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How long should playgroup let ds cry

(5 Posts)
GoMommaItsaBargain Tue 22-Mar-16 10:12:36

Ds is 26 months - he screamed for 25 mins to get out - just starting the setting in the last two weeks- previously with me as I'm a sahm currently- my other dc in y1 and 2 at school. No concerns re his development etc- happy little dude - just the other two dc never went through this much separation stress! Not sure if it's going to hurt him getting that upset and then after keyworker said he wanted to be left alone with a toy before they could get him to join in with snack- he finally played with outside toys etc - I'm worried this will turn into a daily occurrence as he will associate drop off with upset- he was hysterical- obvs I know if I went in and played with him he would. Settle but then likely upset again when I tried to leave- should I just give it a couple of weeks and see if he adjusts- or wait till he is nearer 3?

strawberrybubblegum Sat 26-Mar-16 08:38:27

If you are a SAHM you presumably don't need this for childcare, and it's for his education?

Personally, I would pull him out for a bit and try again later (in September if it's a term based preschool). He's not gaining anything if it's upsetting him that much. One nursery I've spoken to have said that they notice a really big difference in ability to adapt between 2 and 2.5, and your little boy isn't quite 2.5.

Chocolatteaddict1 Sat 26-Mar-16 08:45:10

I had all this with dd2. I ended up giving up work and being a SAHM because she was so distressed, scratching my neck and like a zombie when I picked her up (nine months) so I left it till she was two and it pretty much was the same.

I really felt she would benefit being around other children and adults and needed the stimulation do I braved it out after a few months and really stuck at it and I'm so glad I did. She really loves it now (nearly three) it took a few weeks to get there but she legs it in now and is all smiles when I pick her up.

Tbh though you really need to get an excellent nursary. Dd key worker is fantastic firm but loving and fair and dd raves about her.

What do they say at nursary ?

bearleftmonkeyright Sat 26-Mar-16 08:55:11

Could you attend some sessions with him and then gently start leaving for half an hour and coming back? A lot of work I know but like a pp said he might just not be ready. I was a sahm and did Playgroup with all three of mine and never had this issue but saw other parents use this as a strategy.

GoMommaItsaBargain Sat 26-Mar-16 09:18:10

Hello thankyou everyone - I do think he might be a bit easier to settle when slightly older but he does settle and play after the first 20 mins or so- as a sahm obvs I could just pull him out and wait till sept- might do this if he doesn't settle quickly after easter - it's only 3 hours twice a week and he would benefit from the social side etc and he loves the painting- craft and outside area- mud kitchen etc. - the staff seem good at communicating with me what he is doing and are good with the children so that's ok - I did have a hunch he might object a bit but not this much! Also I think the short session would be good after 8 years trying to get some time to work on job situation!

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