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My son has been bitten at nursery today....

(12 Posts)
winestein Mon 19-May-08 19:48:10

...properly bitten - he has a complete round set of teeth marks in his hand which are dark red and appears to have not been far off breaking the skin.

The nursery is attached to a local school. In these circumstances what should the teachers do? Should there not be some sort of written communication that I receive about the incident or is it normal that parents are just advised verbally?

Thanks!

kid Mon 19-May-08 19:49:53

I would have expected to receive an accident form, that way you know the incident has been recorded.

Perhaps you can ask if it was put in the accident book?

lazarou Mon 19-May-08 19:50:11

Did none of the staff mention it?

winestein Mon 19-May-08 19:54:27

Lazarou - yes it was mentioned - they told me the treatment they applied and that they had "punished" the other child.

Kid - I'm concerned that this is the latest in a long lond string of incidents involving this particular child. They are aware of it/his behaviour but I am not sure if it's being gone about "properly" IYKWIM

kid Mon 19-May-08 19:59:16

Then you need to write a letter expressing your concerns. I have done that twice now at my DS school because a particalar boy was giving him a hard time. He has come home with many marks on him and I got to the point that I had had enough.

If you put it in writing, they will have to act on it. Particalurly if you copy the letter to the class teacher and the head teacher. Good luck, you shouldn't have to worry about whether your DS is going to come home from nursery in one piece.

MY DS started having troubles in nursery, he is now in Year 1 and its still going on sad & angry

winestein Mon 19-May-08 20:10:39

Thanks Kid - I think I will.

It's not just my DS who is the target - it seems to be everyone who is getting thumped or pushed or "smacked" by him. The boy in question has had little contact with other children before starting nursery and seemed to have no idea how to deal with their attentions. But despite nursery saying they were aware and were working on him, the behaviour has not stopped and this biting incident where he has actually caused a very bad mark seems to have stepped it up a cog, rather than it being addressed.

Really sorry your DS is going through it. It never seems fair when they are so little does it?

kid Mon 19-May-08 20:35:39

Make sure you make a note of any injury your son comes home with. Also, if you can, get other parents who you know are going through the same thing to also record and report what has happened. It might seem like you are ganging up on the child, but its the only way you will get the nursery to deal with the problem.

I can't see how they can just ignore the problem if more than one person has complained.

Heated Mon 19-May-08 21:02:00

It's quite common in nursery. Ds was bitten a few times by his friend when they were about 2.5-3 years. Each time I signed an accident/incident slip & they explained the circumstance; they were very open and apologetic.

Although nursery have a policy of not identifying the other child, obviously at that age dcs are old enough to say who it is!

After the third occasion, dh spoke with the nursery manager. We're not fussy parents but always supportive, so they knew we were concerned.

It was the last incident. The other child was monitored very closely and we gave ds the tools of how to deal with it - speaking very loudly, "No XX don't bite/hit. It's naughty" and then to tell an adult.

Awkwardly at the next nursery event his mother confided in me about how awful ds' behaviour had been and how she dreaded collecting him fearing what he'd been up to. She moved him soon after.

winestein Mon 19-May-08 21:19:57

Heated... I realise it is common and I know it is often a sign of frustration - DS and his classmates are all around 3.6 years old. I know what you mean about not being fussy parents - I don't think I am - but I have had 2 seperate people telling me tonight (in RL) that I should have had something to sign and that the nursery should be doing more as this is not a one off. I also know that the boy in question is very young and the nursery teacher and assistants don't have eyes in the back of their head either! smile

I have spent a lot of time with DS trying to get him to understand about telling others if they are doing something he doesn't like but he doesn't seem to like confrontation. I have also been telling him that "x" is not naughty - this a word he ascribes to the child and not one I have used so I don't know where it comes from - but that he wants to be friends but doesn't know how to be, so DS needs to show him how to be friends and tell him if he does something DS doesn't like.

I suppose I just feel uncomfortable about the bite as it looks really nasty. I might just have a chat to his mum to see what nursery said to her. She does seem lovely. smile

Alexandersmummy Mon 19-May-08 21:41:09

This happened to my DS a couple of months ago, he was bitten very hard (nearly drew blood and left purple teeth marks) ON HIS FACE!!!!
I signed a sheet, which informed me of what had happened, first aid etc.
The boy who had bitten my DS was spoken to and it turned out I found later that he had done this before.
This little boy was excluded from nursery two weeks ago! He just kept on hurting others. I actually feel very sad for him as IMO he probably needs some help and support sad

PS It took about 3 weeks for my DS to look ok, he face was bruised and swollen for a while sad

Heated Mon 19-May-08 22:24:59

Hope you didn't think I was suggesting you were fussy!blush Just in our case, dh's concern seemed to be the final push iyswim that something needed to be done.

Your nursery really should be reassuring you and telling you what they are doing to tackle the situation without breaking any confidences. This is what dh sought when he saw the manager.

Also to alert them to your concerns and your awareness of what the correct procedures should be, you could ask from yesterdays 'incident' was there any paperwork/accident form you need to sign? (as if it were an oversight on their part)

winestein Tue 20-May-08 11:31:23

Alexandersmummy - that's awful! Your poor DS. I know what you mean about the other little boy too. As far as I thought, once a problem had been identified it is followed up through set protocol and procedures as a way of helping the biter/hitter/whatever.

Heated - I didn't think for a minute you were suggesting I was fussy grin I would have laughed if you had!!! That's a good idea re the paperwork. I will ask them next time I pick him up smile

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