Has anyone complained about preschool tutors?

[Lorelei2]

My son has been attending preschool for over a year. Recently I've been advised by the staff that they can't get him to do anything, that he's really emotional and says 'I can't' a lot, that I need to be tougher with him and that he'll need to be able to dress himself when he goes to school in September. They are right that with respect to him putting his shoes and jacket on and similar tasks, he says he can't do it and throws the items away and goes in the huff. But I think they're being neglectful when they leave him for 20 mins in this state while the other children are outside playing (they told me this is what happens on a regular basis). I know they can't look after only one child at a time. They need to be there for all the children but I also believe, if they gave more encouragement and help to him, he would do it. I believe these ladies are too old for the job and are too old fashioned in their approach. I don't mean to be agist but one has been there for forty years and it wouldn't be an issue for me but she's very abrupt with the kids and never gets down to their level, so to speak. She always seems lacklustre. Anyway, when I picked him up today I spotted him from the entrance door, sitting in a corner crying because he couldn't put his shoes on and his keyworker told me he's been 'contrary' all afternoon. He's just returned after an illness, which they're aware of, so I think he was tired, which I know is not an excuse, but I just wonder if they've given any leeway for this. I don't ever get feedback on his day and I have asked what he's been up to and they've said they don't know and I should ask him. Has anyone had a similar experience? I know it's not a serious one but I wonder if I should talk to the manager (who's also the school headteacher) but I worry this may affect his care.

[PerspicaciaTick]

What country are you in? I've not heard of schools of tutors for preschoolers before?
Why did you choose this school? Could he go somewhere else?

[Lorelei2]

the UK. Sorry 'tutors' meaning preschool workers, can't think of their term? I chose this school because it's in the catchment area for where I live. I wouldn't want him to go anywhere else because I don't believe in 'choosing' a school. I went to the closest schools to where I lived growing up and they were fine, and even if they weren't, my parents were not about to move me. I don't want to move him because he's friends with all the children who he'll be going to school with and this is invaluable, just wondering if anyone has complained, thanks.

[poocatcherchampion]

People vote with their feet on the whole and leave if they don't like it.

By all means raise your issues with the manager but I suggest you at least attempt to keep your contempt of the workers' age to yourself.

[Lorelei2]

Upon reflection I think maybe the preschool teachers are right, I do need to toughen up on him. I'm going to post in Behaviour/ Development for tips!

[PerspicaciaTick]

I'd go with lots of praise, encouragement and making him feel competent and that he can do these things. You might need to give him more time and break each task down into little bits, some of which he can do (and get lots of praise) and some of which you might need to support/assist while he learns. Maybe let him realise that although you will support and help you won't do it for him. But don't get too tough or stern about it. Make it into a series of games, with hugs for rewards when he succeeds. He'll get there, it is a long time to September.