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Feeling pressured to send DD full time.

(7 Posts)
Mrsfrumble Mon 21-Nov-16 09:42:35

DD was 4 last month. Since the start of term she's been going to the nursery attached to the primary where her brother is in year 1. At the moment, she does 2 full days (9 - 3.30) and 1 half day (9 - 12) a week. This suits us perfectly. I'm not working at the moment, and I feel she's getting adequate socialization and ready-for-school skills. DD enjoys herself when she's there and doesn't fuss when I drop her off, but often says at the weekend and in the mornings that she doesn't want to go and wants to stay with me. She obviously finds it quite tiring, and usually naps during the day on her days off.

The problem is that the nursery gets funding to take 4 year olds full time, and I don't think she needs to or wants to go! A letter was sent home at half term to say that held full time place would start after the holiday, so I told her key worker that I thought she wasn't ready. Her key worker asked me this morning if she'd be starting after Christmas, as "all the other children will be full time by then" and she may be "behind when she starts reception". I know so many parents would kill for a full time funded nursery place, but I know it's not for us.

Am I being ridiculous to look a gift horse in the mouth? DH agrees with me, and all of DD's friends outside of this nursery are in part time settings and will be until starting school.

Whynotnowbaby Mon 21-Nov-16 09:47:59

It is not compulsory and you should make the choice that works for your family. There will presumably be children in reception who didn't go to that pre school at all so I wouldn't worry about that. My dd was two mornings a week at precschool while others did full days at nurseries or similar and there is no difference at school (although my 4yo dc has such a late birthday that she wasn't a 4yo at preschool at all). Will the preschool allow her to retain the part time place?

Purpleprickles Mon 21-Nov-16 09:57:16

I think that's awful you have been told she may be behind and it's also not true. I'm a nursery and reception teacher and keeping her part time will not have a detrimental effect on her at all. Children starting Reception need to be able to sit and listen for a short period of time, get along with others (at a 4 year old level), share, play at an activity for a sustained amount of time (by this I mean ten mins is sustained for some), known numbers 1-5 ideally 1-10, be able to count out objects up to 5, recognise their names, make marks and give them meaning. I could go on and on but all of these skills won't and don't need to be met by a full time nursery place. They can be taught at home, playgroups, meeting friends.

If I hadn't have been ft at work my ds would have gone to a pt nursery school. Enjoy having her with you for the next year.

Mrsfrumble Mon 21-Nov-16 10:02:46

Yes, we can keep the part time place. I told her keyworker I'd consider full time for the summer term if I thought DD was ready by then. And you're right that plenty of the reception class will not have been at full time nursery at all.

I'm thankful that she's autumn born and won't start reception until she's nearly 5; she's not overly shy or anxious, but she's a gentle little soul who is very small for her age and often seems younger than she is. But the nursery have already starting pushing literacy and numeracy, which on a full time basis seems pretty much the same as being in reception anyway.

Mrsfrumble Mon 21-Nov-16 10:19:24

I can kind of see it from the nursery's point of view. The school has quite a "challenging" intake, with a much higher than average number of pupils who have EAL / special needs / eligible for pupil premium. According to the lastest Ofsted report most pupils start reception there with skills and knowledge significantly below the national average, so I know they're trying to close that gap.

However I know that DD doesn't need that extra intervention. She doesn't have any special needs, we speak English at home, read to her lots and do plenty of stimulating activities outside of school.

HSMMaCM Mon 21-Nov-16 20:29:12

Don't worry about it. Children don't have to go to any form of pre school or nursery before school, although for many is does help.

They're probably just not able to fill the other 2.5 days when everyone wants full time.

cheekyfunkymonkey Mon 21-Nov-16 20:35:26

My DD went two days and was more than prepared for nursery and is by no means struggling or behind, quite the opposite in fact. Days in nursery don't equal progression in school. There is a lot to be said for variety of experience. I am Fuming with the nursery staff on your behalf op!

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