I'm a bit worried by something that happened at DD nursery today

[kittycat37]

Hi all,
My DD1 (3.7) goes to a Montessori nursery up the road. She's been there a year and has always seemed happy. The teachers seem sensitive and motivated etc

But today she came out of nursery covered in sick at 3pm, pale as a ghost and with a temperature. When I asked her when she'd been sick she said 'lunchtime' )(12.30ish). I was desperate to get her home but I also wanted to know why the hell noone had phoned me, or apparently noticed she'd been sick and was ill.

I went to the manager and said - 'Did you realise my DD had been sick?'
She said 'it must have only just happened', made sympathetic noises, handed me wipes etc

But on the way home I asked DD several times when it had happened and each time she was clear that it had been lunchtime.

Which means not one single member of staff even noticed

I just don't know what to do now. The nursery have always been very good up until now. In the past when DD was ill they phoned me right away and I've had nothing but good impressions of them. But this made me very worried today. What should I do?

Incidently, when I asked DD if she'd tried to tell a teacher she'd been sick she said 'no because I wanted to keep on playing a bit'. I just cannot understand how they wouldn't have noticed.

[Iamcountingto3]

Children of this age aren't the best judges of time, tbh - so if it's just the lunchtime comment, I would be reserving judgement. I would be concerned that a child who is sick + temperature + pale should have been picked up on though - those symptoms won't all have come on at once.

[kittycat37]

That's what I thought Iamcounting - but she was very specific and kept saying 'it was when I was eating my sandwiches'.

I don't know how to approach it. I don't want to go steaming in there making unfair accusations but I'm not happy.

[littleducks]

My ds sometimes get lunchtime/snacktime mixed up

[thisisyesterday]

omg! i would be fuming!

at 3.7 i think she would be fairly sure of when lunch time is!

and even if it had "only just" happened... how does a child throw up without anyone noticing?

you noticed as soon as you saw her.... so why didn't anyone else?

[kittycat37]

At DD's nursery they just have snack time in the morning and lunch at 12.30 so if DD is right, it means noone noticed for over two hours.

But if she had only just been sick I'm still worried that she presumably had the temperature and was very pale beforehand without anyone really noticing.

She really really smelt of sick when she came out of the door, and the manager said 'it smells a lot because she must have only just been sick' which I thought was a weird defensive thing to say.

Perhaps I'm being overly suspicious. I hope so. I really have liked this nursery up until today.

[kittycat37]

x post this is yesterday - but you sum up my thoughts exactly.

I don't know what to do - I guess I'll try and arrange a meeting and tell them how concerned I am.

[jonicomelately]

when my kids are ill like this they can often be fine one minute and thowing up the next. I always feel really guilty for not realising.

I would definitely not take the word of a three year old. I'm sorry but I really wouldn't. Perhaps she was thinking of her sandwiches because she could still taste them before being sick. There is no way a caring nursery would fail to spot a child covered in sick over a two and a half hour period.

[kittycat37]

That's what worrying me, jonicomelately - that maybe they're not as caring as I thought.

At some point, even if it was in the last 10 minutes of the day, she was sick and noone noticed.

I find that odd. I don't get it.

Also usually when she is off on a usual 3yr old type flight of fancy about times etc she is not consistent. I am very used to her inventive use of details in account of real or pretend events.

But she has been absolutely consistent about this saying 'it was lunchtime', 'when I was eating my sandwiches at lunchtime' 'when I was sitting at the lunchtable'. I asked her lots of times on the way home and also after we got home. She also said there were no teachers at her lunch table today. I find that odd too.

[jonicomelately]

If all your instincts are telling you she was sick at lunchtime then you will have to speak to them.
I can only imagine they'll deny it.
It's strange that if she's quite a confident little girl (from your post she certainly sounds as if she is) she didn't mention it to the staff.

[beebuzzer]

Even if it `had just happened' surely someone should have noticed,especially when they know their parents are coming to pick them up. Usually I am very laid back when it comes to stuff like that but I certainly would be surprised if she came home in sick.
How much was it? Had she been proper sick or just a little?

