Unsure what to do

[sewherewego]

My partner and I recently found we are expecting. ( Due 21/08/22) We had just decided our family was complete and scheduled a snip. We have been together quite some time and have 3 children already. My extended family seems to be very anti child. When I announced the upcoming birth of my 3rd child many rude remarks were made about hoping we were getting fixed and how I was going to just keep getting fatter. This ended up causing a lot of tension and ruined relationships with family members I was once close with. This makes me very nervous of announcing another child, which should be a joyful occasion. When it comes to a support system my partner and I are very much on our own. We live hours from family and don't know many in our area as we just moved here about 6 months ago. Other than this we can financially/emotionally carry the burden of another child. I was initially very upset as we had just started enjoying hobbies that allow an identity outside of parenthood that we could not continue with a small child. I was also looking forward to aiming towards an new career that I could no longer.
I had ordered the medicine to do a home termination and have been waiting for it to arrive. Since this time I have done a ton of reading on it and the physical and emotional pain and uncertainty of taking the medication at home absolutely terrifies me.
I've also had a bit of time to wrap my head around a future that is slightly different than I had initially been visioning.
I am so terribly split in thought and haven't really had anyone to talk with about it other than my partner as many I know are not comfortable with terminations beyond medical reasons. Any outside perspective or advice on the matter is greatly appreciated.

[Ridiculousanx]

It sounds as if there's two issues.

1. To keep it or not.
2. If you're going to terminate, whether home termination is okay.

I never heard of home termination before, sorry. So no advice except if it's scary for you, could you not consider another method?

About keeping it. I wouldn't worry about extended family, since they're not all that present anyway. More important is your career and freedom. Is there any way you could keep done of the career, freedom stuff and have the baby? Personally, I don't think I could, but I've seen lots of mothers who combine hobbies and careers with babies.

[sewherewego]

No, career options would not be possible due to childcare. I also live in the middle of nowhere and sitters are not typically willing to come to our area for us to continue hobbies. It also cost far too much to hire sitters even for date nights.

There's really no option other than at home for terminations though.

[Ridiculousanx]

Well, best wishes with your decision, Sewherewego. I hope it turns out well for you, either way.

[sewherewego]

Thank you!

[sewherewego]

Ah, and to add more info since I was unable to elaborate so well earlier today. The home termination is mifepristone followed by misoprostol. The same medical termination that is typically done. Just, at home.