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Ant advice on how to prepare for a premature baby? Anyone had cervical stitch?

(33 Posts)
LittleBairn Thu 15-Jan-15 16:33:13

I'm currently 26+4 and basically on borrowed time my consultant doesn't think I will go past 28 weeks.

So questions:
How many People were present at the delivery? I'm very very stressed out at the thought of birthing to an audience.

If you were on celexen(sp?) blood thinning injections when did you stop them, did it cause extra complications during birth? I was thinking I might prefer a C-section if possbe due to the whole audience issue.

How soon were you/DH/DP allowed into neonatal to see your baby?
I've read a few stories about not being allowed in for the first 6 hours, is this true? DH in particular will be querying the legality if so.

I would like to BF but understand this isn't possible to beginning but I can express BM. Afterwards did your baby manage BF at the breast?

Has anyone taken DHA supplements? Do you feel they made a difference? I've been taking some but just realised at 10mg its a low dose just about to order the higher dose ones from Nordic Naturals.

Is there anything I can do to prepare or do I just need to accept it and let the dr/midwives/nurses be in charge?

Anything you would like to been told in advance?

My story lost DS at 16 week, DD1 at 19 weeks and despite my history I was refused an early cervical stitch but was monitored closely.
At 20 weeks I was found to be funneling, only had 1.4mm left so a stitch was put in and then I was sent home after measuring 3.86. A week later I was 1.3 i was admitted for tilted bed rest for 5 weeks.
I got up to 1.8 but then on Tuesday found to be right back at the stitch, basically the tilt wasn't working and I've been allowed home on strict bed rest to wait it out.
We got the steroid injections at 24 weeks, I'm on Asprin, blood thining injections, Cyclogest pessaries and 1000mg of Vit C a day

The hospital has been evasive about what happens next in particular the deliver and neo natal care. All I've been told is they can't guarantee me & baby a bed (this is more to do with labour ward being over-crowded than neo-natal) I was warned because they would want to send me to the hospital my babies died in.
Under no circumstances will I accept this we are just about to start dealing with them due to their incompetence contributing to my DDs death and we know recently that there was an investigation into the neo-natal unit and the unusual amounts of neo-natal deaths.

HerRoyalNotness Thu 15-Jan-15 17:16:12

I can't help much, but bumping for you, and hope it all works out.

I had an EMCS as DD was in fetal distress and there were about 5 people there, plus another team of 3 for DD.

We weren't allowed to see her for the first few hours as she was having her tests, xrays, exams, and her navel tube put in. I don't think it's unusual that you can't seem them straight away, I'm not sure you'd want to see the procedures iyswim. I couldn't get to her the first day anyway as I was flat out in agony on morphine after the c-section. If you can avoid it while keeping your DD safe, I'd go for VB.

LittleBairn Thu 15-Jan-15 18:40:51

herroyal DH really wants to be with her because he has an irrational fear of her being mixed up. When we lost our first baby our DS we had to have an investigation to confirm we burried the right baby. We were sure we has and it was resolved quickly but it traumatised DH.
Our experiences during the last two pregnancies mean we trust no one.

LittleBairn Thu 15-Jan-15 18:42:00

You raise a good point about vaginal at least I would be more mobile quicker. But then again I do believe I would be traumatised giving birth in front of room full of people.

HerRoyalNotness Thu 15-Jan-15 19:34:37

oh gosh, so terrible for you.
When our DD was lifted out, DH had arrived and watched as they put the arm and foot id bands on her before they took her to NICU. The theatre nurse also took photos and emailed them to me, we could have referred to those if there had been a problem too. Then there is the blood typing they do that can be matched to you also.

With you, the CS may work better, as you'd have the sheet up and only see the anaethetist and maybe a nurse anyway.

Have you talked it all through with your consultant about how you'd like it to happen, who NEEDS to be in the room if VB or if they are planning a CS anyway? Ask him if your DH can stay with the baby though and have it put in your notes. Is your consultant the one that will be leading the labour?

For my term baby VBs, one UK, there was only 1 midwife mostly, then another right at the end to take the baby. In Canada, there were about 3 drs and a nurse then the obgyn came in when i started pushing. At least one of the drs was a student though, which didn't bother me.

