Don't agree with teacher's 'parents' evening' comments on ds should I say anything?

[mynewnickname]

Ds is at a school nursery. His teacher is, according to other parents too, quite a negative person and negative in her feedback on dcs.

She has said a couple of things that don't stack up re my ds. They aren't serious but they are just blatantly not right.

Should I say anything or just leave it.
He is only there two more terms and then leaves for 'proper school'. It bugs me a bit that she is off the mark with these things but I suppose as long as he's happy does it matter?

[scienceteacher]

Kids are often different at home and school.

[Littlefish]

How do you know they're not right at school? Are you talking achievement or personality things?

[mynewnickname]

Both.
One thing is that she says he 'never talks to the other children'.
My evidence:

1. I know that 3.5 year olds aren't that reliable in what they say but I sensed this wasn't wrong and ds has given me loads of specific examples of conversations he's had with other kids.
2. I asked a couple of the other mums who I'm friends with to ask their dcs who ds says he is friends with if he talks to them. Answers were resounding yes.
3. Another mum was sitting in one day and she said he was definitely talking to the others.

What is true I suspect is that he is not mega-sociable but imho she isn't right or isn't seeing what's going on enough to be able to be so blunt.

Another issue is academic but I'm putting down to the fact that she only has limited evidence so can only say what she sees so I guess that's fair. BUT it is a bit of an odd issue.

Don't want to go into details on that one as I'm worried she's a Mner!!

[mynewnickname]

doh - was wrong not wasn't wrong

[SueW]

Don't get too hyung up on it

DD in reception - a teacher commented that she preferred adult to child company. Hardly surprising - she'djustspent a year in Oz away from home, mostly 1 on 1 with me.

She's now 12yo, Y7. Latest report describes her as a popular memmber. Noot a word about being adult-centred!!

[Tortington]

they might be different at school, however i would feelcompelled to mention it.

one negative PE teacher went on and on and bloody on about dd, i let her and then i said rther pointedly, thats a shame its all negative, becuase she tells me how she much enjoys netball,

fuck me if she wasn't on the netball team the next week

[scienceteacher]

The teacher is going to tell it as it is. There is no reason for her to lie on the report of a nursery child.

You either take the information on board and file it away, or you discount it completely in the belief that the teacher doesn't actually know your child.

Unless the report is bringing up problems that require intervention, or you feel that your child has been neglected in some way at school, it doesn't really have much impact on anything.

[McDreamyingofawhiteXmas]

I wouldn't worry too much. DS moved nursery school a few weeks ago when we moved house. They wrote a report on him which I knew wasn't accurate but figured it was all DS had shown them at school.

They said he could count to 3 - I know he can count alot more than that.

They said he could identify a few colours and gave examples of about 3. DS knows most of his colours including silver and gold, dark and light colours as he is car mad and that's how he learnt them.

I would leave it. Doesn't sound you have much to worry about your DS.

[ScummyMummy]

It's rubbish when people are negative about little kids, isn't it? I'd leave it now just because I think it needs an instant response really a la custy and the netball. But understand why you're upset about it.

[SueW]

How long have you been stewing over this?

SAurely all schools have been on hols for at least last ten days?

[MollieO]

I would mention it but also in the knowledge that what the nursery see and what you know may be different.

I had a similar issue when my ds started school re what he they thought he knew and what he actually knew (huge gulf between the two). I mentioned it because his personality and knowledge at school were completely different to what they had been at nursery and I was concerned that there might be an underlying problem. Ds outwardly sociable but stores things up, eg mentioned this week something that had been bothering him two months ago (and which manifested itself in some odd behaviour at the time).

[mynewnickname]

It's exactly as Scummymummy has said - she seems to be unduly negative about all the children and I think it's rotten given they're only three or four. Honesty and a balanced view are what a teacher is there for but she doesn't seem to be doing the balanced bit imho.

How long have I been stewing ....no I haven't been really. It was something that I was a bit too busy to think about in the run-up to Christmas!
But of course it must be bugging me a bit or else I wouldn't have posted now a few weeks on.
I think I'm going to mention it in a very low key, relaxed 'not having a go at her' way, acknowledging that children's behaviour is sometimes different at nursery/ school (which I'm very aware of due to my work), but that one or two things don't sound quite right.

[Anna8888]

Just leave it. I didn't like my DD's class teacher in her first year of French pre-school (equivalent of nursery) and knew she didn't get my DD at all - resulting in some very silly comments.

Sit it out and wait until next year and hope for a better teacher.

[Anna8888]

"The teacher is going to tell it as it is. There is no reason for her to lie on the report of a nursery child."

You have far too much faith in teachers' ability to understand the children they are working with. Some teachers are fabulous and some aren't. My DD's teacher wrote on her report that "she was beginning to speak a few words of French." My DD is and was bilingual, and perfectly fluent in French at 3.5 when the teacher wrote the comment. The teacher had managed to scare DD into not speaking.

[mynewnickname]

You're both right imho in that I agree the teacher has no reason to lie but they are not infallible so get it wrong sometimes. And I think this one has got it wrong.

Ideally I'd like to swap ds's keyworker to the other teacher (who is better qualified and on all accounts more balanced in her assessments) but again, I'm not sure it's worth it given there are only two terms and it won't change anything for him really, just the feedback.

[poinsettydog]

I think you should say something just for your own peace of mind. Mybe just along the lines of 'do you have any concerns about ds's ability to socialise or was that just an observation?' Then mention how you find him to be quite sociable out of school.

But as sciencet said, it doesn't have much impact on anything if these are just observations and not noted as concerns.

[LIZS]

tbh I don't understand why you didn't query it at the time. Would seem odd to do so now unless ther is mrope to it and you feel the need for a formal review . It won't blight his record long term if at all.

[MadamDeathstarOverBethlehem]

As poinsettydog wrote, I would only talk to the teacher if you thought the comment meant that there was something out of the ordinary with your child that he might need help with either in or out of school.

If it is bugging you and you, feel you really must mention it, maybe ask her if what she said is just an observation or whether she sees it as being a problem. She might moderate her comment if she thinks you were unduly worried by it.

[MollieO]

The only concern I'd have about doing nothing would be the profile your ds's keyworker will write for when he starts school. It is better if this is an accurate portrayl. My ds's was spot on and helped me in pointing out my concerns that his behaviour at his new school was completely out of character.

[mynewnickname]

I guess I could wait a week or two into the new term and then ask if she has seen any improvement in his sociability and then if she says no, raise the points I have which question what she's said.