no invitations to parties or play dates, is this unusual?

[sparklemagic]

just wondering if anyone has any opinions on this - we moved to a new area in January and my DS started the local pre-school. He goes three mornings a week and is well settled in now.

we've not been invited anywhere (birthdays or playdates), in these months, would you think this is unusual or do others find that this doesn't happen?

[twinsetandpearls]

To be honest apart from visiting her very close circle off friends at pre school whom she has known since starting over two years ago my dd has only had one party invite and she had no invites from her new nursery (which she started in January) for anything- although there are only a few children attending at the moment as it isa new nursery. Maybe it is just a quiet time of year for birthdays.

[Ellaroo]

I think it can take a while at a new nursery - often people are relying on their child's memory when drawing up a list of people to invite, and it takes a while for the parents to notice the new faces and then match the parent and the child up. Also we seem to get our invites in clumps - some months we have an invite for every weekend and then other months we'll have nothing. Maybe you could invite someone over to play who you know that your ds likes. Am sure they will come flooding in soon.

[BadHair]

How old is he? Ds2 started pre-school nursery in January. He and all the other children had their birthdays in the term before they started, so there will be no parties in the offing until the 4th birthdays start, which will be from September onwards.

And the other mummies don't really do playdates, so ds2 hasn't been invited anywhere either.

I don't think it's unusual, just circumstancial.

[Mercy]

What age do you mean by pre-school?

dd didn't get invited to many parties until she was 4, and virtually no-one had other children home for lunch/tea. Almost certainly because parents weren't organising parties etc for 2/3 year olds.

4 or 5 plus is when it seems to happen, I think - ie, Reception.

Don't worry, you (and ds) will soon start to form closer ties with other families.

[handlemecarefully]

DD(3.11)started her new Pre-School in January 2. So far one birthday party invite and one vague play date invitation (which didn't get around to finalising it).

Didn't think play date invitations were that common place for Pre-schoolers???? I've certainly never thought of inviting anyone over for dd to play with from Pre School

[handlemecarefully]

Must be going mad, I meant to write 'in January too'

[sparklemagic]

oh, thank you everyone, that's really reassuring. My DS is three and won't be four till August so he's a very young starter at school this year poor mite...it's good to know things should change a bit at school. I had been thinking that, then suddenly today (must be hormonal) I felt wobbly and paranoid and convinced that everyone else was enjoying a wonderful pre-school social life!

I totally see what you mean Ellaroo, I am still at the stage where I am matching the children and parents together so others must be the same...I think he'll have left by the time I work everyone out!

[Orinoco]

Sparkle, don't worry if it doesn't happen in reception either. IME they're so tired to start off with that having friends round after school is definitely not a good idea. DD1's been in reception since last September, and I've not encouraged any playdates yet because I still don't feel she's up to it, she's just shattered after school. Perhaps we'll invite some of her friends over in the summer holidays!

[sparklemagic]

thanks orinoco. It's not something I want to obsess about, my Ds couldn't really care at the moment anyway! And I think as a really young starter he will prob. be as tired as your DD when school comes along!

Maybe it's just a bit of paranoia as living in new area; though we do know our neighbours and some mums at pre-school are friendly, we don't really have friends here and I do want to make sure DS isn't isolated. I will just settle down a bit!