LittleBairn Thu 15-Jan-15 19:45:59

herRoyal thank you I will let DH know about the ID tags being put on straight away. He did suggest a permant marker I pointed out her skin is very fragile! I'm sure he will be fine once it's actually happening right now we have too much time right now to sit and think of what ifs.

I see my consultant next Thu I'm going to ask then if he doesn't have time to speak then (I'm in for a scan) to arrange a proper meeting so we can get some answers.
My consultant only seems to work there part time he's very senior and in demand but I'm sure anything he writes down will be respected.
But it was another Dr who did the stitch and whilst she seems to be a great surgeon she is dreadful at communicating, if my dr isn't a avalible it's usually her who takes over. She's basically monosyllabic but at least if I was to have a vaginal birth she wouldn't be chanting push at me. grin

neversleepagain Fri 16-Jan-15 21:02:04

I am so sorry you have such awful experiences. I wish you and your dh all the best for the arrival of your baby thanks

I had twins and there were a lot of people in the room - 12 in total. It is such an overwhelming experience that you really don't notice who is in the room. I only know because dh told me. I saw my twins briefly 3 hours after they were born.

LittleBairn Fri 16-Jan-15 22:15:01

neversleep thank you I'm hoping that if I do end up with an audience I will be so in the 'zone' I can detach myself from the situation.
I'm pleased to hear you didn't have to wait long to see your twins, I would be happy with a 3 hour wait.

todayiamfat Fri 16-Jan-15 22:22:18

LittleBairn-i have nc but know you from a few yrs ago on an antinatal thread I'm 'maybe'.

Anyway. I had my 'mayby' at 29 weeks. She was delivered by csection so cant comment on your birth questions. She needed resuscitation and a blood transfusion pretty much straight away.

DH was allowed down sometime that night. I delivered her at 8.30 and i reckon he went down around 10ish? It was definitely before we went to sleep.

Nicu is tough, sweetie. But also kind of magical. Yes you can express. I bf for a bit and she latched fine. But because of issues related to her not gaining weight, i had to formula feed with high calorie milk (after 5 mths)

She is nearly 2 and doing v well.

Your having a girl? I was told that this was an advantage as girls do better in nicu.

Good luck. Pm if you need anything xxxx

Crazyqueenofthecatladies Fri 16-Jan-15 23:03:33

They won't put tags on a preemie til a good 32-34 weeks. They are too small and vulnerable. Most of their bodies are clingfilmed if they are sub 30 weeks too to avoid dehydration through their unfinished skin so no to a marker either. But these babies do not get mixed up. They have 1:1 nursing around the clock. It would be like mixing up adult icu patients. Sub 29 seekers come out v bruised if born vaginally so cs is often a safer option. Good luck op.

LittleBairn Sat 17-Jan-15 03:40:41

today I was just about to PM you I had a really nice PM from the Maybies I was really suprised you lot remembered me and very touched. I'm glad your little girl is doing well.
Yes we are having a girl too interesting to hear that they may cope better in the Nicu.

crazy thank you I will ask my consultant about C-section concerning an under 29 weeks baby.
Don't worry I said no to marker I'm sure he really wouldn't have in the risk place we know from our first daughter how delicate their skin can be. It's a totally irrational fear anyway!

Crazyqueenofthecatladies Sat 17-Jan-15 07:52:23

I heard that too. Girls are tougher and they dont tend to give up like boys can I was told. She will have tags but they'll be in her incubator not on her.

LittleBairn Sat 17-Jan-15 08:39:00

Thanks Crazy she is a tough little fighter this one has already survived me having surgery. Her siblings were too they fought till the very end.

todayiamfat Sat 17-Jan-15 08:49:18

How big is she predicted to be LB?

The tags get stuck in clothes and when you take them home to wash you manage to close the whole hospital down. Alarms, flashing lights etc. Very embarrassing.

Huge huge good luck. I remember how scary this all is and I know things have been so so hard for you and your babies.

LB they don't really get the sucking reflex until 32 weeks, so she will be fed through an ng tube (after possibly a central line at first). They start off giving TPN (nutrients) and quickly move on to ebm.

I was able to harvest colostrum before delivery. Quite a lot in fact! But I knew delivery was within days. May not be the same advice for yourself.

You will need prem nappies (most supermarkets do them now) and in a few weeks time, some vests etc. It was a couple of weeks before we got that far.

