My daughter is 12 and starts year 8 in September. After seeming to settle well initially, she is now struggling a bit...she has made a group of friends that seem to be very focused on clothes and appearance, whereas she is a bit of a tomboy (and doesnt take photos of herself every 5 minutes to put on facebook). She is excluded by these girls, not in a overly nasty way, but it is upsetting to see her trying too hard with them and being quietly ignored. She did start year 7 with another friend but then changed to this group half way through, her form teacher has said she didnt think this was a good thing for her. She has plently of interests outside school and still has friends from her primary (who go to a different school). I want to encourage her to seek out otherfriends....should I do this?....should I leave it alone? I grew up with very little (ie no) parental advice/support and paid the price for that, greatful for any advice form people that have been parented themselves!!!
My nightmare is for dd to fall in with the " fashionista" crowd- as with your dd it isn't her and I'd hope shed never end up that superficial. Work on the outside interests and the positives and shell develop enough self confidence to swap groups of friends I think. They are pretty friend flexible at this age usually. Interestingly dd1 (18 now) managed to go through school with a small close friendship group and then was mates with pretty much everyone without being in any " crowd" which has been a great skill for her ( could also be that she is a bit of social airhead so the fact x has fallen out with y doesn't appear on her radar- think Luna from Harry potter!)