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just a few words...

(12 Posts)
bemybebe Thu 09-Jun-11 07:07:47

i am in shock. my beautiful baby girl was born yesterday at 3 am at 24+1... nothing led me to think that something was seriously wrong with the pregnancy, i had some very mild cramping but was first reassured that all is fine at this stage of my pregnancy. the pains got stronger and i went to the local hospital (i am abroad at the moment), where i was told that i was already 4 cm dialated. they tried to save the pregnancy but the contractions got still stronger, waters started leaking and the baby came out a few hours later.

she is so beautiful and perfect for her age, there is nothing wrong at all with her. it later came to light that i got an infection from ...who knows what sad I was very busy running around and my cervix might have just opened a touch to let enough infection in... and she just could not stay with me for longer. after years of trying, several IVFs, mcs and depression this natural pregnancy was like a blessing from the skies. now what?..

she is in the baby intensive care, dressed in cute knitted socks and a hat being cared for by an amazing team of doctors and nurses. they told me she is a real fighter (with apgar of 7 and 8), but she just came out just so so so early! there is a struggle for her every single day and even if she beats all the odds her life past this critical stage may prove a daily battle. what on earth do i wish for with these odds??

I miss her kicking inside me, I morn my lost 3.5 months of pregnancy for her sake and with nobody close around me at the moment I just do not know how to calm myself down but to write here... thank you for listening!!

efeslight Thu 09-Jun-11 08:34:57

bemybebe, congratulations on your little girl.
how heavy is she? Where are you? have you got people on their way to you both?
try to get some support and try to have faith in the doctors and nurses, they've seen it all before and know exactly what to do.
is there someone within the hospital you can talk to, a dr or nurse you feel comfortable with or a counsellor? are they any other parents around?
how are you after the birth?
i know this must be extremely difficult, you have my best wishes and thoughts with you both.

bemybebe Thu 09-Jun-11 08:55:20

thank you efeslight. she is beautiful but tiny 680g.
doctors and nurses are great here. this is a fantastic clinic and they do have experiences with similar age babies, but from what i understand not yet 24 weekers. i have great faith in them, but numbers speak for themselves. i watched a BBC programme about the "viability" issue, so can imagine what are the odds for a relatively good outcome.
i do not have my dh on the way as he needs a visa to come over, it takes ages and jumping through hoops to arrange and he is abroad himself at the moment... but we will start arranging now. i am just at such a loss. i was going to be away just for a week in the middle of the pregnancy that was going so well..
a psychologist is visiting me today to help me building a strategy to cope. i so much need this help with my history.

bemybebe Thu 09-Jun-11 08:59:07

oh, yeah, i am absolutely fine after birth, still rather infected, so i am getting elephant doses of medication. funny, the doctors said even with good composure people have difficulties coping with levels of pain i should have had during the birth, but i honestly did not feel anything more than what i can describe as "mild", so i do have strange doubts about my ability to interpret pain intensity... very strange

Mandy21 Thu 09-Jun-11 10:05:07

If its any consolation, I had my twins at 27weeks and became part of a BLISS support group at my local hospital (the premature baby charity). I got to know a little girl who was born at 24 weeks exactly and she was a normal, healthy little girl. She was in hospital for a few months to begin with, and was monitored afterwards, but she was fine. She had a few minor issues with her lungs (so had a couple of overnight stays in hospital as a toddler with chest infections) but you'd never guess otherwise she'd been so early.

Wishing you and your baby lots of luck. Congratulations.

Mandy

efeslight Thu 09-Jun-11 10:26:14

our little boy was born abroad, where we are still living, and i found it very difficult, felt very lonely, didn't know about mumsnet at the time, so felt i had no one to talk to. some of the drs/nurses spoke english, so luckily we could still understand what was happening. born at 28 weeks, 780g and doing really well now.
i hope visas can be organised quickly, and you have some help soon.

bemybebe Thu 09-Jun-11 15:00:19

thank you mandy and efeslight it is so reassuring to hear positive stories. though i now it is a beginning of a long and bumpy ride and i have lots of conflicting emotions overtaking me from time to time. the positive side here is that the baby is doing well and it is the best hospital for her in the country i am in.

