11/12 year olds and spending money, allowances, clothes, gadgets etc etc. How do you do it?

[hatwoman]

dd is 11, starting Y7 in Sep. So far we have run a dual system of spending money and sweet money. Spending money is £2 a week. Sweet money is earned through jobs and good behaviour (and can be lost through bad behaviour). Sweet money can be transferred (ie it doesn't have to be spent on sweets - but in reality it always is). Spending money can't be spent on sweets.

But I think dd is starting to grow out of this system. Secondary school and associated freedom will probably mean the distinction between sweet money and spending money will be difficult to enforce. And she is increasingly interested in clothes, jewellery etc etc. I find it hard to regulate her appetite for clothes and associated trappings in a way that's fair (I err towards the mean). She's too young for a full blown transfer to an allowance and full responsibility for buying clothing. Has anyone had success with a half-way system? And, if you don't mind me asking the specifics, how much allowance/spending do you give and what are the rules? What does your dc have to buy out of that money and what are you willing to buy yourself, iyswim.

[pointydog]

For the last year, my 12 yr old is given £20 a month.

I buy all necessary stuff. So I buy school uniform, one goodish pair of shoes or boots for the season (eg a pair of converse and a pair of sandals for the summer - dd2 chooses them), a basic wardrobe of clothes that I term necessary, and so on.

Dd2 uses her money for bus trips to town (v cheap otherwise I might pay), cinema with friends, extra fashion clothes and cheap shoes and jewellery and bath products. Things like that.

[pointydog]

Re sweets, I'm probably too lenient with sweets. I buy them at weekends, the dds buy them when they are out and about too.

[cory]

similar system to pointy, except dd got £10/month in Yr 7 (rising by a pound/year) and I do not buy extra sweets

no chores attached as both dd and her brother have dodgy health and it would be too difficult to work out who deserved to be given money anyway at any one particular point- but I will ask them to help around the house anyway with no recompense

[aquos]

My 11yo is also starting y7 next month. He gets £3 per week spending money, I expect him to save up for his mobile top ups, but other then than that it's his to do as he wishes with.

Actually he spends very little. Not a sweetie person, not interested in clothes yet, £10 phone credit lasts him months and months ........

His 10yo sister is another matter...........

[MrsRobertDuvall]

In yr 7 mine got £15 a month.
I buy all clothes that they need...ie not extra Hollister tops or Calvin KLein pants.
I buy all toiletries.
I pay for cinema once a month if required.
Dd spends hers on hair accessories, going to Starbucks for a drink.
Ds saves his. He is buying an xbox in October with his savings.
Neither of them spend it on sweets.
Dd got £20 a month in yr 9.
They both do chores but do not get paid.

[bellaisinHawaii]

My 11yr old (yr7 in Sept) gets £20 per month to spend on what he wants.

All clothes, toiletries etc are paid for by us.

He does have jobs to do at home but it is not pocket money related. However, if any misdemeanour occurs then the money will be lost/reduced for short period.

[MrsRobertDuvall]

Poncey..I am sorting out cash cards next week for mine.
Love your name.
"spanked in Claire's accessories"........always knew there was more than ear piercing going on
I also remove £1 from dd if she uses the f word...we are £3 down this summer.

[foxinsocks]

Mine gets £5 a week but she has to do her chores

I put money on her oyster card for travel (for trains/tubes, she is free on the buses)

We have a similar system to pointy

[LynetteScavo]

I give DS who is 12 £5 per week, to spend as he sees fit.(Basically to buy himself anything I wouldn't buy him) Initially he was on a steep learning curve and it took a few weeks to realise if he spent it all on Tango then he couldn't buy anything bigger. For the past few weeks he's been saving it to buy scooter parts, and is now saving for a £250 scooter, apparently.

I will take money away for poor behavior, although I've only had to once.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

I'm interested in this - dd gets £10/month at the moment. She doesnt spend it at all, just squirrels it away, then will buy something big if she wants it eventually (brought herself a wii that way!) I sometimes will buy her a book, but other than that buy her only what she needs clothes wise.

