Consequences of missing school at under 5?

[Jf711]

Hi,

New here and a Dad not mum, but seemed the best place to ask my question. Been trawling through various threads and read conflicting answers :/

For TLDR: I’m unsure if our soon to be 3 year olds preschool place can be removed if she misses term time. And more importantly if it could affect her chances of being accepted to the school at 5. Fines wouldn’t be nice, but aren’t my primary concern.

A little background to help put my question/concerns into context:

The school is oversubscribed for both preschool and regular school. It’s a catholic school and my wife had to complete a 6 month attendance sheet for our daughter to be eligible (I’m not catholic so found it quite amusing and not really in keeping with religion).

We started our family a little later then our peers, so we could dedicate more attention and time to our children. We’re now fortunate that my wife can comfortably work part time and I often work from home with flexibility. As such we don’t need to send her to preschool.

In fact I felt it was too early and questioned wether she’d receive the same level of attention she currently does at home. She’s hitting milestones a year or more in advance, can string sentences together, count, recite alphabet, colours, etc. (I have no illusions she’s a genius, but since most people think she’s atleast 4 i’m confident she’s on track). But my wife and parents felt it’s only 3 hours a day and would help her ease into school in 2 years.

All was good until we realised her start date was close to half term. I asked the school if she could start after half term and got the response “no”. I hadnt expected this as I’d presumed there wouldn’t be a strict regimen until mandatory school age.

The school (albeit just the admin staff) implied if I wasn’t happy she doesn’t have to take the place. I spoke to the council who said they don’t get involved at preschool stage. And then started digging and getting conflicting answers.

My wife is a clinician in a busy hospital, so whilst she only works a couple of days, time off during school hols is difficult. Her family live in Europe, so flying to Vienna for a few days is not really realistic.

As our daughter gets older I accept the balance shifts to her formal education. But I struggle to accept such a stringent regimen is better for her at this early stage.

Whilst I’m happy to argue with the school, I’m mindful I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot. Moreover I don’t want her to lose her place or more importantly possibly impact her chances of acceptance at the same school at 5.

Appreciate if anyone can help me with a definitive answer on where we stand?

Thanks :)

NB: please excuse the typos, writing on mobile so they slip through :)

[HSMMaCM]

If you had to go through a long process to get a space, I suspect there is a long queue of people who'd be happy to take it off you.

Have you asked the pre school what their policy on this is?

[Jf711]

I only asked about delaying the start date by a week as half term was a week later. It’s at that point it became apparent they might be applying the same regimen as compulsory school age children.

The paperwork wasn’t very clear as where it mentioned attendance it appeared to be referring to compulsory school age children (lots of refs to LEA, fines, age 5, etc).

Starting school has been a topic at playgroup/Park/etc. However, most of the parents we socialise with are not sending their kids to this school. And it appears the schools they’ve chosen operate a looser regimen for preschool. That reinforced what I’d believed to be the general case.

What’s thrown me is the insinuation in some threads I’ve read that they can remove the place at their whim. That’s now making me interpret my conversation with admin in that vein.

I’ve spoken to a couple of other parents and they’ve now implied they do operate a strict attendance regimen for preschool. Essentially I’m doing some research before I go in and speak to them.

[Jf711]

Just to be clear I don’t want to give the place up. Equally I don’t want a strict regimen from age 3, she’ll already have that for 13 years from age 5.

[Rattysparklebum]

If you are claiming the free nursery funding for 3yr olds I think they have to be ‘on roll’ by a certain date for the nursery to claim funding, but my local nurseries have no worries about taking holidays during term time otherwise.

[meditrina]

A few points:

a) it is not legal to raise fines icw a child below compulsory age
b) admission to the preschool only matters in terms of admission to the main school if the admission criteria for the main school say it does
c) state places do have to be taken up in a timely fashion

They probably are strict about when new joiners arrive because they have allowed time for settling. What you are suggesting can be way more disruptive than you realise. Schools do differ in their level of bossiness and how they communicate with parents.

[Jf711]

She’s got the place and I’ve completed the paperwork. I will be sending her in to take the place.

