Temper tantruming 10 YO DS

[bloodychildishifuaskme]

Hi, starting to get to the end of our tether with DS (not so D) and his temper tantrums.

Nothing is his fault, he never does anything and then cries and temper tantrums.

He is currently having another tantrum because he had has x-box taken away last week for his horrendous behaviour and wants it back.
Apparently he can't behave himself unless he gets what he wants.
I.e,
He'll be good if he gets his x-box back for example.

This has been an on going problem for a while and now I would quite happily put him in care, I've had enough.

I've had enough of it all being my fault or someone elses fault, never his.

I will admit he has had smacks as it gets to the point where he is just screaming at you constantly and yes, we do lose it.
smacks are a last resort. he just won't stop, he isn't wrong it is everyone else.

We can't take anymore the whole family has had enough.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

He is probably entering puberty. You lucky ducky. I only have one, she is a girl but we are definitely going into the tunnel of change.
I have no suggestions at all. DD is a monster sometimes, but an angel other times. We have tried a behavior contract with zero results, punishments, rewards and shouting have had no effect either. I so recognise the not my fault. Yesterday DD was in trouble for not correcting her French homework that she spectacularly fucked up. She ended up getting 7% in a test. when she was panicking about it yesterday morning, I asked why she hadn't done it.
She said she forgot and it wasn't her fault. She has a homework diary thing that is supposed to have every bit of homework written in it.
After the bollocking I gave her, I imagine it will be noted for the next couple of weeks.
Is your DS getting enough sleep? DD goes to bed at 7.30 lights out at 8. She is up at 7, so she should be getting 11 hours a night. She really needs it and her behaviour is noticibly better if she does.

[shesparkles]

OP your ds sounds scarily like mine who just turned 9.With mine it's not puberty, he's been like this his whole fecking life, and I'm fed up walking on eggshells around him.
No useful advice, but you're not on your own with a ds like this

[bloodychildishifuaskme]

Hi, shesparkles Yes it is all the bloody time, and not a recent thing and it is effecting others. The eggshells thing is right too.

I have an older DD and she was never like this.

As for sleep he is supposed to go to bed at 8pm and he usually the first one up at stupid o'clock.

[shesparkles]

you ARE me aren't you? If my ds had been born first I'd not have had any more and I mean it

[bloodychildishifuaskme]

Oh yes, I know what you mean.

I took him to the doctor about the behaviour last year, the response we got was pitiful, she basically said, well you are too old behave like that now aren't you! And that was it, well cheers that really helped......not!

Though I may give it another go???? Dunno.

[shesparkles]

I've sometimes wondered about going down that route, but thought of going via school....only problem being his behaviour is fine at school, no more/less than any other boy of his age. He saves it all up for home-lucky old us!

[elizimmy]

My DD, 9, is exactly the same. She has always been like it. She is rude, argumentative, aggressive and just like you say your son is. I have tried everything over the years - reward charts, consequences for bad behaviour, smacking, shouting, time out, been to the Drs, you name it we've tried it! I even considered boarding school at one particularly bad point (could never afford the fees though! ) The best thing we did was to reward the good behaviour and give consequences for the bad. I've found sticking to my guns on the consequences is the most important thing, even though it's hard because it's easier to give in most of the time. We have been working with a parent family support person through the school but because, like your ds, she's good as gold at school the support has been hit and miss. It helps to talk to someone though. Just knowing there are others going through the same thing helps too. I have also tried keeping a diary of behaviour as sometimes it highlights triggers to the bad behaviour I.e. Lack of sleep, being out of routine (a big one for my DD) or worrying about something. Hang on in there!