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DD started preschool today and was absolutely fine but cried when I collected her. Why?

(23 Posts)
ShowOfHands Wed 05-Jan-11 16:22:43

DD is 3.8 and started preschool today. She is a confident, independent little girl who was very excited about going.

She went in very happily, didn't want me to stay to settle her, they said she had a lovely day. She played and drew and made a snake and helped the teachers.

When I arrived to collect her she was playing happily but the second she saw me her face crumpled and she threw herself at me sobbing. She doesn't cry at all really and is a happy, sunny girl. They promised she was just fine the whole time.

100 yards from preschool on the walk home she was all smiles, telling me about how it was the best day ever and she loved it and wanted to go back tomorrow.

So why the sobbing? She's very erudite and says she just felt sad all of a sudden and that she missed me.

I'm a bit frightened she wasn't pleased to see me. Or that she didn't really enjoy it.

I'm being an idiot I suspect.

ConnorTraceptive Wed 05-Jan-11 16:24:14

DS1 used to do this I think they are so happy to see you they are almost over whelmed by it. I wouldn't be too worried

Pinkjenny Wed 05-Jan-11 16:26:20

Oi, SOH - respond on my Primary Education thread. Which clearly should have been in this topic.

I agree with Connor, they get a bit overwhemed when they see you. I am very proud of you, actually.

Catsmamma Wed 05-Jan-11 16:26:47

Mine used to cry when i fetched them too...wee charmers!

they all loved nursery!

Maybe she had had such a lovely time and had not missed you, suddenly seeing you provoked a pang of guilt?

Pinkjenny Wed 05-Jan-11 16:27:39


Ragwort Wed 05-Jan-11 16:29:29

Agree with catsmamma - my DS cried because he had such a fun time and didn't want to come home with boring old mum grin. You obviously have a happy, well adjusted, confident child.

ShowOfHands Wed 05-Jan-11 16:36:39

I was a mess leaving her, though I didn't let her see it. I sobbed all the way home and missed her desperately. There's nothing to be proud of.

She has just told me she'd forgotten how much she missed me until she saw me. And really she felt happy on the inside. Oh I love her. I had to try really, really hard not to cry when I saw her so upset.

I am very pathetic.

Pinkjenny Wed 05-Jan-11 16:39:49

You are not pathetic, you are wonderful. Don't be a knob.

ShowOfHands Wed 05-Jan-11 16:42:50

I am a massive knob. I think it suits me.

Pinkjenny Wed 05-Jan-11 16:49:36


pagwatch Wed 05-Jan-11 16:59:46

Yes you are a massive knob but also they just get emotional about stuff and are not big enough to know which emotion to file a reaction under. So a lot of stuff gets filed under crying. And her mum being a knob must be a burden. Knobby.

pagwatch Wed 05-Jan-11 17:01:18

The first time ds2 went on a trip I ended up getting into his bed and and crying all over his school shorts.
What is that all about?

coldtits Wed 05-Jan-11 17:02:23

She suddenly realised that you hadn't been there for all that time. She'd been having too much fun to notice before.

ShowOfHands Wed 05-Jan-11 17:05:40

She bears the burden of a knobby knob mother very well indeed. With spirit in fact.

Crying in your child's bed is better than crying in front of the soap counter at Superdrug. Oh yes I did.

The skipping in happily and crying on seeing me just paints a picture of a mother she can't bear. But then I'm a knob so it's hardly surprising.

pagwatch Wed 05-Jan-11 17:11:56


It's lovely, they are so cute at that age- I am jealous.

I can tell you the tale of my drastic hair cut when ds2 fled screaming into a storage cupboard if that helps ..

ScarlettWalking Wed 05-Jan-11 17:13:51

They hold it together and then get distracted so much then they see you and realise you have been away and it's like a little delayed reaction smile

WanderingSheep Wed 05-Jan-11 17:14:12

Aw smile. You sound so lovely!

Agree with everyone else that she was just so happy to see you and got a bit emotional!

A little boy started at my DD's preschool today and was inconsolable when his mum (I presume she was his mum) was dropping him off sad. I could see that his mum didn't know what to do with herself!

ShowOfHands Wed 05-Jan-11 17:18:43

"You sound so lovely!" <snort> PJ knows me fairly well, she's confirmed I'm actually a knob. I'd believe her tbh.

I'm glad she's quite able to express herself. She's just phoned Grandma and after going into great detail about snack time and how small the toilets are, explained that she had a little cry because she was just so happy to see me. Of course she could be lying to protect me but I feel a bit warm and fuzzy nonetheless.

paggy, tell the story. Sounds like a good 'un.

WanderingSheep Wed 05-Jan-11 17:53:44

She sounds like she has loved it. My DD is the same age and really enjoys preschool but is often glad to come home at the end of the day! I think they get quite tired too so that might explain the tears a bit?

I found it really hard at first, because she's been at home until now and I felt like I wanted to go in and experience preschool with her, rather than leave her there! I felt a bit lost at home without her but I'm getting used to it now (she's been there since Sept) and quite enjoy the break if I'm honest! grin

ShowOfHands Wed 05-Jan-11 18:10:11

You've reassured me enormously. I've missed her so much, kept looking for her before remembering that I didn't need to. And I've felt quite tearful. MIL helpfully reminded me that you provide 2 wings to fly and a nest to come home to. Usually I'd raise an eyebrow and file it under trite but my eyes just started leaking again. Over lunch. In public. I've found it really hard tbh.

ShowOfHands Mon 10-Jan-11 20:25:00

Well she had her second session today and no tears on collection. In fact she skipped out singing and grinning, waving her picture around with glee.

First full day is tomorrow. She seems to adore the place. It's a bit of a relief. Even I didn't sob today.

Tillyscoutsmum Mon 10-Jan-11 20:28:40


Well done both of you x

ShowOfHands Mon 10-Jan-11 20:41:12

Oh I don't know about well done. I still went home and stood in her bedroom for 5 minutes feeling a bit bereft.

I'm still a knob.

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