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Need help with DS, 11....

(12 Posts)
januaryjojo Fri 07-Oct-11 10:19:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Fri 07-Oct-11 11:16:52

Brilliant, someone has lots of time sitting around making fake letters.
Has he always been difficult or is this a new thing? what were the sanctions for?
why is he so angry about the after school detention? will he be missing out on something he likes?

thisisyesterday Fri 07-Oct-11 11:19:29

i would call his bluff then

tell him it's awul that this is happening and that you are going to arrange a meeting with his head of year, he will be coming along too, and you will get it all sorted out and he can explain to HoY that it was this other boy with the same name!

thisisyesterday Fri 07-Oct-11 11:20:14

or another thought... is he quite immature for his age?
when i was that kind of age I used to deny things a LOT. I think because I didn't want them to be true.
do you think he is struggling at school? and if he denies it enough he won't have to do it?

januaryjojo Sat 08-Oct-11 15:49:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday Sat 08-Oct-11 16:50:48

does he have any kind of SN?

AnyCorpseFucker Sat 08-Oct-11 16:54:55

Love, this sounds a lot more than just a cranky 11 yo playing up

Could you arrange a meeting with his head of year and see what, working together, you can do to help him settle down ?

januaryjojo Sat 08-Oct-11 16:54:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday Sat 08-Oct-11 19:03:00

screaming and screaming at people, at 11, I would think is fairly unusual.
the other behaviour is too tbh although may be within the realms of "normal", i don't know.

i agree that it would be worthwhile having a talk with someone at the school... explain exactly what he is like at home and see what they say.
if there is an underlying need then it's better he gets the help he needs.

I do still think it sounds a bit like he just wants it all to go away, and that he maybe just isn't coping with school in general. kids often pretend things aren't happening if they don't like them...
does he have friends at school?

Ingles2 Sat 08-Oct-11 22:05:30

well his behaviour could just be at the far end of normal, or it could be something that needs looking at... Now is the time to get yourself into school and see what the situation is.
Have you got parents eve coming up? If not, make an appt with his head of year and student support manager asap.You want to know how he's settling in, how to deal with his behaviour, what they are doing to deal with it.
Tell them exactly what you've said here.
Good luck Jojo

sevenoften Sun 09-Oct-11 08:51:48

This is unusual. It seems to be a coping mechanism generally, rather than a school problem. I think you need to find out more about this. Perhaps your GP or the school SEN/counsellor could advise.

Bellavita Sun 09-Oct-11 09:16:02

DS2 has racked up some negative points and two detentions since starting in Sept. Stuff like no homework, being silly in class. With the homework it transpired he did not understand it so thought he would ignore it and it would go away.

We now go through his planner and homework with him every evening (never ever had to do this with Ds1 yr10 although we do check his planner every week as we have to sign it).

Ds2 will argue with you - if he thinks he is right, then he is, end of!

I agree with ThisisYesterday, it does sound as if he wants it all to go away.

DS2 is much more confident than DS1 but he has found the while secondary thing overwhelming and is slowly realising he is in with the big boys now.

I would make a start by ringing and making an appt with his Head of Year and be honest about what he is like at home too.

Poor you and poor him, he sounds totally lost sad

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