All the luck in the world. There were 2 v prem (under 30 weeks) babies in our group in the end. Both are doing v well. I found stories like this helped.

Let me know if you have any questions. Doesn't matter if it's in a few weeks time etc xxxxxx

LittleBairn Sat 17-Jan-15 14:07:16

today dr wasn't specific but he says she's a good weight for her size, she always has been so far.

grin the alarm thing sounds like an even worse version of the dreaded supermarket bag alarm check.

Thank you for the heads up on BF.

I know that she's unlikely to fed at the breast but I've heard of cases where babies have managed it later in their stay/once home. I've actually nannied 3 premature babies & 1 toddler so I know they can have a lot of oral issues even later on its not something I'm going to beat myself up over if it doesn't work out.

I haven't had any leaks yet, I produced BM after my 2nd quite a shock since I was told at 19 weeks I wouldn't, so I already have a breast pump just in case.
How did you store it?
I'm 27 weeks tomorrow my consultant isn't too hopeful my stitch will hold out past 28 weeks. So it is fairly imminent, which I can't quite believe because (other than having a cold) I feel perfectly fine.
It's really all about how well the stitch hold I've never spontaneously laboured I was induced both times.

I hadn't even though of premature baby nappies so I will get DH to pick up some next time he's at supermarket.

I've worked out DH anxiety over not being with the baby straight after birth, it is because that was his role after we lost DS and DD.
He was the one to dress them, photograph them and take foot prints. For him that's his only fathering experience, he never felt them move in utero so it was hs only physical experience with them I think he's frightened if this baby dies he will have will have had that precious experience stolen from him.
I'm going to try have a talk with him tonight to get him to see he will eventually have all these expereinces with this baby he just needs to have some patients and faith.

todayiamfat Sat 17-Jan-15 15:36:45

Oh, LB that has bought tears eyes.

Her father did see her straight after birth (I didn't and that still hurts. When I see this experience on tv I always feel a physical pain). She was whisked away into a side room to be worked on. The surgeon messed up and didn't clamp her cord and she bled out and nearly died. We weren't told until the next day when all the poor nurses and drs came to ask how she was. Despite this, he was still allowed to see her. I warn you, his face was so scared when he came back to me. But i think that was the whole situation.

Re bm. The hospital will give you sterile bottles to store the milk. They will also loan you a double pump. The ones at our first hospital were way way better. The ones at the hospital she was transfered to where rubbish and I managed fine with my single medula pump (I bought a second one off ebay).

Dd was bf for some feeds. The hospital really encouraged it. I bf my first so really wanted to do the same. But dd2 was so so tiny (she was 2lbs 2 at birth and came home at 3.5lbs) that it was too difficult to do for every feed. She did bf at least one feed until 5 months though and then her consultant asked me to stop and switch to the prescription formula to try and get her to gain weight.

LB get some baggy tops that you can put baby down to do kangaroo care. We werent allowed to hold her until the 2nd week. But stretchy tops that are low cut are perfect.

I will pm you xx

LittleBairn Sat 17-Jan-15 15:47:29

today I so sorry you didn't get to see your DD as she was born. One of my ex bosses had the same experience (worse her toxic mother saw her son before she did and gloated about it) and it effected her for a long time.
I can't watch births because that moment when the baby cries is just to painful.

I'm glad the dr looked scared so he should have been!

Thank you for the tops tip I've got lots of baggy T-shirts since I've been in bed for 3 months but none that are low cut.

GatherlyGal Sat 17-Jan-15 16:09:16

Don't worry about people being in the room - ds was born at 32 weeks and the team from nicu came too early really and were hanging around waiting for him to appear but I didn't really notice.
You can still feed just express and store and it goes down the tube. Ds didn't gain weight quick enough and I had to fight to stop them giving formula (when there was a fridge full of my expressed milk!). I did agree to them adding fortifier to my milk though.
Very good luck and well done for getting this far. I had 2 stitches with both dds and none with ds who came early.
I found it hard to find decent clothes - loads of prem clothes were a strange shape and huge on ds.
He looked a bit like a frog to start with as his legs were a bunched up! Changing those early nappies was very fiddly!
Good luck again.

LittleBairn Sat 17-Jan-15 17:04:09

Gatherly I'm hoping that I can just disconnect like that, I know from having my stitch put in its quite easy to become detached from the situation.

