EYFS Progress Check at 2-3 Years at Pre-school

[10000Fireflies]

Is it standard practice for a pre-school to provide minutes from a meeting about the 2-3 year check? I was very taken aback to receive them by email about two weeks after the meeting I had with his key worker and the SENCO.

Asides from finding the above a bit and (ie that they minuted what I thought was a fairly casual meeting. I thought the actual written report was enough of a record!) I have felt that the school / his keyworker has been hinting that 'things' are not quite right with DS. He settled very well, no clinginess, when he started in Jan. When I asked his keyworker how he was doing initially she mentioned lack of eye contact and that he won't engage / listen when they speak to him sometimes. This worried me so I spoke to the manageress. As a result, she arranged for a daily diary to be completed about how he's doing. TBH though this doesn't really provide any real nitty-gritty, useful information apart from that he played with the train set a lot this day, liked the water another etc.

I asked again about the eye contact / listening at the review meeting and they said it is reasonable for his age and not something to worry about. Instead at his review they got quite heavy handed about him having 'sensory issues'. He always put things in his mouth when he was younger (just like any baby will) and seemed to do it more than his peers and for a longer period of time, but it's not really a problem at home. They say it is at the nursery and also that they think he is too keen on playing with water / sand, the latter of which he sometimes still likes to eat.

I'd be interested in hearing any thoughts on any of these issues. To be honest, I'm struggling to know whether to keep him at this school or whether to move him to a new one in September. There are lots of factors to be taken into account other than those I've mentioned above though.

[BackforGood]

I never think it's a good plan to move a child from a Nursery because they are raising concerns about your child, tbh. If they are raising them, it's because, compared with the other dc they have there, and the experience they have from working with that age range day in, day out over however many years, they feel there is something to be concerned about.

Clearly difficult for any of us to say, without observing your dc for any length of time, as to if the mouthing and eating non-food items is an indicator of something deeper, or "just" a phase.

If the SENCo was in on their developmental check, and they took notes from the meeting, then I'd say they do have some concerns.

Why not ask for another meeting, say you want them to be really honest and open with you and let you know all the things that they are concerned about. Ask them if they have filled in any kind of developmental profile and if you can have a look and see where the concerns are. Ask them if they are using any particular strategies to help overcome the issues. Ask them what they would do if it were their child.

[10000Fireflies]

Thanks for replying backforgood. I was beginning to wonder if I should have posted on Aibu!! Have you any professional expertise in EYFS?

Since I posted the nursery manager has informed me that it's their standard practice to minute meetings, though it's not an Ofsted requirement. No wonder they are complaining of drowning in paperwork as apparently they do it for all meetings. It would be great if it was accurate!

I will go back to them and ask for more info. Good idea, thanks.

What they tell me at the end of sessions and in the diary is not the same as the info I got in the meeting / on the 2 year review form. I just get the feeling they are trying to over-diagnose him.

BTW I wasn't considering moving him until we were offered a free place at the local primary school. But as I said in my OP there are plenty of other criteria to be considered.

[BackforGood]

Yes, without wanting to 'out' myself, I do.

My experience is that many EY Practitioners are actually over cautious and often quite nervous about suggesting they might have any concerns - understandably when you hear how some parents react. I would always recommend being really nice to the SENCo / room Leader / Key PErson and saying - "look, obviously I know my child best, but I acknowledge that you are the folks who work with 2 year olds all day every day, and that you would instinctively have a "feel" about any concerns possibly before I might as I don't have the same number of other children to compare him with. I'll try not to get defensive, if you will be really open and clear with me what your concerns are." Try and bite your tongue if they don't phrase it well, and try to listen to what they are telling you, even if they don't word it too well. Ask questions. Get more detail. Then you'll know what they think, and will be able to make a more informed judgement about what you want to do next.

Someone will come and flame me for this post - there are a lot of angry people on the SN boards - but if it were my child, I'd want to know all concerns they have so I could decide what to do, rather than waste time with people pussyfooting around, not being sure whether they ought to say anything, or how I'd react if they say this, that or the other, hence my thinking with the above suggestion. Entirely up to you of course, please ignore me if you wish

It's also worth asking them if they have anyone they can ask for a second opinion - in different authorities people go by different job titles, but there should be an Area SENCo or an Inclusion Officer or an Early Years Support Teacher, or same person under a different name who will come in and give a further opinion about your ds if you'd like them to.

What did the HV say?
Ultimately, none of these people are able to diagnose your ds with anything, but what they have to do, is bring any concerns to your attention. If, after more discussion, you (as a team) are concerned, all you will be doing is referring for a fuller assessment.

[10000Fireflies]

That's really helpful. Thank you!