Please help, I have no idea what to do...

[Pleasehelp6]

I’m in shock so apologies if any of this is a mumbling mess.

I have four very lovely DC who were all very much planned and wanted. DH and I decided DC4 would be the last. We have a five bedroom home, seven seater car but one seat in the back needs to be folded to accommodate the pushchair and any bags etc. We live a fairly comfortable life, not hugely wealthy but we are able to give the DC a pretty nice life. They all have their own space within the home atm and our life has been working quite well.

Youngest DC is ten months old, still breastfed and I had a copper coil inserted when he was around three months old. I just had a weird feeling this week that something was amiss, no idea what. I have a cold but other than that, just feel my usual self so it really was just a weird hunch. I decided to buy and take a test on Monday. It was Clearblue which I know are renowned for false positives and evap lines, I got an incredibly faint line but it disappeared after 5 minutes so I figured it was an evap line. I decided to take a FRER today just to double check and it was positive within seconds, quite a strong positive too. I haven’t had periods on the coil, just irregular and erratic period like bleeding as and when my body pleases. Last time was 5-10th of August and it was quite heavy so I reckon at best I’d be 4 weeks pregnant.

I’ve literally just returned to work PT from mat leave, I teach so it can be a fairly stressful job. DH works FT, baby has just got settled in with the childminder and older one’s all happy at school. We were bumbling along in life I guess as most families do but now this has happened, it’s completely shocked me.

I don’t feel like telling DH just yet. We have been getting along so well in life lately, I feel like this would just be a massive bump in the road and I don’t feel like broaching it right now. I only have two close friends I would trust enough to tell but one is struggling to conceive and the other had a late miscarriage six months ago so I don’t feel it’s appropriate to tell either of them.

I’ve sat and thought hard about it for the past two hours since I did the test. I think a termination is the only logical solution but I’ve never had one before, who do you even contact? I feel angry this has even happened, I don’t know if my coil has become dislodged in some way or what. I’m so sad right now :(

[HoneyBee03]

Sorry you're in this difficult situation! I noticed you posted this earlier today, have you spoken to DH since then? I also had a close friend who was trying for a baby following a devastating miscarriage and she still doesn't know about my abortion 4 months ago. It felt insensitive to tell her.

If you're as early as you think, it feels so much easier to get your head around. My son was about the same age as your baby at the time. I was on the pill and I'm not sure how it failed. I was just 6 weeks when I went in for my appointment, making me 3 weeks when I took the test and booked myself in. What's most local to you - bpas or Marie stopes? A quick check on their websites will tell you. Bpas was my closest so I gave them a call and they were fantastic. I was very sure I wanted a medical abortion so was booked straight in for it, everything covered by NHS. If you're unsure they can just book you an appointment to speak with someone to help you decide. No pressure.

Tell your DH when you can, you need his support. I went to my appointment alone while my DH stayed home with the baby but he was so supportive on the other end of the phone at all times. I was so nervous but being at the clinic made me feel really in control. Despite the difficult and emotional situation I actually felt very positive. The staff and nurses were absolutely wonderful and understanding.

I took one tablet at the clinic, then inserted the other 4 at home which made me bleed. I felt very lightheaded (also decided a few glasses of wine would help....) but had no pain whatsoever. I bled for quite a few weeks! But it was far less difficult and traumatic than I was expecting. Every woman is different, it could be painful and emotional. But it also might not be.

I hope this helps. Good luck with whatever you go ahead and do. Keep your head high.

[lottelupin]

With the coil, there's a strong chance anyhow that the pregnancy might not be viable as can get tangled up/grow around the coil. So best to go to the doctors and find out ASAP. They usually advise termination so there very likely isn't even a choice. I'm so sorry as this is an awful situation to be in. Hope it gets sorted out v soon.