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Deciding to have a second after prematurity?

(7 Posts)
Annbag Sun 14-Dec-14 20:31:11

Hoping for some advice / reassurance. Before having DS1, we'd always said we'd like a second if we could and for them to be close in age. Then I had placenta praevia and DS was born late pre-term. I now have half my brain wanting to TTC as planned and the other half having the fear. Also one midwife told me and DH to not get pregnant for at least a year, in all the chaos we never asked why and can't find out now! Also can't get any useful stats on how likely it would be to happen again - I had zero of the risk factors last time, although next time I'll have the previous praevia and c-section as risk factors of another praevia.

Just wondering, if it's not too personal, how you decided whether or not to try again after a premature baby? And how did you cope with pregnancy? At least the first time I was blissfully naïve, I guess I'd be terrified the next time?

MissMedusa Mon 15-Dec-14 11:58:55

I completely understand your trepidation, I feel exactly the same way. I carry a lot of guilt with me about my body failing and not being able to carry my baby to term but at least I only give myself passive fault rather than active as I had no idea and couldn't have done anything differently. With the next one, I know going in that there are risks and therefore if things go bad again, there's a whole other level of fault there having knowingly put another baby at risk. If that makes sense? We got very lucky with this one as he's completely healthy and developing very well but what if we're not so lucky next time? Is it fair to put that baby at risk?

That said, my situation is quite extreme. My baby was born very early at 28 weeks, I had an emergency cerclage done but dilated through that at 23 weeks but managed to hang on for 5 weeks dilated at 4cm. I have an incompetent cervix so the same thing is likely to happen although it might be different if I had the cerclage placed earlier.I'm not saying never but right now I'm just so happy that things have worked out as well as they have that I really don't want another right now.

The advice from your midwife regarding waiting a year is standard advice they give every one who has had a c-section to make sure everything has healed properly before putting your body through the stress of pregnancy again.

Annbag Mon 15-Dec-14 16:10:23

Yes that's exactly it, I still feel guilty about not going to term too and to enter into it knowingly (kind of...I've been told both that another praevia is more likely and that it probably won't happen by different people, so the advice is mixed) feels quite difficult to do.

Thank you for telling me the year thing is because of the c section. I wish they'd write stuff down, in all the chaos very little information stuck in my brain!

MultipleMama Mon 15-Dec-14 20:16:46

Hello.

My decision was taken from me regarding getting pregnant. We had decided not to have anymore as DH was terrified we'd have another preterm baby, it was such a hard decision to make but we thought it was the best thing and my body really needed a break, however I was already unknowingly pregnant when we made that decision, coming to grips with it was hard.

We never really settled into the pregnancy, we were happy but the worries were there and then we found out there was something wrong with that baby and would have to be delivered early but that too was taken out of our hands when I gave birth unexpectedly at home at 26 weeks.

At our 12 (well 13 week) scan I enquired about the possibility of another premature baby and they said there is no reason, regarding I stay on top of my B12 injections and iron levels, that shouldn't have a normal, healthy full term pregnancy, and it improved my chances that I had previously had 3 healthy pregnancies.

I don't believe both premature births were related. Both caused by different things that were out of our control, however, I am wary because I did go into labour with no known cause; my placenta, uterus, fluid, cervix etc was completely healthy and fine.

Honestly I'd say it's a 50/50 chance. If you have no known medical issues that could cause you to go into premature labour, or your baby is healthy (and if problems occur don't affect how long you carry) then I don't see any reason why you couldn't go on to have a full term pregnancy smile

Annbag Wed 17-Dec-14 10:40:52

Thank you for your replies. I guess it is just a lottery isn't it, even the medics can't decide if I'd be likely to have the same thing again (and of course I could have a different thing)

Thanks again

Summerdaydreams Wed 17-Dec-14 20:26:02

I am in a similar situation. Dc1 full term, dc2, full placenta praevia delivered at 26weeks. We would love another DC, but I am torn, my Heart says sod it go for it, my head says I'd be mad. My premmie has CP as a result of her early arrival and my terrible pregnancy, which is another reason why I am uncertain. I was told the previa is all down to where the egg implants and was just bad luck. I too had no risk factors.....

Annbag Wed 17-Dec-14 20:42:05

Hi summer thanks for your reply. Praevia is so scary isn't it. Ive been told similar to you, that the egg might implant higher up next time. But also that due to the c section scar and other surgical damage (it all started to go rather wrong during surgery) that's there's more chance of the egg implanting lower, so I'll have risk factors...and I'll be officially 'old' according to the NHS!

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