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Giving my DS age nearly 10 independence and letting go

(6 Posts)
mumof2monsters Thu 16-Jun-11 10:31:54

My DS is 10 in August but he is the youngest in his year and his best friend is nearly a year older.
Anyway should I now let him go off to the village on his own or to visit friends or go to the park?

I am not an anxious parent but have to admit that I do worry about him as altho he is sensible it is some of his friends that are not.
I now let him go swimming on weds evenings but as it is a bit far from our house I drive him there and pick him up later. One of his friends walks or cycles there but lives a bit closer.

He came out of school the other day to ask if he could walk to mcdonalds with his friends. To get to Mcdonalds he does have to cross 2 busy roads and I said no. His reaction was that I never let him do anything!

As it turns out he told me that the friends that did walk there were throwing their drinks in the road and got told off by a driver. I said to him that they were not being sensible then and I had just cause to be wary about letting him go.

WE have just stayed at my brother-in-laws and his wife lets their kids who are similar ages wonder around the village and go to the park etc. I just worry about my DS getting hurt or some weirdo approaching him.

I remember when I was his age I walked home from school on my own, was out til late etc. I know I have to let go but I want to find some happy medium. Please anyone I would appreciate your advice.

crispyseaweed Thu 16-Jun-11 20:06:49

If you are not yet happy to do these things, then dont let him. Try not to worry what DS says as a result of you not allowing him the freedom he wants. Afterall if anyting happened to him you would never forgive yourself. My Ds is the oldest in his year 5 , he will be 11yrs in Sept.
I leave him in the house and pop round to Tescos as we live in the centre of town and i take my phone with me. (Its 5 mins away), but i dont think i would yet let him do what you are suggesting yet. Its the busy roads that worry me.
All kids are different and some are ready and some are not.
Maybe this time next year when he is 10 and half. ????

sharbie Thu 16-Jun-11 20:11:15

well i didn't really start letting go until they were settled into secondary school

Meow75 Thu 16-Jun-11 20:12:29

I'd be far more worried about the influence that his "friends" might have on him, tbh, or that people who know you/him or the police might think your DS is just as culpable during any silliness as the silly ones are.

He's much more likely to get into trouble that way than being snatched by a stranger. Stop seeing child-snatchers on every corner!!

highhopes2010 Thu 16-Jun-11 20:59:55

I agree with crispy,sharbie and meow. I'm in a similar situation to you OP.

roisin Thu 16-Jun-11 21:41:47

My boys have had freedom to cross roads and go some places (shops, errands) on their own since about the age of 8.

Tbh I think they are more likely to be sensible when they are ages 8-10 and have these freedoms/privileges, then continue with the sensible behaviour when they're older. If they don't have any freedom until they are teens or nearly teens, they're more likely to go wild and get into trouble.

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