But I do still get upset, and feel violated that I wasn't consented/informed about a whole load of medical students being present for the cervical resistance study. They made a big deal about introducing all the drs & nurses and their roles yet kept quite about the students. I noticed them at the lower end of my body just as the GA took affect.
I don't want to have to deal with those feelings again while also trying to deal with a baby in neonatal care.

CrispyFern Sat 17-Jan-15 17:17:09

You should probably rent a hospital grade breast pump, rather than use a normal one. They are a hundred times better.

Oh, and you can ask for donated breast milk if you feel strongly about it, rather than formula, if you can't produce enough to begin with.

My DD didn't have any milk for a few days, just, I'm not sure, some sort of fluids straight into her veins? So I was able to start producing milk by the time she needed some, but I don't know if that's always what happens. And you may not care about that anyway.

Best of luck.

Oh! Maybe see if your DH can have a look round the NICU now, sometimes it's nicer if it is more familiar. And there is no way your baby could get mixed up - as someone else said it is one to one care, the nurse will basically be with your baby all the time. Plus there are probably only going to be two or three other babies in there, so I hope that sets your mind at rest about that. X

GatherlyGal Sat 17-Jan-15 17:24:42

Little that is very hard if there were people there that you hadn't been told about. Basically my labour was so long (off and on as preemie labours often are) that by the time I was actually pushing I was so beyond knackered that I wouldn't have cared who was in there.

I really think that when you are in labour your body takes over and is very good at doing what it needs to do which is giving birth to a baby and really at that point little else matters.

CelticPromise Sat 17-Jan-15 17:24:46

I'm sorry for what you've been through.

I had a CS at 27 weeks and a growth restricted baby. In your situation I'm sure you wouldn't be recommended to express antenatally as it is thought the stimulation might trigger labour. But ASAP after birth. You can look up hand expressing- if your hospital has the Best Beginnings dvds there is a demo on there.

I fully bf my son- he was tube fed for 10 weeks and then he had a combination of ebm and bf until he came home fully bf. I had to be quite bloody minded about it and refused the consultant's advice to introduce some formula for weight gain.

My son definitely had a label on his hat and I'm pretty sure he had an id band too. DH saw him straight after birth as they stabilised him and then within an hour or so. I had to wait about 4 hours because of cs.

I wish you all the best. 28 week babies do very well with the right care smile

LittleBairn Sat 17-Jan-15 17:25:03

Crispy I was thinking of buying an electric pump but I know hospitals allow you to borrow them. If I'm not RE-hospitalised by Thursday (im on a sort of a weekly licence) my next scan date I will look into it.

Good reminder about Donar milk I know this hospital has a system in place because I contacted them when my milk came in after my DD but they felt I was too soon and it would be best if I didn't.
I do really want to BF so hopefully it does come in and we don't have to long to wait.

I've heard of people being shown around NICU in advance but I'm not sure how I feel about it, seems a bit intrusive to go and gape at the sick babies.
But I can see how it will be helpful especially for DH.

LittleBairn Sat 17-Jan-15 17:34:31

gatherly that's what I'm hoping its really helpful to have people who have experienced it to explain it too. I'm told to expect a quick labour, I do labour very quickly and it seems star yard for weak cervixs.

celtic I was just thinking bad idea to express ante-natally since its reccomended to stimulate labour (my cousin right this moment being induced so its been the family topic of once ration lately) so I won't do anything to encourage it.
It's so encouraging to here that you managed to BF.

Label on hat sounds a good idea, maybe I should knit one? Mind you that would mean we need to agree on a name which I can't see happening anytime soon.

It's nice to hear that you both got to see him so soon, although it must have felt very long during the wait.

I'm reading 'Hold your Prem' right now it seems very useful.

CelticPromise Sat 17-Jan-15 19:28:47

I was off my face on drugs from the CS so the wait didn't seem too bad. DH had to go hunting for a wheelchair though. We did look round NICU before and it helped me to be able to picture where he was and know the basics like where I would wash my hands. I would recommend it. We just looked at the layout not closeup at any babies.

They gave him the hat, there are specific ones to hold the breathing support on and the hospital sticker just had my name and his number on so don't worry about names.

Very happy to answer any questions about bf or anything at all.

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