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Pregnant with 3rd, but getting divorced - what the hell do I do?

(7 Posts)
Wellthisisawesomenot Thu 31-Jan-19 11:13:34

NC as potentially outing.

Just found out I am pg with third - two current DC are five and eight. STBXH and I started divorce proceedings at the beginning of the year, and I have moved out; we have fifty fifty custody of the DC.

To compound the situation, this third child will not have the same father as my other two children. I met someone when STBXH and I separated and we grew close. And yes we did use contraception. Guess I am the 1% it didn't work for.

I don't know if I can go through nine months of feeling crap (my first two pregnancies were horrific), and then have the sleepless nights and compounded stress of three children. I don't know how my current children will take the news, and it will put such a massive strain on the fairly amicable relationship I currently have with their father.

I can't eat or sleep and I feel horrific. Please can someone offer some advice. Also I'd appreciate less judgmental comments for the obviously crap situation I've put myself in.

OnlyFoolsnMothers Thu 31-Jan-19 11:14:54

What’s your relationship like with the new guy?

Wellthisisawesomenot Thu 31-Jan-19 11:17:04

It's good, but he is recently divorced with kids as well, so it would be complicated for him too.

He's very supportive and has said he will support me whatever I choose, but I know that the early days of newborn craziness will be me on my own, and I barely coped when I had STBXH helping.

OnlyFoolsnMothers Thu 31-Jan-19 11:21:13

Unfortunately the only thing anyone on here can say is it’s up to you and ultimately do you want this baby?
Sounds like such an obvious point but ignoring all the bad timing- do u want a baby and could you financially handle one?

Birdie6 Thu 31-Jan-19 11:23:28

Your situation is complicated - it's all happened very fast . Fast forward 7 months and you'd be Introducing another man's baby into your children's lives at this very painful point in their lives. The idea of "taking it slowly" just couldn't happen .

Personally I'd terminate if I were you, but it's your life, your decision.

Wellthisisawesomenot Thu 31-Jan-19 11:24:37

I don't know sad

Financially it would be a struggle but I could make it work.

Logically I think the best thing would be not to continue with it, but then I start thinking about newborn baby cuddles, and another sibling for my DCs, and what if I had terminated my current DC? I can't imagine a world without them. I am so confused and sad.

Wellthisisawesomenot Thu 31-Jan-19 11:52:16

Yes, I agree with the "taking it slowly" - it's all gone at superspeed, and at the end of the day, I guess I have to think about what's right for my kids. They're the most important ones here.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation?

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