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How do you know when its necessary to step in

(12 Posts)
lakia Tue 16-Oct-12 09:34:37

Ds came home yesterday in a rotten mood he is aged 11 in senior school.
Apparently some of the boys had been playing a game which would involve punching each other.
It turns out that one lad now keeps punching ds in the arm really hard and ds says it is hurting him.
Ds was hysterical at all of my suggestions such as tell him to stop I don,t like this game anymore, tell the teacher, etc. Ds was very aggresive with me and was screaming at me to tell the head of year.
However my concerns are he is in senior school perhaps he is overreacting and he needs to fight his own corner, maybe it will make things worse if I speak to the head of year, maybe my ds needs to toughen up and I don,t want to baby him now he is in secondary.
How the hell does one know when they should intervene or not please.
What would you do.

brandnewnickname Tue 16-Oct-12 16:47:08

I have a son in Year 7 and if he came home really upset that someone was repeatedly punching and hurting him then I would contact the school. The only circumstance in which you might want to think twice about contacting the school is if you know that your son has a habit of exaggerating or overreacting, but otherwise I think you should contact someone at the school.

Bunbaker Tue 16-Oct-12 22:28:47

If someone was repeatedly hitting a child of mine I would report it. The other child is relying on your son not telling anyone. I understand you don't want to baby your son, but I think there are occasions where you need to step in and this is one of them.

ChristmasKate Tue 16-Oct-12 22:34:22

Silent intervention, don't tell your son and when you call the school let them know he doesn't know and don't make to much of it at this stage and see if that helps.

That's what I would do.

ripsishere Wed 17-Oct-12 02:42:01

Christmas Kate has the right idea. It's the same one I used when a boy was running up behind DD and punching her with the bit of his arm between his wrist and elbow in the back of the neck.
It soon stopped.

Bunbaker Wed 17-Oct-12 08:45:39

I agree that silent intervention is best.

lakia Wed 17-Oct-12 16:49:06

Okay thanks alot all.
Today ds was punched twice in the kneecap by this boy and says he ended up in medical.
I took the decision today to contact the school as I feel this has definately overstept the mark however its a large school that aslo serves as a community centre and it was press this press that okay will transfer you through to the appropriate number after all that I ended up having to leave a message so am still waiting.

Bunbaker Wed 17-Oct-12 19:50:03

Does the school not have a learning mentor, tutor or head of year for each year group? Can you email them instead?

Fizzylemonade Sun 21-Oct-12 08:14:10

Any update on this Lakia? How is everything now? Have you managed to contact anyone?

lakia Sun 21-Oct-12 11:58:30

I actually emailed his form teacher.
She knew straight away which boy I was on about as he has been doing it to two other boys and they have had other complaints.
The lad is been dealt with now and ds tells me that on friday the boy concerned never touched him once and was actually been nice to him.

Dinglebert Tue 23-Oct-12 10:14:57

My friend's son once had this problem and so as not to make the bullying worse, the school told the bully that he had been overseen by someone who reported him.

Also have a son in yr 7 and would step in at this stage

Fizzylemonade Sun 04-Nov-12 08:26:34

I am really pleased this worked out. I like it when threads get updated as if someone comes looking for advice on a similar problem they can see how it worked out.

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