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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

Moving with pre-teens, country and school

12 replies

AdoraBell · 28/09/2012 17:36

We may, if we sell the house here abroad, be moving back to the UK. DDs (both 11) don't remember the UK and we'll be going somewhere new for me, no friends or family in the area. OH is likely to continue working abroad. Does this sound like the nightmare I imagine it to be? I'm not being silly am I? this really is going to be a problem, isn't it? I'm okay with making friends because I've had to be, DDs are fretting about never having friends again, like never

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ripsishere · 02/10/2012 03:32

Me and DD did that two years ago. She'd never lived in the Uk so it was a total novelty. DH stayed on in Belgium to finish his contract.
DD settled very well into her new school, she made plenty of friends including one who she was very upset to leave when we moved to Malaysia last month.
Currently, she has two BFF who she never wants to leave
My experience is that children are fickle.

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dabdab · 02/10/2012 12:46

We moved when DDs were 8 and 10 (from city to town, within same country -didn't know anyone here). It has worked because of several reasons: I didn't have to work for first year and thus could put a lot of energy into facilitating friendships (meeting parents, facilitating play dates etc), the school we chose is a good school, so that transition was fairly easy, we all spent time getting to know area, neighbours etc together at the weekend.

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AdoraBell · 02/10/2012 18:40

Thanks both, it's good to hear that your DCs have made a good transition. At the moment we're all up in the air and so I'm trying to cover all bases and get things straight in my head.

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Hanleyhigh · 02/10/2012 18:45

Have just moved areas and schools with dc 9 and 10 - TBH thinking about it and anticipating it was far worse than actually doing it. DC made friends within days and now it feels like we've been here forever.

We've also spent our weekends walking round the area and visiting local places, we've been to all school events going and the school were very flexible with their transition arrangements.

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AdoraBell · 08/10/2012 02:30

Thanks Hanley it's good to hear that moving was easier than thinking about moving. I think my main problem is not knowing yet whether we'll move to UK or Spain, or even if we will move ! Either way everything will be new.

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deleted203 · 08/10/2012 03:35

Can I ask why you are moving to an area in the UK where you have no family or friends if DH is still going to be working abroad? Could you not move somewhere in UK where you have a support network? (If you do come).

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AdoraBell · 09/10/2012 02:28

Hello sowornout, simple really, I have no support network anywhere in the UK really, my parents are both deceased, sister disabled and friends are here in Chile or scattered across the globe. So, no reason to return to central London when we don't need to be there for work. ILs are toxic so moving close to them would be worse than starting afresh.

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FernieB · 09/10/2012 15:15

We moved back to UK last year (me and my 11 year old twin DD's) and my OH is still working overseas. It's working fine for us. DD's were worried about not having friends again but within weeks they had a lovely group of friends and were involved in several clubs etc. We did move back to where I came from, so knew a few people, but lots had moved on themselves so I have been starting from scratch friend-wise. So far it's all been good.

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deleted203 · 09/10/2012 16:15

Oh, ok, Adora. I assumed from your post that you were originally from UK and had presumed you still had some links to the country. I can understand now that it doesn't really make any difference where in UK you go. No advice in that case, but best of luck with wherever you move to.

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AdoraBell · 09/10/2012 21:16

Thanks sowornout. We are from UK originally, just been abroad so long and so much has changed that it doesn't feel like "coming home" to Britain now.

Thanks for all your reassurances about DDs and friends.

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deleted203 · 09/10/2012 23:45

Can we ask whereabouts in UK you might move to? (County at least)....might be a MNetter who would be able to meet up with you and offer a friendly cup of coffee to welcome you back to UK at least?

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AdoraBell · 10/10/2012 02:32

Ha, ha, depends on many factors, in short I have no clue at this stage. I will bear your suggestion in mind though, it's a good idea, thank you.