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I really dislike the majority of parents at my DD's school (long - sorry)

(11 Posts)
MummyOfLittleBigGirl Fri 25-Nov-11 11:06:28

When my DD started private school I thought "BRILLIANT!".

Five weeks later she got into an altercation with another child. I went berserk! It was traumatic for us both but soon sorted out. I put the whole episode behind us and concentrated on DD's performance at school.

I've made about 3 so called "friends" and they are lovely Mums. The other parents are just a friggin' nightmare. They are not friendly at all. I do try my best but I feel as though they can't be bothered.

It really bugs me as it was ME who selected the school after 2 separate visits.
On the second visit there were Mums who seemed extremely friendly, welcoming and warm. In fact, all of the Mums who were asked, by the school, to attend parent visit days were really lovely... *on the day*.

Now that my DD attends the school they barely speak to me let alone look in my direction. They leave me with the impression that they wouldn't spit on me if I were on fire let alone say "Hello".

My DD loves the school and that is why we spend our hard earned £££ to send her there. It is for DD not for me I know.

However, I still get a wrench in the pit of my stomach when I drop her off. As I just do not feel welcome at all!!! It got to the point where I even show up at 3:30 or 3:32 so as to avoid the whole wrench in my stomach thing.

We are not wealthy nor do we live in a well off area - just a small normal village.
The little girl, who my daughter got into an altercation with, invited my DD to her birthday party. But the Grand parents, who drop off & pick up the little girl won't even say "Hello" to me. Ironically, the little girl & my DD are now best friends.

Tomorrow is the school's Christmas fair, I volunteered my family to help out for my DD's sake. However, I am NOT looking forward to it.

I wish my Mum were alive because I would ask her for her opinion. I don't want to go to my friends as they will think I'm being foolish & tell me to give it time. Heaven knows I don't want to say anything to DH as he knows how I feel and just says "The school is for DD not for you!"

But it's me who has to drop off, goes to work, and then picks up and it gets me down all the time!
What would you do?

bnm Fri 25-Nov-11 11:09:56

Private or not, now you have to learn to grin and bear it. As long as you DD is happy that is all that really matters. The mums were probably nice at first as they were being nosey. However, give it chance it is early days. Also do what you can when you can but not so that you can be in with the in crowd it doesn't work that way.

jasminerice Fri 25-Nov-11 11:10:19

They can't all be horrid. I felt like you when my DD started school. But over the years I've met some very nice mums and made some good friends, not necessarily the mums of DD's friends. Just give it time, get to know as many people as you can and I'm sure 1 or 2 nice mums will emerge.

Sandalwood Fri 25-Nov-11 11:12:26

My DD's at state school. But my experience is that many people are there just to drop off/pick up the DCs, not really to make friends. There'll be chat between mums who know each other etc but it's not a get-to-know-you-club. Nothing personal.
I think you might find helping at the xmas fair will help of you're wanting to make friends.
Is your DD making friends? Any chance of having someone over for tea? That'd give you a reason a chat to someone.

Bislev Fri 25-Nov-11 11:13:27

What happened in the altercation - why/how did you go beserk? I'm just wondering if that's why they're not being so friendly.

picnicbasketcase Fri 25-Nov-11 11:13:29

My standard answer to any of these issues.

You don't need to be friends with any other parents. As far as you know, all you have in common is children the same age. Even if they were a bit more welcoming, they might turn out to be really unpleasant when you got to know them anyway. Stick to the nice ones you already know and sod the rest of them. Let's hope they all go cross eyed from looking down their nose at people.

LePruneDeMaTante Fri 25-Nov-11 11:14:45

I think it's just a fact of life! You don't have to care about talking to them, they are just random people after all. If some are nice then that's a bonus, and through them you'll probably meet some more of the nicer ones.

VivaLeBeaver Fri 25-Nov-11 11:15:16

Maybe if you went " berserk" you've now got a reputation with the other parents and this is why they're avoiding you?

MummyOfLittleBigGirl Fri 25-Nov-11 18:38:15

I know that I haven't got a rep at my DD's school, as I went berserk via email. However, I taken on board what you have all said and perhaps I should just concentrate on my DD and her educational needs/requirements.
My DD has made loads of new friends but it is her school not mine. Thank you all for your help.

MummyOfLittleBigGirl Wed 08-May-13 12:33:09

Gosh, I forgot my login deets to MumsNet so I just left it. But something brought me back - so I reset my password and here I am - again.
Wow how time flies! This thread is a massive eye opener as you Mums sure know your stuff. My DD is one happy little'lin and still at the same private school. Albeit, I cringe when she tells anyone that she goes to private school. She loves it there and I have made many new friends and left the old skanky-snobs to their own devices.
I said it before but I'll say it again - THANK YOU ALL!

scottishmummy Sat 11-May-13 16:57:17

look you don't have to like them,so don't set yourself up with that expectation
yes,keep it cordial,friendly,and don't get embroiled I'm school gate tittle tattle
I think sometimes people expect too much of school mileu but I see you're happier now

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