Another child not wanting to go to nursery

[suzi2]

DS is 3.5 and has been in nursery (5 mornings a week) since Sept. It took until Nov/Dec to get him settled, but I went very slowly and gently it seemed to work. Last term he was fine - never that into it, but still went no problem. This term he went for 3 days, but then was off ill for over a week (not unusual for him(. When he went back last monday he cried loads. He got progressively worse each day last week and cried at night before bed, and even during the night. When I picked him up he was fine and pottering along happily.

He has a whole year left - we're in scotland so he doesn't go to school until next summer.

He had a good weekend (no crying, bother, tantrums, hassle etc) but this morning he cried from 7:50am until the time I left him at 9:20am (and most likely more after that). He says he doesn't know what's wrong.

There have been some changes - several new children in the class and 2 new teachers. But I don't understand how he was fine those 3 days. I don't think he's 'playing' me. I've told him he has to go end of story and i@ve given him loads of hugs and reassurance etc.

Does anyone have any thoughts? I wonder if all the crying, and building it up is making him worse? And he'd be better with a few days off? He's usually excessively 'brave' (I rolled my car with him in it last year and he never said a word, though was scared.) so all of this is quite out of character.

[messymissy]

Poor little chap does sound like he is anxious about it - new children and teachers could be it - does he have any special friends there?
maybe too he is having a bit of separation anxiety - 5 mornings a week is still a lot for a 3.5 year old.

do they do different activities each day - could it be something he does not like or conversely a favorite activity that he can look forward to.

It would be a good idea to speak to the pre-school teachers about this before it gets worse - they are probably very used to this.
Can you make the journey there a fun part of it, could he walk there with you and one of his friends? or give him a watch set at the time you come to get him so he knows you will be there. anything to reassure him really.

[ThingOne]

Do you have the option for him to go less often? Say three mornings a week?

[suzi2]

He could go less often, but would lose the other two days to another child so if that didn't work out (ie he was worse) then we wouldn't get those days back easily. Though the nursery would be happy to trial a 3 day week for a couple of weeks I should think.

Thanks for the responses. I think it's pure anxiety. He doesn't really have any friends there - well, he knows and plays with the other children, but he's not the type to really make friends and just likes playing with his little sister. As far as I know, he doesn't have any problems with any of the children, but some are a lot bigger (just turned 5 and a foot taller, he's tiny for his age) and some are very rowdy which isn't his style really either.

activity wise, he gets nothing there that he doesn't get at home so there's nothing he particularly loves doing. He happily plays away, but doesn't really get into anything, except when they get lego out.

[ThingOne]

If the trial works out, why don't you see if he can do three days between now and Christmas, and then ask if he can do five days then? I don't think they need five days, though.

[suzi2]

He was a little better this morning. We weren't on 'friendly' terms as he had been thumping his sister all morning and I think being a little less 'cuddly' helped. He cuddled me but said goodbye and walked away before sobbing. I've had reports from other mums that one of the new boys has been picking on some others, so I think that might be part of the problem and I've mentioned it to nursery.