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I'm giving birth to a very poorly 29 weeker tomorrow, any advice?

(557 Posts)
Alb1 Sat 01-Apr-17 19:47:22

I won't go into too much detail as it can be a little quiet on here and I don't want to pour my heart out to no replies blush

Il be exactly 29 weeks tomorrow, the baby is very poorly and it's been made clear her chances arnt great if they deliver her. But we also don't have any options to help her if we leave her in utero, so she's clearly going to get more sick and die anyway. The doctors arnt giving an opinion of what they think is best so it's all been left down to us, although they said if I was past 32 weeks they'd deliver. So we feel we need to deliver as surly even a tiny tiny chance is better than no chance. Our last baby was stillborn to the same condition (we were told these things don't happen twice, we had absolutely no idea, and nither did the doctors, that it could reoccur) but we didn't find out until hours before she died last time so we couldn't do anything, this time we've been trying for over 4 weeks and have exhausted all options other than delivery.

Don't no what advice I'm looking for, has anyone else had a baby against the odds and how did it go? I think with the doctors not being able to offer an opinion I want to feel like I'm not making a selfish or wrong decision somehow confused

Universitychallenging Sat 01-Apr-17 19:48:42

I have nothing to say except I will be thinking of you and your wee baby flowers and hugs xxx

mrsnoon Sat 01-Apr-17 19:49:19

I'm so sorry to hear that she is poorly. I have no experience of this but wanted to offer a handhold. x

Turquoisetamborine Sat 01-Apr-17 19:49:51

I'm so sorry you're in this worrying situation and I'm hoping for the best outcome for your baby.

PJ04JCW Sat 01-Apr-17 19:49:53

No advice but lots of love. My niece was born just short of 28 weeks and she is 8 and totally fine. Wishing you all the best.

Instasista Sat 01-Apr-17 19:51:04

Oh you poor thing. Absolute best of luck and wishing you lots of love and light

marmitecrumpets Sat 01-Apr-17 19:51:35

No medical advice but I'm sending good vibes.
I think if I was in your position, I'd deliver too. You waited last time and the worst happened sad
At least there is a chance of her being okay if she is delivered tomorrow. She will probably be in hospital for a while, but she will be getting fantastic care I'm sure xx

MoreThanUs Sat 01-Apr-17 19:51:45

Will be thinking of you both tomorrow.

NoArmaniNoPunani Sat 01-Apr-17 19:52:00

Best of luck OP. Thinking of you flowers

ImYourMama Sat 01-Apr-17 19:52:03

My DD was born at 28+6 and was in hospital for 7 weeks, she's now 6 months old and thriving. I have everything crossed for you and your baby, do they have a treatment plan for when she's delivered?

Jetcatblackcat Sat 01-Apr-17 19:52:06

Lots of love and prayers for you and your little ones flowers

MaudGonneMad Sat 01-Apr-17 19:53:33

You poor thing. How worried you must be. I hope your little baby pulls through flowers

Gingerbreadmam Sat 01-Apr-17 19:53:58

alb so sorry to see you in this position, i was hoping things might improve for your pregnancy.

We have both had a stillborn, i hope seeing this baby alive will bring some joy and i will keep everthing crossed that they can work miracles for this one.

It's not the same situation and i never commented on the thread but i checked for updates on someone whos baby was born at 24 weeks i think and from what i remember that baby beat the odds and is doing well.

I will be thinkimg of you, sending you best wishes and hoping for the very best.

pombal Sat 01-Apr-17 19:54:07

There's no wrong or right decision here.
You just have to go with what you feel is best at the time.

As a HCP I have seen babies survive against the odds.

Sending you love and strength OP.

juniorcakeoff Sat 01-Apr-17 19:54:19

The doctors ought to be able to offer an opinion, what a cop-out. Babies born past 28 weeks usually have good chances of long-term survival without issues, but I think we need to know what the condition is. If it's something like IUGR, then other people on here might be able to advise. Bliss forum used to have lots of experienced people on if its still going, also good advice on how to get through the NICU experience.

Tortycat Sat 01-Apr-17 19:54:54

Lots and lots of love and luck to you and your little oneflowers

Pancakeflipper Sat 01-Apr-17 19:55:24

I am so sorry you are going through this heartache.
I think you can only take things minute by minute, hour by hour. I hope the medical staff fully support you. I hope the medical condition(s) making her poorly aren't as serious as thought.
Be thinking of you and hope you all wrapped up in love to help get you through.

Cantchooseaname Sat 01-Apr-17 19:55:34

The drs have made it clear that there is no right/ wrong decision. You have chosen to fight and give her a chance. That is the right decision for you and your family, given what you know.
There will be lots of positive thoughts and love coming your way tomorrow.
Be kind to yourself.

BendingSpoons Sat 01-Apr-17 19:55:55

There is absolutely nothing selfish about what you are doing. You are in a difficult situation having to make that decision. Your love for your baby shows in your post. I really hope it goes well and I hope someone is here soon with more experience of your situation.

OpalIridescence Sat 01-Apr-17 19:57:12

Oh alb I am so sorry, what a position to be in.

I have no experience of this so can only imagine your feelings here, it is so unfair that you have to face this situation a second time.

I wish you every possible chance of a happy outcome and will be thinking of you all tomorrow.

GoldenOrb Sat 01-Apr-17 19:57:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaltySeaBird Sat 01-Apr-17 19:57:37

A friends 29 weeker is just about to celebrate her second birthday and is fine.

It's hard without the full story but if I'd had a stillbirth I'd deliver.

Thinking of you, good luck.

PunkrockerGirl Sat 01-Apr-17 19:57:57

No experience or advice, but sending you thoughts and prayers for tomorrow flowers

MsComplicated Sat 01-Apr-17 19:58:46

Cannot imagine what you are going through, Praying it all works out okay for you all flowers

My baby was born a little early and because of other issues after the birth we spent a few weeks in special care and in that time I was in awe of what the doctors can do now. Tiny tiny babies or extremely poorly ones beating the odds as the truly amazing nurses put their all into saving them.

3boys3dogshelp Sat 01-Apr-17 19:59:07

Oh Alb what an impossible situation to be in. Sorry I have no real help I just wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow. I really hope everything goes well. Please remember to be kind to yourself - whatever happens you have made the best decision you could to give your little one a chance with the information you have available right now.

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