DD struggling at pre school

[Lourab1225]

My dd who is 3 and a half has been at pre school since September 2013 and attends 2 and a half days a week. But almost every morning when we are ready to go to pre school she will start to cry and say she doesn't want to go! I have to leave her almost every day crying and having to hand her over to one of the ladies there. It breaks my heart every morning I have to do this and often leave in tears myself
They usually call me during the morning and say she is fine and had settled down but she doesn't talk much (which is very unlike her) when I go to pick her up she has had a lovely day and will tell me all about her day and says she had fun!
But she hasn't really made any friends who she will be excited to go and play with, so to me it just seems like she is just getting through the day but not really enjoying herself! She's normally a very social little girl and very confident and strong minded and has been ever since she was a baby! It's just when her key worker tells me that she's so shy and doesn't mix much with the other children I find this so hard to get my head around!
Has anyone else had an experience like this with their child? And does it get better or is there anything I can do to help the situation?

[BettyandDon]

My DD is the same although she does not cry before going. I raised this with them and they increased the amount of attention she gets and she is talking a bit more. They say asking as she is making progress it's fine but. I'm speaking to a language therapist and HV about my concerns too. The obvious suggestion is play dates with other children from nursery?

[BettyandDon]

A friend of mine has suggested that the relationship with her key worker is not strong and therefore she is lacking in the grounding she needs to be confident. My dd has 2 key workers who job share probably not helping...

[deelite72]

We went through this last year. Our normally zany little girl became miserable when we dropped her off at nursery. It was awful. Our very outgoing little girl has a shy side, but she became hermit-like in nursery. She wasn't making any friends. She seemed happy when we picked her up but often played alone. This is not abnormal behaviour, they are very young still and the social scene is new to them. However, we noticed her speech development sort of went into hibernation. I talked to the GP who ordered a hearing test. She failed. We found out she had glue ear, probably for months. I felt so guilty because I had no idea, no raging, overt ear infection to warn me that she could have developed a hearing issue. With 5 teachers per class and such a happy environment, I couldn't work out why my girl was so unhappy until the hearing test. The nursery setting was very loud, happy, but loud with high ceilings. The acoustics were not the best for someone suffering from hearing loss. The glue ear resolved itself in the summer time and her next hearing test was perfect. But I could see the improvement in her immediately. She is now almost 4 and in state nursery... nice, happy, 'block' of a classroom with low ceilings and great acoustics. She still gets all shaky and a bit teary from time to time when I leave her, but the teachers just swoop her into the group and by the time I walk out the gate, she's fine. There are only 2 teachers in the class and I think this can be a struggle with 30 kids. My DD is still a bit shy but actually plays with some buddies now. It's very normal for kids up until the age of 4 to play alone. This will change. Some kids hit the age of 3 full steam, nothing holds them back socially. Don't worry if your kid isn't one of those. But it's worth getting her hearing checked.