I have no idea how much to give her for secondary school. In Primary she has always taken packed lunch, but I'd like her to have the opportunity to choose sometimes to have a school lunch or buy her own snacks. Would an extra £10/month be enough for that or would it be too much?

[Caged]

Mine gets 3.50 a weeks and a £10 top up per month. She also makes a bit on the side on bus fare in that sometimes I pick her up/collect her and turn a blind eyen to the fact she's still got the £1 each way bus fare. She's supposed to keep her room tidy and help with dishwasher, keeping place tidy.

When she started in yr 7 we opened an account with nat west that gives her a debit card and we thought we'd transfer an amount to cover pocket money, bus fare and top up but ended up giving her the cash. Actually I might reinstigate that system.

[HarrietJones]

We are looking at £20 a month incl phone costs. Dd1 is pretty good with money. Trying to cone to some deal with xh as I don't want him to think he doesn't have to give pocket money cos of the allowance but don't want him buying everything on his weekends so I look tight ( like now). He currently spends about £10-15 a weekend each on them

[timmyinatizzy]

We give my 2 DSD's (aged 12) £20 a month of which £5 goes into a savings account for when they are older. The remaining money gets spent on tat and other such useful items that last 2 minutes. We also pay for their phone contracts which are our old ones, but have unlimited texts an only cost £7 a month!

[LynetteScavo]

The gray area for me is his phone top up...I need (well want!) him to have credit in case he needs to phone me, and he never actually chats to his friends, only texts them....so he rarely needs a tip up anyway. I do pay for that, although, DH thinks DS should pay out of his pocket money. I also provide a basic phone..no iphones for DS! I will probably take a different view with DD....I can imagine her gassing all day long to her friends.

[ragged]

Marking my place! Already raised as an issue with DD (not yet 10yo, re clothes and shoes especially). I very rarely buy clothes/shoes myself, so have no idea what a normal amount of money is to spend on a child's non-school wardrobe.

[HarrietJones]

I'm looking at £10 a month for phone. Taken out of her £20

[ragged]

I'm noting down numbers to come up with something like an average for 11-12yos...includes general spending money/month for all non-essentials*:
10, 10, 12, 15, 16, 20, 20, 20, 22, 22. So median= 18, and average would be 16.70.

*includes tat, bathroom smellies, extra shoes or clothes, phone top ups (7-10/month), cheap bus fares. Sometimes depends on jobs done & sometimes doesn't. At the moment I unconditionally give my 11yo 11 quid/month, and pay top-ups for the phone when needed... so pretty similar to you all except that he barely uses the phone, so is missing out in a way.... but he'd run the phone empty if left up to him. And he can earn more doing jobs if he wants.

I'm not sure that DD will be so satisfied at the same age, though, she is a real clothes horse!

[Mabelface]

My 12 year olds earn 50p per job in the house, with a ceiling of £5 per week. I also buy £5 credit per month. The boys are inventive and today are earning extra by selling home made cookies door to door with their friends (in the local area). They also wash cars for extra money. DD doesn't seem to care about money. I buy all clothes, shoes and essentials.

[VivaLeBeaver]

Dd is 10, nearly 11. She currently gets £4 a week pocket money. When she starts secondary school this is likely to go up to £5.

At the minute I buy nearly all her clothes for her, if she sees something she wants and I think it's tat then she buys it. She also buys her own earrings, hairbands, etc.

We,ll get her a mobile for secondary school as well and while I may agree to put £10 a month on it, anymore will be down to her.

[Loshad]

At that age mine get £4/week in juniors, £5/week at secondary (at age 11/12). I pay for phones, the 10 yo doesn't have one, the 13 yo uses very little credit, the older 2 are on contract (one on a limited spend but unlimited text variety). I don't set a formal list of chores but expect help re things like putting the washer on, emptying the dishwasher.
More money can be earned by harder work chores - (more for the older 2 really) like mowing lawn, cutting hedges.
I buy all toiletries (including some very odd requests) and all school clothes and what i consider to be a reasonable amount of non-school clothes
I will pay for train fare into town (much cheaper than petrol and less hassle for me) but they have to fund cinema themselves.