Unexpectedly pregnant with 2nd DC, we had a 3yo, both in late 30s/early 40s. We've talked about having another but aren't financially stable. DH has bad anxiety/depression and honestly I'm not enjoying our relationship at the moment but he's getting help and I hope that will improve things. He's a sahp and I work ft.
I'm utterly terrified. I found out a week ago and this has honestly been one of the worst weeks of my life. I'm scared of being pregnant and something happening to me so I leave my DH and potentially 2 kids behind with no means of support. I'm scared of life being hard for years and years, it's no walk in the park now due to money being tight, DH's mental health problems, threenager and not having any family support nearby.
But I'm also scared of how I'll feel if I terminate, and scared that this might actually be my one shot at having a second.
My overwhelming feeling is just 'we can't do this' but all tied up in that is bitterness that I really want another child and if it weren't for DH - who is at the root of the main issues - I'd be able to have one. But I would never have planned to put myself in this position, this is the worst decision I've ever had to make.
I feel like such a mess right now and have literally no idea what to do. Both of us are veering wildly between conflicting emotions. But when I've talked about the option of termination DH has said it's more my choice than his and that if it's early enough he probably won't be too upset by it, I appreciate he means it's my choice in that I'm the one who has to go through it physically but I feel so much pressure. It sounds stupid but I just want my mum - even my dad would do at this point. And yet I know their reaction would most likely be that this is a very bad idea and we'd be irresponsible for even considering keeping it.
Any handholding would be so appreciated right now.
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Please help, don't know what to do
23 replies
mangobutter · 29/06/2019 23:11
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