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Am I too soppy or should I feel like I do.....which is really annoyed

(10 Posts)
birchykel Mon 07-Sep-09 18:24:28

I wonder if anyone can advise me, it was my first day back at work today and I love my job, working with children. We had so many new children, young, shy and anxious. Overall the day went well, they all settled well. Except this one girl who doesnt speak english and is only just 3, she was fine to start with but as the morning carried on she became upset and didnt want to leave my side or join in with ring games etc. I am completely ok with this and gave her lots of cuddles and showed her the routine pictures etc, she started joining in with a ring game but again wanted me to carry her as she became really upset and cried loads. I picked her up and reassured her, I suggested I sat with her while she calmed down. I was told that 'theres not enough staff to do that' and 'put her down, she has to join in'. Now ok so I can be soppy but blimey! Firstly there was enough staff, as I would have swapped with someone and the girl was obviously upset, so I ended up (gently) dragging her round in a circle!! Her first day there, no one she knows, and cant understand alot......I am so annoyed!!

Really want to just leave there....fuming!!

curlytoes Mon 07-Sep-09 22:04:50

Thank goodness there are people like you working with young children. I think so many people get stuck in a rut after years of working and forget to emphasise with the kids or parents. It's such a shame because really what's the point in working in childcare unless you really want to make a difference to the kids? It's not like the money's great!

curlytoes Mon 07-Sep-09 22:06:48

sorry that sould say empathise!!

birchykel Wed 09-Sep-09 22:00:27

Thank you curlytoes, I just dont understand people, i am so passionate about my job, I love the fact the if any of the children are sad they feel they can come to me for a cuddle and to cheer them up. my job is so rewarding but for some its just a pay check....and yes not a very good one.

People do get stuck in a rut i guess, I really hope it doesnt happen to me.

Thanx again.

NannyBeth Sat 12-Sep-09 22:12:37

birchykel - this sort of thing is why I now work as a nanny and not in nurseries!! I just don't understand why people act like that. If a child is clearly upset, what is the problem with someone attempting to calm them down?? I can accept that staffing is not great in a lot of nurseries - I worked in one where we had 2 staff with up to 10 children aged 18mths - 2... and we always cuddled and calmed them if they were upset!!

Sorry, not much help, things like this just really bug me! Could you talk to your manager/room leader about it and explain you would have swapped with someone and thought it was the best thing to help this little girl?

Foxy800 Sun 13-Sep-09 18:51:39

I too work in childcare and would do exactly the same in your shoes.

dilemma456 Sun 13-Sep-09 21:16:18

Message withdrawn

purepurple Mon 14-Sep-09 07:33:41

I work in childcare and my mantra has always been "If this was my child would I be happy with the care they are receiving?"
I really can't understand people who have no empathy with small children. I try to imagine what it would be like for me to be in their shoes; first day, little English. It makes my blood boil.
I hate it when you have made an effort to settle an anxious child, you are making headway and then someone comes along and either frightens them or speaks inappropriately to them, and you have to start all over again. AAARRRGGGGHHHH!
I feel your pain.
But it is rewarding when you see children avoiding certain people and making a bee-line for you smile

FlamingoBingo Mon 14-Sep-09 07:53:14

This is one of the reasons I don't want to send my children to childcare or school (only one of the reasons, before I get flamed!).

Fine if the adults are wonderful caring people like you, but far too many think children should toughen up and be ignored when they're sad and I wouldn't want to put young children through that.

I didn't leave DD at beavers because the leader openly told me that's what she thought (and told me I had to leave after the first session straight away!) - I talked to DD about it, and let her make up her own mind, but she agreed she felt too young to go along on her own completely. Mostly, though, I didn't trust the leader to be kind to her.

I leave her at her street dancing class though because the first time I left for half an hour the teacher rang me towards the end and said DD1 was upset. I went straight away and DD1 wasn't that upset, but had just asked for me. I (and DD1) then totally and utterly trusted the teacher to care about her and not ignore her if she was upset - consequently it's been the first place (apart from with friends/relatives) DD has been happy being left.

So thank goodness for people like you - keep at it and encourage other people you work with to do the same.

birchykel Mon 14-Sep-09 22:33:34

Thank you for all your kind comments. I do believe alot of the children who get upset come to me or another staff member who is alot like myself, it is rewarding and makes me realise I am doing something good. Since that horrid day I have seen my manager cuddle an upset child and been different in a positive way. The way I see it is I am not changing that part of me for anyone, I love children and I would hate to think of my girl upset and just being ignored or made to do something.
Good news though, the little girl I spoke of is settling well now and joining in with all sorts, she has cuddles with me at first but then jumps off my lap and goes to play. She is talking a lot more too. So at least she is ok.
I really do not feel like staying there, but the children make it so difficult to leave......

So thanks once again everyone.
K. xx

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