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Will I ever get over abortion?

(6 Posts)
hopeandgrace2019 Fri 05-Apr-19 21:39:36

I decided to have an abortion a month ago today although in my heart it wasn’t what I wanted to do.

I was in a toxic relationship with a man I didn’t want to be tied to for life and I started to get really depressed when pregnant and couldn’t get out of bed so I started struggling running my business and although at first I thought I’d be able to manage on my own my business then fell into difficulties and the depression got worse so I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue. I feel really traumatised by the whole thing and still feel so depressed, I feel like I’ve let myself and that baby down and I just can’t figure out why I got so bad when it was supposed to be a happy time. I was so happy when I first found out then everything just spiralled out of control, I should have been stronger. I’ve been crying everyday and not even wanting to get out of bed! I’m usually a happy person and very resistant but I feel this has knocked me down so hard I can’t get back up sad I know it’s still early days and I have excepted that I had to make that choice but I can’t shake these feelings I just want to feel like me again!

tomorrowthesunwillrise Sat 06-Apr-19 02:53:39

Hi OP, I wish I could give you a hug. It is completely normal to be feeling the way that you are.
I had a termination 5 years ago now, I was only 17 at the time with a 1 year old. I was in a very toxic and controlling relationship and I felt so extremely overwhelmed - a bit like what you've described in your post. However when I found out I was so shocked and in disbelief. I never had the chance to 'bond' during my pregnancy or to come close to mentally preparing myself for the possibility of having another baby. I had my termination at 10+4, although it broke my heart it was definitely the right thing for me at that time. You made the right decision for you, too. No one ever wants an abortion and it is one of the most heartbreaking things we can go through. But we can and we will overcome it. You need to grieve your loss and be kind to yourself. You are going through an incredibly hard and sensitive time. It's ok to feel lots of different things, and on your down days just give yourself as much time as you need. You're doing great. After I had mine I did go and see my GP to get some medication to help me cope as I didn't feel like myself either. But the you before is still there, you just need to find her again with lots of self care. I really hope you feel better soon. I am thinking of you thanks

Alicewond Sat 06-Apr-19 02:59:58

You can only learn to live with it

Crabbyandproudofit Sat 06-Apr-19 03:18:39

You will get over this. In time, you will find yourself again and you will have joy in your life and probably go on to have a family with a kind and supportive partner. For now you are grieving a loss.

So you will get over it, not by forgetting but by learning to live with the memory. At the moment you feelregret but you know that you made the best decision for the situation you were in. I also think that visiting your GP could be useful. Just take your time. Good luck with your business

Harriedharriet Sat 06-Apr-19 03:25:45

I had one and I am so grateful that I could. Without it I would have shackled to a life that would have been very destructive.
So dear lady, allow yourself grieve the "what might have been". Then pick yourself up and go on with living this life.

Aquamarine1029 Sat 06-Apr-19 03:39:01

I'm so sorry, op, but I truly feel you made the right decision. I can o oh suggest that you find a therapist to help you work through your emotions as soon as possible.

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