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if you gave preschool staff a gift at xmas and got NO thanks....

(30 Posts)
brimfull Sun 01-Jul-07 21:40:18

would you give an end of yr gift.
There are 8 workers covering the week ,only one thanked me for the gift \i gave them at xmas.
I was pissed off and vowed not to give them a present at end of yr.Am I being a bitch...would you?

expatinscotland Sun 01-Jul-07 21:45:16


i don't give gifts expecting anything in return.

hana Sun 01-Jul-07 21:46:03

of course I wouold, you don't give to get thanks

brimfull Sun 01-Jul-07 21:46:14

not even a bloody thank you?

Hulababy Sun 01-Jul-07 21:47:08

I would yes. I don't expect anything in return. Thanks are obviously lovely and it is obviously polite to thank someone for a gift. But that isn't why I give the gift.

toomuchtodo Sun 01-Jul-07 21:47:11

TBH this has happened to me too

rise above it and continue giving gifts if you want

expatinscotland Sun 01-Jul-07 21:47:15

i don't care, don't keep score and probably wouldn't have noticed, tbh.

i don't give gifts expecting anything in return.

DD1 is so much approved since starting nursery.

that counts more than any thanks they can give me on paper or verbally, IMO.

FlamingTomatoes Sun 01-Jul-07 21:47:18

You did get thanked. I am presuming you didn't buy them each a present - just one for all of them, so on behalf of all the staff, you were thanked.

Skribble Sun 01-Jul-07 21:47:53

Di they not say thankyou when it was handed over or were you expecting a thankyou card.

Hulababy Sun 01-Jul-07 21:49:20

Out of curiousit - who did you give the gift to? Was it a shared gift? Weere they all there when present? Who did thank and it what circumstances?

I think that chances are that one person was thanking you on behalf of everyone else. If I gave a shared gift I wouldn't necessarily expect all 8 to thank me seperately. TBh I would just expect the person I handed it to to say thanks.

Ceolas Sun 01-Jul-07 21:49:55

In this situation I would. You were in effect thanking them for their care and hard work with your DC. Would you expect thanks for your thanks?

The others are right. Give for giving's sake with no restrictions.

expatinscotland Sun 01-Jul-07 21:50:18

I made little gift bags for each nursery staff.

Was fun!

I don't care if they thank me or not.

Just hope they enjoy the goodies!

brimfull Sun 01-Jul-07 21:53:28

It was a seperate gift for each person ,I am chair and gave it to them at xmas party whilst we were setting up so they didn't open them.It wsa a small gift,about £4 each,not that that's what matter sbut you did ask.

Hulababy Sun 01-Jul-07 21:54:17

Did they say thank you when you handed them over?

FlamingTomatoes Sun 01-Jul-07 21:55:18

If they each had a gift they should each have said thank you.

brimfull Sun 01-Jul-07 21:55:39

They hardly looked at them-no.That's what pissed me off,ds was a bit disappointed as he's wrappped them all up.It was hectic though so wasn't expecting it at the time.

lemonaid Sun 01-Jul-07 21:57:42

Giving a gift to preschool staff I would expect to be a "thank you" gift from me for what they'd done for my DC, so it wouldn't bother me not to be thanked back. After all, if they thanked me for my thanks then on that argument I'd need to thank them for thanking me for my thanks, and then they'd need to thank me for thanking them for thanking me for my thanks, and we'd wind up still there this time next year still thanking one another, if we could keep count.

brimfull Sun 01-Jul-07 22:00:34

lol lemonaid,well they are great at what they do.But on the other hand I do loads for the preschool and never get a bloody thanks...can you tell I'm feeling resentful

hippmummy Sun 01-Jul-07 22:00:38

In hindsight maybe you should have picked a better time to hand them out so they could have paid more attention.
I assume they at least said 'thanks' when you physically handed them the gift rather that just took it from you in silence?
If so I wouldn't expect another bigger expression of gratitude aferwards.

It wouldn't stop me giving another gift.

moondog Sun 01-Jul-07 22:02:17

Quite lemon!
I give out gifts, and don't expect to be sought out for specific thanks.I'd rather they were concentrating on my kid.

I do loads for the school too.
I feel it is my duty as a parent, and again,expect no particular thanks for it.

brimfull Sun 01-Jul-07 22:02:55

Ok I will give a gift,I probably would have felt too awful not doing so.

I guess my thankless task as chair has clouded my better judgement and I know see the staff as whingeing ungrateful cows

UnConfident Sun 01-Jul-07 22:03:42

What did you buy them?

Maybe it was a very busy time to give it to them & they never had a chance to thank you after they opened them as persumably term had ended?

brimfull Sun 01-Jul-07 22:07:43

I got them candles and chocolates

brimfull Sun 01-Jul-07 22:08:11

Maybe I should up my stakes

loubes28 Wed 04-Jul-07 05:59:52

I am sick of being expexted to buy gifts.Surely they could think about the kids rather than congratulating themselves on a "fantastic "job they've done.I pay over the odds anyway

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