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Medical termination tomorrow please HELP

(91 Posts)
Winternights812 Sun 29-Nov-20 03:45:07

Hi everyone,
This is my first time on mumsnet, it took me a while to firstly find how to start my own thread and now that I'm here I'm not really sure what to say.

I'm about 6 weeks pregnant, I called BPAS and I had my consultation and the nurse then sent me my pill package in the post. I'm so scared and worried, I can't even sleep. I've taken my first pill, but the other 4 I'll insert tomorrow.

I've read so many horror stories and now I'm so scared. It's my first time pregnant, I don't want my family to know or worry, my fiancé knows, but he lives in another city and doesn't really know how to help me properly.

Please let me know what I should do, should I take codeine and ibuprofen 30 mins before taking the 4 pills? I'm just so scared, I'm so sorry 😭

OP’s posts: |
lovelilies Sun 29-Nov-20 04:05:36

Sorry I don't have any personal experience with this, someone will be along soon who has, hopefully.
I do think it's sad women having to do this alone sad
Is there a BPA forum or FB group or anything where others in the same situation can discuss it?
From a medical perspective, if the pain becomes severe and/or you're soaking through more than a pad an hour please go to A&E.
Obviously it's not likely that will happen but (nurse here) I just wanted to make sure you're safe. Feeling very dizzy, fainting etc too, please get checked.
Hope you're ok thanks

Winternights812 Sun 29-Nov-20 04:11:35

Thank you so much for your response flowers
I think this whole situation is just making me more emotional, I can't tell my mum because I don't want to upset or worry her, and my siblings are all younger than me.

I'm not sure about any other forum, but reading through I felt like speaking to someone.

Thank you for responding and being so nice x

The waiting time of 24-48hrs before actually using the pills is the most deadly thing for me so far, it's agonising, I just want it to all pass through smoothly :'(

OP’s posts: |
Mel1917 Sun 29-Nov-20 11:10:28

I felt exactly the same as you. I have just recently had a medical abortion 10 days ago. I was the same read all the horror stories and expected the worst but I would like to be a little bit of reassurance that the worst part for me was the waiting and wondering/over thinking. Set yourself up in bed with something easy to watch,snacks and drinks and just "relax". I took my 2nd pills at 2.30 and not much happened first few hours (however I did take the pain relief before inserting) by about 7pm cramps were quite painful but manageable. I'd compare it to bad period pains / very early labour which is essentially the same as period pain anyway..

Just to to the toilet every hour or so. I didn't look but very certain I knew when the pregnancy passed then the pain eased off fairly quick after that.. I felt myself again the next day and bled for about 7 days.. The treatment itself was the "easy" part I feel personally. The build up the worry the waiting was much worse and if I'm honest this part after where I'm having to wait to do the test to confirm is a bit consuming aswell.. Just want to confirm it's all completed and move on. Sorry for long message but feel free to ask me any questions xx

Winternights812 Sun 29-Nov-20 12:59:14

Thank you so much @Mel1917 for such a reassuring message, your experience has really calmed my nerves.

I will be taking my pills very soon, probably around 2pm. I just feel wuite nauseated because of how much I've been worrying; hopefully that dies down.

I will like you, take pain relief before the pills, what would you recommend, about 30 mins before treatment?

Also, I'm just worried, if I set myself in bed I'll wake up and have leaked everywhere

OP’s posts: |
Mel1917 Sun 29-Nov-20 14:37:08

Think I'm a bit late now but yes I took them about 20mins before ibuprofen and codeine and kept myself topped up and it definately helped. That shouldn't happen - everyone is different but I never even filled a pad. I laid on a towel just incase but you almost feel like you need to go to the loo if that makes sense rather than constant like a period? All my bleeding really was done when I went to the loo. Was only the few days after when I was more active I found myself changing pads more frequently. Hope everything goes well for you. Try to just relax in bed I found that a huge help. X

Mel1917 Sun 29-Nov-20 14:38:23

From my experience laying down helped so much with the pain and made the bleeding easier.. As soon as I stood or sat on the loo it was heavy and uncomfortable. X

Winternights812 Sun 29-Nov-20 14:47:48

Hey @Mel1917
I just took my pills at 2:30 too x
I then took codeine and ibuprofen, so now it's just a waiting game. I've just been crying since, not sure why, I've got on 2 pads, one ultra thick and one ultra wide for the back side, should that be enough to avoid leakage?

I'm just sitting on my bed now, I don't really know what to do. Do you think I should go downstairs till pain kicks in or things get too uncomfortable, or just stay in my room, it's quite lonely sad

OP’s posts: |
Mel1917 Sun 29-Nov-20 14:52:44

Good luck with everything. You will be absoutley fine! I had a bit of a cry after my first lot of pills.

Like I said people may be different but all I used was asda own brand ultra night pad. Nothing happened for me really when I was laid down only when I sat on the loo. I've had no leakage at all throughout all of this.. I leak more on my Period (sorry tmi).. Gravity definately does its job on the loo. You've taken tablets at a good time so hopefully you'll have a good night's sleep.

