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How do I deal with ds1 not wanting to be left at preschool?

(8 Posts)
NOgirlsallowed Wed 24-Sep-08 20:09:51

Ds1 had his first day (morning) at pre-school yesterday. Going again tomorrow. Seemed to really enjoy his first session. Didn't even cry when I left him although it was after 3 quarters of an hours as he kept saying don't go. However all yesterday afternoon he kept saying don't leave me next time and to stay and play with me and if I go home he's coming with me! Tonight when I told him he had pre-school tomorrow he said don't go home stay and look after me. When I told him that the (preschool workers) will look after him he got really upset and said no you look after me thats your job that is!! He seemed to attach himself to the male preschool worker and had a great time with him playing with hammers and a drill. He built a house with him and then knocked it down. His names Ian and he made a point of telling me what they'd done and how much fun ds had had. Ds told me all about it later and his face when describing it says it all!
I therefore pointed out to him that Ian will be there and he will look after him. However he got very upset and is insistent that I'm not to leave him and I'm to stay etc etc. I'm a sahm and he has never been left with anyone outside the family and never on a regular basis. Any advise? He's 3 btw. Turned 3 a fortnight ago.

NOgirlsallowed Wed 24-Sep-08 20:39:22

Any advise anyone?

ConnorTraceptive Wed 24-Sep-08 20:44:10

I think this is fairly common, my advise would be to take him in, give him a quick kiss and a cheery goodbye, tell him you'll be back before lunch and then leave. Don't draw it out.

If he's happy and settled once you've left then that's a good sign. The staff will have seen this many many times and will knowhow to handle any upset

NOgirlsallowed Wed 24-Sep-08 21:23:32

Thanks! I did draw it out a bit yesterday as every time I said I'm going he said don't and clung on. I then felt very guilty and stayed!

chipmunkswhereareyou Wed 24-Sep-08 21:51:57

If it's any consolation my ds started a new preschool the other day and has been totally hard to settle and clingy, and he HAS been at day nursery part time since 1 so it's not necessarily because he's never been away from you!

jollydo Thu 25-Sep-08 19:23:56

I suppose it really depends on how much you want him to attend pre-school at the moment. My ds1 was very clear, like yours, that he didn't want to go there without me. The local pre-school weren't happy for parents to stay, so I decided that, for me, there wasn't any point in him going unless he wanted to. We could do lots of other activities together instead. You could always try again when he is a bit older, or go with him for now (if they'll let you) and see if he is happy to go by himself once he knows everyone better.

NOgirlsallowed Thu 25-Sep-08 20:45:26

Ds settled amazingly today! He went rushing off to play and I had to catch up with him to say goodbye!! When I came to collect him at the end of the session he tried to join the lunch time hand washing queue. After I explained that its time to go home now he started screaming I don't want to I want to stay for lunch I want to stay for lunch. I literally had to carry him away whilst protesting. All very embarassing but a complete turn around!! grin

NOgirlsallowed Thu 25-Sep-08 21:55:03


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