Homesickness

[tillytips]

Hello,
Not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes anyway,
my daughter who is almost 12, suffers terribly from homesickness.

It started in year 3 when she was being bullied, we had minor counselling in year 6 through the school, to help her with her shyness and standing up to her bullies. This was successful for a while and she even managed to go on her school residential trip last summer. However recently it has come to the fore again and she can't stay anywhere with her friends.

the last three occasions she has tried to stay overnight, we've had to collect her at some god almighty hour because she's in a state. Not that we mind collecting her of course, but it's a fecting her friendships as her more confident friends just don't get why she is like it.
Last night she was invited out, but literally no word of a lie i dropped her off at 5.30 and at 5.50 i had a call to say she was in a state. I don't know what else to do to help her. I'm always encouraging her to go, and she always wants to go, but the reality soon sets in and she panics. She's also like this when we are on holiday as a family, within three days of a holdiay she gets tearful, althought to a lesser degree as we are with her.
Any advice appreciated.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

I've got no advice whatsoever. It all sounds very distressing for your DD.
Is she happy to accept the invitations or are you pushing her to do it. I understand why you would TBH. But admit to struggling to understand why she would agree to something virtually knowing that she will dislike it.
Do you have any other children?

[tillytips]

Hello,
Yes my son is 16 and has no issues staying anywhere. I always ask her what she wants to do, she always says Yes, she wants to go, i've never once said "right you're going and that's that". She is always excited, this is what i also can't understand, but within hours of getting there (minutes last night) she starts to get anxious.I imagine it's because she doesn't want to be left out.

I have this posted on the behaviour thread as i wasn't sure where to post it this morning,so there is a little more info on there. i can see where it has stemmed from, but how to get over it is the issue!

[highhopes2010]

I was like that as a child-even when family were with me but we were staying away from home.Even at 12.I don't know why?but when I turned 14 I wasnt as bad but still got homesick if I was staying at friends round the corner.then when I turned 16 my parents hardly saw me as I was constantly staying out and loved it.I don't know if its because I had a lovely mum,dad and brother and a really stable home life and felt a bit out of my comfort zone being out of it but thats the only reason I can think of?my ds10 is like that now but he just flat out makes excuses to friends so he doesnt have to stay out.he rang me from his friends at 1am once and I stayed on the phone till 2am while he found a book in pals b.room and whispered reading it to me. but has refused offers from different friends since then.I think he'll grow out of it like I did.