Ah that's a hard one. I literally laid in bed all afternoon and night binge watching a box set.. I found that the best way but do what feels right for you xx

Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails Sun 29-Nov-20 15:07:36

Do whatever you feel you want to do. Go downstairs for now if you feel like it!

Have you got anything to "do" in bed? Tv? Film? A book? Just something to sooth you?

Having a lay down on the sofa might be nice?

Winternights812 Sun 29-Nov-20 15:36:25

@Mel1917 thank you so much x
It's been an hour now, so far I'm fine, and haven't felt anything, just feels like something is going on in my lower tummy.

I feel like when I get up to go to the toilet it'll happen. I went downstairs for abit and spoke to my mum, I'm just taking precautions for the pain, hopefully it isn't too bad xx

@Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails hey, thank you so much for your reassurance and kind words x
I'm back upstairs on my bed now, just waiting, I have a book and I have netflix, I'm feeling quite sleepy too now, I might just nap x

OP’s posts: |
ChickaboomZoom Sun 29-Nov-20 16:24:49

@Winternights812
Big hugs to you firstly. flowers

I’ve just gone through this myself on Thursday. I was 5 weeks. I chose to terminate because I suffered severe HG in my last pregnancy and I would not have been able to survive that again, particularly during a pandemic. I have 4 kids so I asked my partner to take them out for a couple of hours so I could be on my own. I was so scared it would be awful (had read the horror stories) but it was actually pain free with the exception of 10 mins of light cramps about 6hrs in.

Keep hydrated and keep on top of painkillers for sure. I laid down for a little bit but also put music on and swayed and sort of “danced” a bit to help gravity work. I passed blood and some clots but nothing crazy and I never saw a sac or anything. Literally just like a heavier period. I did cry a lot which was actually very freeing to let it all out into the universe. I’m glad I had the privacy to do that.

I count myself pretty lucky as I didn’t have any side effects whatsoever... I fell asleep next to my toddler that night and slept really well. It’s the emotional part that is harder.

I hope things go as smoothly as possible for you and I’m happy to answer any questions. Will check back in to see how you are getting on. You’re not alone. Xx

Winternights812 Sun 29-Nov-20 16:30:58

@ChickaboomZoom thank you so much, that is so reassuring! I'm staying ontop of my painkillers and haven't had any cramping or bleeding so far. I took the 4 misoprostol pills at 2:30 (not orally), they didn't fall out either, fully absorbed in, maybe it'll kick in, in a short while, just a little worried for that, because my pad was completely clean.

I'm keepkng hydrated, just waiting to see what happens now x

Would you recommend me to walk around for abit, or sit up to maybe cause some flow? I'm just a little worried for that, I'll be taking the last two pills too at 6pm (vaginally) if there's no bleeding x

OP’s posts: |
ChickaboomZoom Sun 29-Nov-20 17:10:29

@Winternights812
You’re welcome, I’m just happy to help any other woman going through this because I know it’s not easy flowers

Yes if you feel up to it moving around can be helpful and also maybe a bit distracting which is why I ended up puttering about to music while I was waiting for things to kick off - they never really kicked off in terms of pain but definitely helped the flow.

For me I took 1000mg of paracetamol and 400mg of ibuprofen at 4.20pm on the 2nd day and then inserted 4 pills at 4.30pm, by 5.30pm there was light bleeding and no pain. By 6.30pm a bit more bleeding and some clots. I walked around, cried, danced and watched some YouTube. By 8.30pm I took some another 1000mg of paracetamol even though there still was no pain. I made myself some soup and watched more YouTube. Few more trips to the loo and some more clots. At around 10.30pm I felt some light cramping and took another 400mg of ibuprofen. Those cramps felt purposeful and I felt a mild pressure in my bum. I figured this is when things were coming to a conclusion. The cramps were very manageable and I went to the loo and some larger clots came and then the pain very quickly subsided, maybe lasted 10-15 mins total. I didn’t vomit, shake, have fever or diarrhoea or anything like that. I was fast asleep by 11pm. I was actually wondering if it had even worked? But I feel it has since my HG sickness has disappeared.

I never needed to take the extra 2 pills because the bleeding was quite steady. How are you going so far? Any bleeding or spotting? X

Winternights812 Sun 29-Nov-20 17:15:52

I've been moving around quite abit, like up and downstairs, I had to fill my hot water bottle again. It's been almost 3 hours since I took the pills, still nothing, I'm so worried now, my pad is completely clean!

When I inserted the 4 pills earlier, I made sure they were all fully inside before getting up to take painkillers, they didn't fall out either that's why I'm so confused now sad

OP’s posts: |
Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails Sun 29-Nov-20 17:35:20

Don't panic. It may take a little time. Take the next 2 at 6pm as instructed and try to ease your mind.

I'd move as much as you want to. Are you on your own? Do you have any snacks or something for dinner? I've never had a medical termination (I've had a surgical one), so I'm not really talking from experience! But when I'd probably end up doing some cleaning or cooking in this situation just to "do" something for a while if I didn't feel like being in bed/on the sofa.

