3yo due to start in January - keeps asking if I'm going to be staying too

[LaMadeleine]

My three year old is due to start nursery next month and I just wanted to ask a little advice if possible.

I've been talking to her about nursery a little for a good while and the same question always crops up. She always asks me worriedly "are you going to be staying too Mummy?" I've been trying to kind of play it down whilst not lying to her by saying that I'll be staying for a little while.

We went for an hour-long taster session at the nursery recently (the second time we have visited) and much to my surprise she skipped off quite happily and joined in with the class straight away. I hovered around for a while and then told her I was going back to the staff room to get something. I stayed there for the rest of the session (about 45 mins) and she was absolutely fine. Although she has mentioned a few times since about me not being there.

Tonight we read a book where a little girl goes to nursery and is worried about her mum leaving but decides to be brave and ends up having fun. I could see the cogs moving in her head and straight away she asked if I would be staying with her in nursery. I reminded her about how I was only in the staff room last time and she had such fun and so we could do the same again when we go in January. She got really upset at the thought of it and so I tried to tell her not to worry and then kind of changed the subject.

I'm worried that I'm not handling things in the right way. Should I be telling her that yes there will come a time that I will be leaving her there or should I just try and ease her into it gradually first. I don't want her worrying about nursery before she's even started but she's clearly suspicious of what I'm telling her

[NellWilsonsWhiteHair]

I think you need to be really clear and honest with her, yes. It's important that she knows what to expect. Work out what reassurance you want/she needs you to tag onto the end - "yes, I will be leaving you but first I will stay for as long as you need" or "yes, I will be leaving you but I will always come back at x time" etc.