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Problems with 11 YO DS

(9 Posts)
januaryjojo Fri 02-Sep-11 15:20:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CeliaFate Sat 03-Sep-11 09:14:02

I would say he's stressed - my dd cries a lot and it's usually when she's stressed about something else. It's her body's way of coping with it. He's probably feeling anxious and nervous about starting secondary school.
You need to talk to him when he's calm and agree a set of rules and sanctions.
Once you get to the bottom of what's making him unhappy you can go from there.
Good luck smile

Ingles2 Sat 03-Sep-11 09:20:17

How long has this been going on for jojo? Has he always been easy to cry or is this recent?

januaryjojo Sat 03-Sep-11 09:59:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WoofToYouTooLady Sat 03-Sep-11 10:28:35

ask GP for referral to a paed or ed psych

wigglybeezer Sat 03-Sep-11 10:49:55

Your story is VERY familiar to our family, its always special treats and occassions most at risk here too!

Don't have time to go into details but my DS1 has always been a tantrummer (and generally an anxious, glass half empty person). He was at his absolute worst during his last year at primary but had little personal insight into why he did it, we even got referred for family therapy (where they told us we weren't doing anything wrong!).

Miraculously he has improved an awful lot since starting high school, he is now in second year and is controlling his temper much better, I think peer pressure has a lot to do with it, it is not "cool" to be highly strung and he is much more motivated to fit in with his peers than his siblings. He still explodes but usually says sorry and i am able to deal with him more calmly as I realise that his bark is worse than his bite! He is like a reverse 'Kevin'.

Interestingly his brother has mild Asperger's syndrome and while DS1 doesn't I think he does have a sprinkling of AS traits, including a problem seeing things from others points of view (which doesn't come naturally to him but which he is slowly learning by experience!).

It will get better, to coin a cliche, keep calm and carry on.

jalopy Sun 04-Sep-11 10:22:22

What's he like with his dad?

januaryjojo Sun 04-Sep-11 11:15:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

timetosmile Sun 11-Sep-11 22:39:23

DS (10.5) very similar at the moment - unhappy, belligerent, flying off the handle at reasonable requests, shouting in our faces - then charging round the garden with the younger ones, whooping it up in a fantastical game that lasted for hours, and sweet-as-pie for night time story and snuggle...what is going on with them?!
Is it just 'their age'?
I am trying really hard (after a total meltdown last week) to not rise to the bait, and also to pick my battles and not insist on the last word. Its hard trying to be the 'adult' one...

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