Since the discussion with the school about the start date I’ve spoken to two other parents who had a child there for preschool. They implied the school does operate a strict attendance regimen. Ofcourse parents often say things that are competent wrong and muddled :) But I’m getting the impression they aren’t going to be happy with my approach to pre-school attendance :(

[Jf711]

Thanks meditrina. I’m hoping it’s just (c) that is the issue.

Fines will be annoying in principal but are not a primary concern for us.

I’ll check (b) again, but from my previous examination of the policy it appears to be based on religion, catchment and then exceptions for people with extenuating circumstances or siblings already attending.

[Lifechallenges]

I agree with Ratty... prob have to be on roll to get the funding. The only way is to speak direct to the school. They can't really enforce attendance pre age Five as schooling is not compulsary until then.
I would point out that the vibe you are getting from the school of being a bit rigid etc will be the vibe for the ethos of the school : what was it like when you looked round?
Nursery normally has no bearing on reception admissions so you'll have to look at admissions policy for the school.
For RC schools baptism is normally the main criteria then parish boundaries etc

[Lifechallenges]

Bear in mind that whatever you teach your child now will be repeated from scratch in reception so I wouldn't focus too much on that. What she needs for school at 4 is to be able to interact with others in a school settting, share and play nicely, follow instructions, sit nicely on the carpet, dress and undress herself, being able to go to the toilet alone, eat her dinner by herself within 20-30mins, look after her own belongings etc.

[Jf711]

We got quite a relaxed vibe from the classes and teachers. It’s a relatively small school and reminded both my wife and I of our own infant/primary schools. Aside from the rankings this was one of the reasons we chose the school.

However, the administration and paperwork convey a stricter bordering on condescending vibe. For example WRT starting after half term I explained she’s quite attached and used to us. As such there’s a fair chance she will take some time to settle and kick up a fuss when we leave her at school. If this proved be the case, I felt going through a week and then immediately having half term may reinforce a belief that objecting and crying has paid off. As any parent knows it then takes even longer to overcome objections the second time around.

I didn’t feel my reasoned argument was entertained. And instead was effectively told they know better. Whilst I accept they have experience in the area, a one size fits all approach is not suitable at this age due to the diverse up bringing/circumstances up to the age of 3. Some children will be used to being without their parents, others will not. Some have a laissez faire temperament, others will cry until the cows come home.

[Jf711]

WRT what we’re teaching her it’s largely led by her. She’s always had a strong appetite for language which has progressed into a desire to understand numbers and learning alphabet from the alphabet song :) This Xmas she’s learnt seasonal songs such as jingle bells in their entirety. At this stage she has a very inquisitive nature in that area.

Other areas she isn’t as interested in. For example 2D to 3D interpretation (copying a pic with blocks) she loses interest and prefers to build what she likes. So we just let it be.

I am mindful she may feel under stimulated during some lessons. But In the alternative she could fall behind and find it difficult to recover.

Feed the fires that are burning bright and don’t worry about the ones that are yet to combust :)

[Lifechallenges]

It is a bit odd that they would start her the week before half term and most places in my experience would start DC off at the begging sof a 1/2 term, for the reasons you give. They mustn't think it matters; maybe it will, maybe it won't.. Most DC take at least 2-3 days to settle in, so to start and stop and start again seems a bit silly. I dont get why they would be that fussed really, unless just set in there ways.
As your DD has never been in nursery before / without you, it's likely that she may take a few days to settle and object initially; again its hard to predict.
What do they do in reception re settling in period or do they all just start FT from day 1?
Schools vary in the degree of flexibility with parents wishes.
Some like our local RC school are very much 'our way or go elsewhere' - and tend be to stricter on things like uniform as well

[Jf711]

Glad I'm not the only one that feels starting just before half term is odd. I'm not sure what they do for reception, haven't got past pre-school yet :)

[Littlefish]

At my school, we would be suggesting that she started after half term, for exactly the reason you suggest. We wouldn't want a child doing a week of settling in, then having a week off, then starting again. Really not good for the child.

However, if that is the school policy, then you may find, on this occasion, that you might need to just go with it, if they are digging their heels in.