How can I help my unhappy 10 year old?

[laurasarah]

Brief story.

We've just recently moved back to the North East (home for me) after living in Derbyshire for 5 years.

My DS1 was about 6 when we moved down there so 10 when we moved back. Now obviously she had some quite strong friendships which she left behind when we moved back. It was my choice to come back as I was very unhappy and hadnt settled at all. Anyway since we moved back shes very unhappy says she hates it here wants to move back to Derbyshire, she has no friends at her new school (have spoken to teachers and they say she is fine and she has made good friends with a girl on the estate who is lovely) its all my fault etc etc etc. How can I explain to her that things will get better and that it takes time to build friendships. All she ever says to me is its all your fault we were all happy it was just you who wanted to come back!

Everything I say to her at the moment shes grunting at full of attitude. She also wants to play on a particular WII game all of the time and kicks off when I tell her to switch it off.

Dont get me wrong I'm not a pushover of a mother and I do demand her to switch game off after a certain length of time. She just seems so unhappy all of the time.

[looneytoons]

I think she is taking a long time to settle since the move. If school say she has made a friend I would believe them. It sounds like she is trying to punish you for making her move. Could you perhaps have one of her old friends to stay in the holidays. Maybe you could help her stay in touch with the old friends by e mailing them or using the web cam. You could help her make new friends by getting her to get involved with a group maybe swimming , drama or girl guides.Once she starts to get involved in making new friends she will become happier. She needs reassurance that she can still keep in touch with her old friends too.

[laurasarah]

Thanks looneyturnes.

Actually we've just arranged for an old friend to come up over the holidays!

She does do some clubs but yes maybe I should try girl guides or something. She does keep in touch with her old friends via facebook so I think we are doing everything we can to help its just shes making me feel guilty I suppose.

Thanks for your advice looneytunes its just so difficult at the moment shes very grumpy.