clabsyqueen Fri 10-Jun-11 15:07:11

Oh my gosh - Don't think about the future just yet. You have more than enough in the here and now! You must be very scared but your little lady survived the labour process with a good apgar score - she sounds strong! The next few days are very important for her but you can find many many success stories of how well little ones can do with good care and it sounds like you have good care. I have been researching this in-depth as my little one might have to come out at any day now due to my placenta failing (27+1 630g estimate). Wishing you and your little lady all very best of luck and I hope that you get some emotional support very soon but until then the ladies on here can be very helpful! X

WillbeanChariot Fri 10-Jun-11 15:17:52

Congratulations on the birth of your gorgeous little girl, albeit in such shocking circumstances. 24 weeks is very early but there is lots of hope. How is she doing with her breathing? Is she on a ventilator? I am glad you are confident she is being well looked after. Hope you are getting good care too. Are you expressing? How's it all going?

There is excellent info available on the Bliss website at bliss.org.uk. There are many leaflets that you can download and a message board with lots of mums of 24 weekers.

My son was a bit later (27 weeks) but tiny at 560g. He had a tough time but is getting on for two now and doing very well. Will be thinking of you and willing your daughter on. Statistically girls do better so she has a lot going for her. All the best.

evitas Sat 11-Jun-11 23:01:22

bemybebe, just wanted to say congratulations. I hope your DH can join you soon. Make sure you take care of yourself. Wishing you and your baby good luck . Thinking of you.

Tigerlily49 Sun 12-Jun-11 23:45:29

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter. It is wonderful news that she is doing so well and that you have good faith in the staff caring for her. I could have written your post myself back in Aug '09 when my DD2 was born unexpectedly at 23 weeks and 5 days. I was completely overwhelmed and terrified of what would lie ahead, as you say the statistics are very frightening. She was a similar weight to your daughter at 660g and also had good apgars (she cried at birth, which I remember being really surprised at).

I would never have believed it at the begining of this journey (and still pinch myself every day), but we are one of the positive stories, it is now almost 18 months since our daughter's due date and she is a gorgeous, bright and very happy toddler. She now has no health issues at all, no medications, no hospital admittances since she came home, is walking, her speech is a little delayed but her understanding is great, hearing and sight are perfect as far as anyone can tell. Not an outcome we even dreamt would be possible when she was first born, when we were taking things literally hour by hour, or minute by minute at times. I know we are incredibly lucky, but I can't tell you how many hours I have spent torturing myself about what the future would bring, what her quality of life would be... a waste of energy looking back....

Things are great now, but it has been a rollercoaster of a journey, never knowing what to expect, I think that is the worst thing. Are you expressing? I know you've been unwell yourself so it may be the last thing you feel like, however I know for me, this gave the days some rhythm and purpose when I felt so utterly helpless, it also felt like at least some kind of physical connection to the baby, when mourning the loss of the pregnancy (and I think this is a real grieving process, really tough to get through like any other grief). Keeping up the expressing also enabled my daughter to come home fully breastfed, which was great for her and also for me a kind of normality when everything else about her birth was so abnormal.

I am sending you and your daughter enormous hugs and do hope that you get the support you need very soon. All the best xxx

MichaelaS Tue 14-Jun-11 02:26:16

Hi there, just wanted to say congratulations too, and hang on in there.

My DS was born at 24+1 too, and weighed 620g. It is a huge shock and a real culture shock getting used to how the NICU worked and what all the terms meant. There is hope, as others have said just hang in there and trust the doctors and nurses to do their job. Your daughter still knows and needs you though, you're her mummy and noone else.

In terms of chances, they might be better than you fear. A lot of babies that don't survive don't make it to the NICU, they pass away in the delivery suite. That means the chances for those like your daughter who make it to NICU are better than the quoted figures. Also, girls tend to do better than boys. So you have every chance that your daughter will do well.

I'd really recommend going over to the bliss message board, it saved my sanity when I was in the same situation. Good luck and let us know how you get on. Hope your DH can get to you soon too.

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