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"mummy nursery is scary and makes me feel sad"

(13 Posts)
beautifuldays Thu 20-Sep-07 20:32:42

my ds who is 3 and just started at pre-school. he's doing 2 mornings a week, and has been ok, until today when i picked him up from nursey and he said this
what do i do???
i'm feeling very about it.

beautifuldays Thu 20-Sep-07 20:52:41


cornsilk Thu 20-Sep-07 20:53:36

My ds didn't like preschool either. Ask if you can stay for a session and see what it's like.

beautifuldays Thu 20-Sep-07 20:57:05

i have sat in on a session and i'm happy that the nursey is lovely, all the staff v lovely and nice activities, kids seem to be having fun etc, just wondering if ds is not ready for it - before now he has been at home with me all the time- it is a big adjustment. part of me thinks he's not ready but part of me thinks he has to get used to it cos he is going to school in a year

Sunshinemummy Thu 20-Sep-07 20:58:50

I would persevere. If he's been at home with you it will take a bit of getting used to but he'll probably enjoy it after a while.

cornsilk Thu 20-Sep-07 20:59:44

I made my ds stick it out but he never really liked it. Not sure if it made it easier for him to go to nursery or not, but he was fine with that. Follow your instinct.

DaphneHarvey Thu 20-Sep-07 21:09:11

Of course you are sad about it beautiful. Its a sad thing to hear. I think in all honestly he would just rather be with you all the time, but what he doesn't realise, bless him, is that he will soon have to be away from you for 3 hours every week day at nursery and then 6 hours every week day at school. It is hard for some LOs but ime it doesn't take too long for them to adjust so long as you constantly reassure that you will see them soon, not going for a long time etc. I do think it helps nursery and reception children to have spent some time away from their mum, if they possibly can. Hope he's feeling happier about it all soon.

PeachesMcLean Thu 20-Sep-07 21:19:45

Have you spoken with the staff about it?

When he's talking about days out we've had together, and I've therefore witnessed his mood all day, my son will say things like "it was a really awful day and I hated it" when he really means "one thing was a bit rubbish but apart from that it was fine". So perhaps your boy is referring to just one incident which is clouding his judgement a little? Hope so anyway. It's horrible for you to be feeling sad about this.

Happynow Thu 20-Sep-07 21:27:20

Think you have to be as positive as you can about it. Are you sure he's not picking up on your feelings? Wouldn't be sad if I were you ... 2 mornings a week is not such a stretch for a 3 year old surely?

mummypig Thu 20-Sep-07 21:29:41

beautifuldays a year is a long time in a child's development - if you think he's going to be miserable at pre-school you don't have to make him stick it out just because it might help him settle in at school when he's a year older. school is a different environment, and they don't necessarily have to go for a whole day right from the start either. My ds1 didn't go full time at school until the term he turned 5.

but on the other hand I completely agree with peaches - I know my ds1 can say very negative things like this when it's just one thing that has coloured his whole day. Perhaps a little gentle prodding will uncover what exactly was scary and what exactly made him feel sad. Presumably he was happy when you were there for the session? Maybe if you work out what prompted this comment you will be able to suggest strategies for dealing with it.

beautifuldays Thu 20-Sep-07 21:41:12

i have tried getting it out of him, but he just says "i don't like nursery" and won't divulge what it was exactly that he didn't like - i suspect it's the being away from mummy bit that he doesn't like, rather than the actual nursery. i know 2 mornings a week doesn't seem like a lot, but for a 3yo who has never known anything other than being at home with mummy all day, 3 hours must seem like a long time.
when i asked the staff how he'd been they said he seemed tired, and kept asking to go home to his bed

beautifuldays Thu 20-Sep-07 21:44:14

i have tried being as positive as i can and finding bits that he did enjoy etc, but he just keeps saying it's scary and he doesn't want to go back again.
also i'm too much of a softy and am having to bite my tongue A LOT not to say to him, ok well stay at home with me then (which is what i want to say!)blush

Lio Thu 20-Sep-07 21:54:01

I'm so sorry I don't know the answer, but wanted to extend sympathy. ds told me his nursery uniform was scary today, which had me crying in the shower (not just about this, he has a history of finding new things very very difficult). An hour later he put it on and chattered about how smart he looked. I think we are going to be on a rollercoaster with this, and I really feel for you sad

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