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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Struggling with wait for abortion

18 replies

Manyface · 14/02/2021 19:21

Called BPAS yesterday and have to wait 2 weeks for the consultation im already 6 weeks and now im panicking as im already feeling so sick!
I have 2 children and cannot have a 3rd for many reasons. I feel like such a twat being in this situation that I never thought I would be in. Husband is going to get a vasectomy as soon as this is over so it never happens again.
I work full time for NHS and I just don't know how im going to cope for 2 weeks of vomiting how will I hide this! I dont feel I can tell anyone without judgement.
Has anyone been through this recently and is it quick once you have the telephone consultation? I did call Marie stopes and they don't provide a service in my area either.
Im terrified of going through this anyway and the wait is just agony.

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Crabwoman · 14/02/2021 19:37

Hi. I could have written your story, so please have a handhold.

Yes, it was quick and you will get through it. The symptoms are worse because there is little joy in the process.

I can't offer any more advice, but I would say one thing. It is ok to be upset, it is ok to affected by it.

Take some time off after (annual leave or schedule it for a friday?) to get yourself straight and take any counselling or support you need. I did tell a colleague but did say it wasn't a viable pregnancy (not entirely unture) which helped.

It was an easy decision for me, but that doesn't mean the process was easy. And that's ok. Flowers

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Talkabtit101 · 15/02/2021 06:09

I was in the same situation, called 26/01 and then didn't have my consultation until 10/02, it marked me around 8weeks. The wait was the hardest, especially as I knew I'd be 100% having the termination. I didn't eat for a solid 3/4 days before the consultation and started the abortion process 13/02, doing the worse yesterday. Feel free to PM and x

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melanieg88 · 15/02/2021 17:00

I know exactly how you feel, i had to wait 2 weeks for consultation and now another 7 days for a scan appointment which is this week. I've had terrible sickness 24/7 and had to take some annual leave this week as i can't face work. Pm me if you want to talk, i also have 2 older children 😭

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Goodebe · 15/02/2021 17:06

Hi, I managed to book a private procedure much more quickly than my wait would have been otherwise - is that an option for you? Apologies if that’s already what you are looking at, and a hand hold as the symptoms are awful especially when other children to care for.

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Manyface · 16/02/2021 14:24

Thanks everyone for the replies I have been wallowing in my own self pity! I rang the GP and asked for anti sickness as I said I cannot cope with it luckily she was very understanding.

Also likewise I hope others going through this are OK too.

I managed to book 3 days annual leave this week but due to nature of my role I've still had colleagues messaging me asking me about work related things.

Unfortunately I can't really afford a private procedure at the moment but thanks anyway! Got 11 days left to wait now talk about wishing my life away!

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EverybodyKeepCool · 17/02/2021 09:51

Do you have NUPAS locallyIsh to you? I've just been through the same experience and they were pretty quick at the phone consultation and then I had to go for a scan (usually don't but there were a couple of issues) I called on 21/1, consultation on 28/1, scan 1/2, started procedure same day

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Gbon · 25/02/2021 08:02

Hi, I’ve just yesterday had my abortion, I did the tablets at home. At first BPAS said the next available apt was in 3 weeks. This was not possibly for me at all! I recommend ringing everyday for cancellations. I rung the next day and was lucky enough to get a cancellation that week! So I had my phone call on Thursday and had to have a scan which was on Tuesday. Then the abortion process started that same day.
If you still struggle to go private it is £350 same day phone call. If I didn’t get that cancellation I would have definitely gone privately. I hope it all goes well for you xx

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Manyface · 27/02/2021 09:11

So my tablets are arriving today only had my call yesterday I am so excited to get it over and done with but shit scared also. I have suffered with health anxiety in the past and this is triggering thinking of all the what ifs like bleeding excessively and all the risks they go through on the phone etc but I've got to just get it over and done with!

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Gbon · 27/02/2021 09:42

Everyone is different but I scared myself so much by reading all the horror stories online, and it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t easy and I definitely recommend getting some sickness tablets for the second tablets, it was a long day for me.I did mine on Wednesday I inserted my 4 tablets at 9 am then the other 2 at 12.. and nothing started to happen until about 4, at 6 I had severe pain for a couple of seconds, was then was sick and I think then the pregnancy passed at about 7. After that it was fine!
I’m struggling a bit yesterday and today with cramps and passing little blood clots.
But honestly it not as bad as you think it’s going to be.
Good luck and message me if you have any questions x

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Manyface · 28/02/2021 10:12

Thank you I took the first pill and felt ok until this morning when I was so sick! Had to go to work going to do the second lot or pills when I get home. Thanks for the heads up I have some anti sickness at home so will take one when I get home and hope it works before!

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AwFeebs · 28/02/2021 10:18

@Manyface hope you're feeling a bit better. The first set of tablets I found OK but the second set also had me running to the toilet with diarrhoea. Sorry TMI Blush

Take time and be kind to yourself. Flowers

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Manyface · 28/02/2021 13:42

Thanks ive just put the tablets in im so fucking scared!! No turning back now.

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Mamof · 01/06/2021 16:52

@Manyface just read your post how did you get on? x

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Forever1337 · 25/10/2021 00:17

Hi there was the private procedure option also with bpas? Thank you for any help!
I have a two week wait and I'm struggling :(

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Forever1337 · 25/10/2021 00:20

@Goodebe
Hi there was the private procedure option also with bpas? Thank you for any help!
I have a two week wait and I'm struggling Sad

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Archer19 · 17/01/2022 16:29

I had to wait 3 weeks for my consultation and now I’m over the legal time for the abortion pills and have to wait and see if they will let me have a surgical abortion. This service is absolutely awful. They are a nightmare to get hold of and don’t seem to understand that I can’t just answer random calls from them as I’m working. It’s making this whole horrible situation 10 times worse

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squishymarshmellow · 17/01/2022 16:40

@Archer19

I had to wait 3 weeks for my consultation and now I’m over the legal time for the abortion pills and have to wait and see if they will let me have a surgical abortion. This service is absolutely awful. They are a nightmare to get hold of and don’t seem to understand that I can’t just answer random calls from them as I’m working. It’s making this whole horrible situation 10 times worse

What region do you live in? I had to wait almost 5 weeks for treatment and had medical management on a ward today as I was 10+6.

The wait is awful and I struggled with BPAS, in the end I gave up with them and referred myself to my local hospital.

I was terrified and I know this isn't everyone's experience, but it was completely painless and has passed everything within 2 hours of the tablets going in.
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Archer19 · 17/01/2022 16:55

I’m in Bedfordshire. If they allow me to get the surgical procedure under it will be under local anaesthetic and I will have to drive myself to and from the clinic which they’ve booked me in at that is an hour and 45 mins away from where I live. I’m appalled by this service. I’m hoping my local hospital will be able to help so that I’m not forced to keep the pregnancy. I’m not sure how far along I am it could be between 15 and 12 weeks and they just keep messing me around

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