am concerned that she is getting into the habit of telling lies and almost creating a new reality for herself. I know why she would like a new reality, the one she has is a bit difficult and wearing for her. My dd does have a number of activities which we support and has joined some lunch and after school clubs of her own accord. The main problem is that she is a bit in other childrens faces. Most adults love her energy and exuberance, children just seem to fine it a bit annoying. I dont want to change her, i just want her to be happy and at the moment she is not.
Apologies for the spelling etc in the last post, DD came in the room when I was about to read it over, for seets read sweets.
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