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My girlfriend has become off with me during pregnancy for no reason.

(58 Posts)
Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 18:04:22

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littleeggcup Mon 11-Jan-21 18:11:59

Was it both your choice to have a termination?

CandyLeBonBon Mon 11-Jan-21 18:15:07

Well there's a lot to unpack there. Was the pregnancy planned? How long have you both known she was pregnant? Did you discuss a termination. There's too much in your op to make any kind of reasonable suggestion. What's the backstory?

Aquamarine1029 Mon 11-Jan-21 18:18:28

It sounds as though you are both female. How did she get pregnant? Was it on purpose? Your post is rather confusing.

Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 18:23:08

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Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 18:25:47

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Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 18:26:26

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Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 18:32:30

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ShalomToYouJackie Mon 11-Jan-21 18:34:28

I assumed you were female too as you said you wore perfume.

Nobody here knows if her feelings will change again or not. It might be pregnancy hormones or it might be that the very real prospect of having a child with you and spending her life with her made her realise her feelings had changed towards you

HoofWankingSpangleCunt Mon 11-Jan-21 18:35:01

Don't be rude to aquamarine. Possibly she said it because you said about your "perfume". I thought the same .

Anyway, what are you wanting us to tell you? It's her you need to be talking to, not us .

Ostryga Mon 11-Jan-21 18:38:05

You need to sit down and have a conversation with her. Don’t push her into anything, just talk to her.

It might be this is irretrievably broken, in which case you need to let her get on with her life.

CandyLeBonBon Mon 11-Jan-21 18:58:50

Honestly your op is a bit vague @Sami1993 - she's 7 weeks pregnant, you 'feel' she got pregnant in December and you e both decided a termination was the right thing to do? At that early stage, the most common symptom is needing to pee a lot and overwhelming tiredness. The 'pregnancy hormones' that seem to get blamed fir a lot of poor behaviour is not always as obvious at that stage of pregnancy tbh.

Only you and your partner can answer the question of whether she still feels the same about you. Have you been together long?

Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 19:07:06

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Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 19:07:31

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ShalomToYouJackie Mon 11-Jan-21 19:11:00

So you were only together a month when she got pregnant?

CandyLeBonBon Mon 11-Jan-21 19:23:14

Sami1993

Okay fair enough, well she has been sick for the past 3 weeks so perhaps she’s 8 weeks pregnant which means she was pregnant in November ? So we’ve been together for nearly 3 months but we’ve gotten so close as she stays at mine all the time.


Right. Sorry but a three month relationship is barely even a relationship. But even at 8 weeks pregnant (and yes, sickness is a thing, obviously - it was with all 5 of my pregnancies at that stage) but the point is it's entirely possible that getting pregnant so soon after getting together with you has made her realise this isn't the relationship for you. That's a lot of pressure too soon.

How old are you both?

Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 19:38:37

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Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 19:39:01

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CandyLeBonBon Mon 11-Jan-21 20:22:00

Sami1993

I understand how you can interpret what we have as barely a relationship but have spent all our time together since we liked each other so you can get a lot closer with someone within 3 months,
So she’s 23 and I’ve just turned 27.


Sorry op. 3 months is not a relationship. Hence the situation you are in and you're kidding yourself if you think it is.

Palavah Mon 11-Jan-21 20:33:32

It's telling that you're more concerned about whether she's going to be more interested in you after the termination, and not about whether she is ok ohysically and mentally and how to support her through the termination process.

Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 20:45:09

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MindyStClaire Mon 11-Jan-21 20:51:01

First of all, it's not an insult if someone thinks you're a woman.

Second, you won't get a good response to a misogynistic term like "Karen" on here.

Third... An unplanned pregnancy and termination is a huge thing for her to go through. Even if there's nothing physically affecting her (and there will be), she'll be all over the place. Three months is a very new relationship and she may indeed be rethinking things.

Trumplosttheelection Mon 11-Jan-21 20:54:30

It's really not all about you op. A termination three months in would derail many relationships and it probably has knackered yours. You would be best served trying to support her and put your own feelings aside. She's been through a horrible ordeal. She does not need you demanding she love you so you feel better.

Sami1993 Mon 11-Jan-21 21:10:17

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Howzaboutye Mon 11-Jan-21 21:11:35

"will her feelings towards me ever come back"

Are you for real?
She had an abortion for goodness sake, not a exactly a trivial matter.
She may never actually get over this.

If you really loved her you would be more concerned over her physical and mental health. And how can you support her.

And how dare you accuse a poster with 'karen', so misogynistic.

Go look in the mirror for a good while and consider things.

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