ChickaboomZoom Sun 29-Nov-20 17:46:07

Ok hang in there hun. I think they say to use the extra 2 pills if it gets to 4 hours with no bleeding. I was also told that using the pills vaginally can sometimes mean the process is slower but you should have less side effects than taking them orally. It sounds like you’ve inserted them correctly and they dissolved just fine so I guess it’s just a waiting game which I know sucks a bit because the anxiety can be crazy. Happy to keep you company if you need. smile

Winternights812 Sun 29-Nov-20 17:57:32

@Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails thank you x

Turns out my family have ordered take out the day I'm so nauseous! I keep drinking green tea and water, so I don't get dehydrated, I also ate a banana, because I feel sick when I try to eat (I thinj it's a miroprostol side effect).

@ChickaboomZoom aww thank you so much, everyone's support is really making me super emotional! I inserted the last 2 pills at 5:40pm, as I put the previous 4 in at 2:20-2:30ish, this time I inserted them and just layed on my bed with my legs up for a few minutes, then back down, hoping for them to dissolve better x

Let's see what happens, I'm just waiting to feel anything! I took my painkillers again too, I have my hot water bottle on hand, so just laying here patiently now x

OP’s posts: |
Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails Sun 29-Nov-20 18:33:34

Do your family know what's going on?

ChickaboomZoom Sun 29-Nov-20 18:52:51

@Winternights812

Big hugs. It’s bloody hard I know. I terminated my first very pregnancy (surgical at 6 weeks) back when I was 21 and I felt really sad and alone back then too. I did go on to marry the guy and have 3 more kids, then divorced and have a 1yr old with my new partner. I’m 37 now and heck my body has been through so much. Being a woman is tough but I’m so grateful we at least live in a country where we have these options. I have 3 daughters and I would always want them to feel supported if they have to go through something like this one day. Sorry for rambling, I’m still a bit emotional and feeling philosophical about it all at times blush

hillarypcof Sun 29-Nov-20 19:52:04

@winternights812 Hi, just wanted to pop on and give you a virtual hand-hold 💕 I went through this a couple of months ago (I was the exact same dates/weeks as you) - just wanted to say that everything is going to be OK. Everything you gave described is totally normal. I read some awful horror stories before my medical termination (all via the phone/pills in the post like yours) but it was nothing like that at all! In fact, it was all very "textbook". Some lovely ladies on here reached out to me on my own thread and it was lovely to have their support through the whole thing in real time. I hope we can offer the same to you. Sending you big hugs - here if you have any questions at all xx

ForeverWondering Sun 29-Nov-20 19:57:36

I have been through this OP around 6 months ago.
Hand hold from me.
My bleeding didnt start until an hour after the last 2 tablets. I sat with a hot water bottle and some films and lots of sweeties and cuddles with me DC.
Was not as bad as I was expecting. Here it yiu want a chat though x

Winternights812 Sun 29-Nov-20 20:25:54

@Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails I've just told my mum I have bad period pains, I don't want her to worry x

@ChickaboomZoom aw I totally understand, I'm so emotional today and I'm 22, it's my first time going anything close to this and it's really hard x

@hillarypcof thank you so much! This has made me feel so much better, I'm so glad I reached out. You ladies are literally supporting me through this x

Thank you @ForeverWondering for the kind words and reassurance, it sounds like you took a long time to bleed just like myself, but I still haven't bled sad

So yesterday (Saturday) I started the treatment with the mifepristone pill at 12pm, it says to wait 1-2 days (24-48hrs), which I did. I waited 27hours and took the miroprostol pills today at 2:30pm, I had mild cramping, I kind of slightly felt something but nothing really because I fid take codeine and ibuprofen. At 5:40pm, so just over 3 hours later, I took the last 2 pills and it's been almost 3 hours and nothing has happened, I don't kniw what to do I'm so worried

OP’s posts: |
Ormally Sun 29-Nov-20 20:37:39

This time last week I was doing what you are doing. In the end it all came in quite a rush and it did take a while before starting the bleeding stage. The pain was more than the bleed although once that began, not too dramatically, things did not take as long as I thought. Afterwards the pain was more in the back, and also bad nausea with sickness for perhaps 6-7 hours (ah yes. Bananas. Even at 4 in the morning, and in normal life I hate the damn things). Felt a lot better in that respect the day after. Definitely every different part of the waiting stages were the worst.
I didn't 'leak' on the bed or floor, bled when going to the loo and also for several days after. 2 tablets did get passed back out which made me worry but I called the helpline and they asked me questions about when.
I really hope things move along ok for you. Hang in there.

hillarypcof Sun 29-Nov-20 20:39:21

@winternigts812 I'm glad we can be here for you 💕 I am 23, so similar age to you, and I'm glad I can be here for you to relate to. Don't panic about nothing happening yet - it varies from woman to woman. I took my 4 pills (vaginally) at 4pm, and by 9pm it was all over, but one of the ladies I was talking to on MN didn't have anything happen for about 6 hours, so really don't worry about it and just relax and nature will take its course when it is ready xxx

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