[beebuzzer]

Do you think she may have been scared for some reason to tell them or been trying to hide it?

[kittycat37]

Yes I can't understand why she didn't. She said that it was because she 'wanted to play a bit longer'. I found that reassuring because she can't have been feeling as ill as she looked or seemed when I picked her up.
On the other hand it might be because she's not really sure about the times and it was just before the end of the day that she was sick.

But even if she was sick right at the end of the day I can't understand why they didn;t notice then and come and say 'this has just happpened'. The manager who'd brought her to the door for me to collect her was completely oblivious until I pointed it out.

[jonicomelately]

I don't want to sound harsh kittycat37. I've just had lots of experience of being utterly convinced that my kids are telling me the truth only to later realise they are lying little shits confused

[kittycat37]

x post beebuzzer = it was a proper sick, all over her dress.

I've been wondering as well whether she was scared. But that doesn't really make sense as she's very warm about the staff and they are about her.

Except there was a new woman in charge for the afternoon session today and I didn;t recognise her,

[beebuzzer]

strange. Usually you can smell sick too :(

[tomhardyismydh]

i would talk to them, wether it was lunch time or ten mins before she came out.

at 3.7 i imagine she knows when it happened.

my dd is confident and at times at nursery if she hurt herself etc she would not cry or tell anyone and so some times bumped grazed knees would go unnoticed. so maybe she took it in her stride and did not make a fuss. but unless it was just a bit of reflux that came out or a sicky burp she would would have noticibly smelt or had it on her clothes.

[kittycat37]

jonicomelately - I've had that experience too and she has come out with some corkers at times.

But she's a terrible liar (it usually involved having been out with Cinderella or something). In any case she'd definitely been sick and they hadn't noticed, i just don't know when it happened.

[kittycat37]

Yes tomhardy - it's just odd. She really really smelt.

I'm going to arrange a meeting tomorrow and I really hope they have a good explanation otherwise I'm going to be on the hunt for another nursery.

I don't want to take her out - she really has seemed happy and has a lot of friends there and I also have a lot of friends amongst the Mums.

I hope I'm just being neurotic but I really can't understand how a child can be sick and noone notice. I teach classes of 30 and I would notic sharpish, it's not the kind of thing you miss really.

[beebuzzer]

If you teach yourself Kittycat you should have a good idea and sound judgement. :)

[MyNameIsInigoMontoya]

Can you talk to any of the other children/their mums and ask whether they noticed anything? If one of her friends says "Oh littlekitty was sick at our lunch table..." (without being prompted as to the time) then that would back up her account. If she is right then I would be v v pissed off too!

[tomhardyismydh]

dont think you are being neurotic, its difficult to think of lo unwell and i would have been angry but sometimes mistakes are made that are not on and does not mean that you cant rstore your trust in them.

also at 3.7 a child tends to play fairly indipendently so it may have gone unoticed, not that that is on. but a meeting may make them realise a mistake has been made and supervision needs to be re evaluated. i bet you will find they where under staffed today!!

have you any other worries about the nursery?

[kittycat37]

Good idea MyNameIs.

tomhardyismydh - I've had no other worries about the nursery. It's been really good. It's always seemed a caring place. DD has been happy there. So I do want to restore faith in them as until today I had no doubts at all.

I just wonder about this woman I didn't recognise today who was doing the afternoon session (there are only a few children in the afternoon and fewer staff). Perhaps she's inexperienced. In which case it might be helpful for me to flag up what seems to have happened - most of the staff there seem totally on the case.

[kittycat37]

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's really helped me think a bit more clearly about it all and I can go and meet them calmly tomorrow and try and work out what's gone on.

[tomhardyismydh]

sounds like a good idea to "ahem" flagg it up asap. call them tomorow if dd is at home or talk to head first thing.

anyway hope she is better soon.

[wannaBe]

I would remove her now.

It doesn't matter whether she was sick at lunchtime or before the end of the day, what matters is that you collected your child, who was covered in sick, and no-one noticed or informed you.

The only reason this has come to your attention is because it's vomet and so obvious - I'd be wondering what else happens under their watch that you don't know/are never informed about.

Don't take her back there.